


Resistances and Dalliances

by Gwyvian



Series: Resistances and Dalliances [1]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Conspiracy, Erotica, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 16:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 77,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10620522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwyvian/pseuds/Gwyvian
Summary: The angara still do not quite trust the Andromeda Initiative, but Pathfinder Ryder is taking steps to earn that trust, visiting their homeworlds with the crew of the Tempest and helping the fight against the kett as best she can. While exploring Voeld’s hidden secrets however, she stumbles upon information from the distant past of the leader of the Anagaran Resistance, Evfra de Tershaav. In the hopes that the information will solidify their relationship with the angara and perhaps establish friendlier terms with Evfra himself, Ryder decides to share what she found and she convinces him to accompany her on a quest to save his family, if they are still alive. Shrouding their journey in secrecy, Ryder and Evfra find themselves at the heart of events that suggest that there is far more to the story, the implications and consequences of which may destroy everything Ryder worked for, including her standing with Evfra.





	1. Stormy Skies

“You did _what_?” Evfra demanded, leaning fists onto his table as he loomed over it towards Ryder. Aya’s peaceful, bright sky seemed entirely out of place behind that dark expression, just a hair’s breath away from throttling her, she was sure. He had sent everyone out reluctantly at her request, but seeing his face she wasn’t sure if it had been prudent after all. Private matter or no, she wanted witnesses around her suddenly with him in that mood.

Ryder let out a slow breath, determined not to break eye contact. “I found evidence about your family,” she repeated.

“Is it your usual form to look where your eyes are not wanted?” he asked coldly. “Or is this your idea of diplomacy, finding any loose thread you can to gain my trust, even though I made it clear I do not want you in my business?” His desk actually creaked from the pressure he was placing on it and she was sure that had she been another angara, he would not have held himself back as much as he did. Was that ‘cultural sensitivity’ or disdain on his part?

Ryder _knew_ she should have resisted the temptation to follow up on Evfra’s family and this reaction was exactly how she pictured this conversation before mustering the courage to walk through the Resistance base doors not ten minutes ago; but the man’s _every word_ was a grating, burning challenge that she couldn’t let go of and before she realized it, she had stumbled head first into an investigation that could cost her and the Initiative everything. The problem was, the moment he shut her down when she inquired about his past, it nested in the back of her mind like a splinter, a puzzle that made her itch inside. That wasn’t all, of course; he himself began to fascinate her in ways she found quite distracting.

 _Pull yourself together!_ Ryder chided herself, desperately trying to suppress the embarrassed blush creeping up her neck. “I did not go out of my way,” she replied somewhat stiffly. “But I thought that since I _did_ find something, you should know about it. You have a right to know about it.”

 _Curse_ the intoxicating glow that blossomed in her chest the first time he had approved of her actions; she blamed that feeling for this hot mess she was in now, unable to let things lie where he was concerned. Somehow that unexpected, grudging compliment made her keenly aware of how little she knew about him beyond what was obvious to the eye. Or nose, she thought, nostrils flaring slightly to catch his curious scent. The best she could do to describe it would have been a moonlit night over a blanket of snow: clean and fresh, but with a flowery twist that… Ryder groaned softly, feeling a fool for standing around admiring the block of ice that was Evfra when her news was so grim. The number of ways it was inappropriate was mortifying.

“I do not trust your motivations, human,” Evfra pushed himself away from the desk and turned away from her, arms tight across his chest. “I told you I’m not going to share my life’s history with you. You should have accepted that and left this alone. I buried their memories a long time ago and I have no wish to revisit events that happened ten years ago to satisfy your curiosity’s whims.”

“I can’t believe that,” Ryder retorted, crossing her own arms in frustration. The man was nothing if not difficult. Maybe she was becoming too accustomed to angaran openness, but it was especially irritating how little the Resistance leader divulged about himself, the one walnut that just wouldn’t crack no matter how she positioned it. _You’re just avoiding admitting that he is right about you,_ she thought, not liking the burn of shame his words caused at all. But she was also _right_ , no matter if her motivations had been driven by an irreverent curiosity. “Family is everything to your people and I might have just found _hope_ for you. Isn’t that worth something?”

“Did you learn that about us from a datapad conveniently left on Paaran Shie’s desk?” Evfra asked, glancing over a shoulder, nebulous gray eyes bleak with a void that seemed somehow more infinite each time she looked into them.

Ryder breathed out slowly again, trying to ignore the sting of that comment. “I know I am an outsider,” she began, but Evfra cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

“I’m not interested in your excuses. If that is all you came to tell me, then leave. We are finished.”

“Can’t you just _hear me out_?” Ryder shouted at him and to her surprise, Evfra cocked his head and seemed to reassess her with what seemed like an unconscious curiosity. He turned back around fully, leaned back on one heel and waited. It wasn’t all she hoped for, but at least he wasn’t objecting anymore or trying to send her away. “I might have something, it may be nothing, but you don’t lose anything if you just _listen_ to what I found,” she went on, moderating her tone as much as she could. “I was tracking a group of kett on Voeld and I came across ruins…” She faltered, words dying on her lips as her empathy demanded respectful silence. The ruins of his home, she had been about to say.

Open with emotions or no, Ryder definitely did not want to get on Evfa’s bad side, especially considering how unwelcoming his _good_ side was, but it had always been compassion that drove her to share what she found with him; she did not want to rub salt in his wounds, no matter how he pretended he didn’t feel it. Besides, she had to tread lightly here even had it not been about him personally. She was sure the Initiative would be in jeopardy without Resistance support and angering Evfra by meddling in his or any angaran’s pain was a dangerous gamble at best; but more than that, she wanted just _one_ acknowledging, admiring word out of him – just _one_. If she could do something for him, something significant to earn his trust, his respect…

Evfra did not seem at all phased by Ryder’s stumble into such a sensitive subject, unless a slight narrowing of his eyes counted. “I’ve been to that ruin more times than you have seen anything at all in Andromeda,” he said finally, obviously impatient with her to spit out the crux of her information. “I have seen every broken beam and scar on the rocks before Voeld reclaimed most of it. There is nothing there.”

“I found a trail and followed it,” Ryder said, numbed by his callous attitude; she was still just as driven to help him whether he liked it or not, but she found that her sympathy was inexorably drowning in a growing river of exasperation.

“A trail cold by ten years,” Evfra scoffed, unimpressed.

Ryder shook her head. “This was new. The kett returned for some reason. That’s why I followed it in the first place, there was nothing there for them to find anymore,” she paused again, uncomfortable in skirting around such a personal tragedy. “It led me to a base. After I killed the kett I searched around to figure out why they were interested in the place. They kept records there, some of it valuable intel that I already forwarded to the Resistance, but… some of it was quite old information. I found your family. They were taken to a camp, but as far as I can tell they were never slated to be exalted.”

“I have yet to see the ray of hope in any of this… or the sense,” Evfra interrupted, frowning in a way that said his patience with her story was skating on thin ice.

“They realized who they were, Evfra. That they were  _your_  family members, so they kept them apart from the other angara they captured. There were notes added to those entries.”

Evfra sighed, visibly irritated now. “Human, you may know your way around a weapon but your sense of tactics leaves something to be desired. If they held my family for ransom, they would have used that leverage _long_ ago. And they know that any member of the Resistance would rather die than fall into their hands, and that extends to family as far as they are concerned. I would have gladly died to save them, but the Resistance is my family now; I will not let all the sacrifices of every angara who gave their lives for this cause to crumble for a mere _rumor_ so obviously designed to draw me out.”

Ryder chewed her lip, her frustration beginning to influence her mind towards shouting again; it seemed to be the only form of communication that actually helped this conversation along. “Evfra, I _know_ it’s a long shot. You’re probably right, they may all be long gone. But if there’s even a _chance_ that they are still alive… you _have_  to try to save them.”

“It still sounds like a trap to me, not hope,” Evfra replied, finally unwinding his arms.

“Evfra,” Ryder said as sternly as she could, pouring as much emotion behind it as she could. Again, it seemed that Evfra sensed it and responded: he waited. “I will go with you if that’s what it takes, but either way _I_ cannot let a chance to save them pass me by. If you think it’s too risky to drag your ass personally out from behind your desk, so be it, but _I_ am going after this lead.”

“ _Why_ do persist in this? They’re not _your_ family,” he demanded, the fringes of anger coloring his voice, eyes like a blizzard that could have rivaled his homeworld for its stormy intensity.

“Do I need a better reason than liberating angara from the kett?”

Evfra made a noise of disgust, but his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Huff as he would, Ryder saw in that dusty infinity that was his gaze that he was convinced. “Very well,” he said finally, grimacing. “I will accompany you to Voeld. _Only_ you, it is bad enough that you pried against my wishes, I refuse to involve anyone else.”

“But my team—”

“ _No,_ ” he repeated.

“Very well,” Ryder acceded. It was good enough for now that she won her point, best not to push her luck, though at that moment she was tempted to slap him. She smiled for the first time since arriving. “This will be an interesting journey.”

“If you call dragging up my past interesting,” Evfra shrugged, his disapproval written in every line of his face.

Ryder cringed inside. “Oh, shut up, Evfra. Meet me in an hour on the Tempest,” and without letting him get a word in edgeways, she stormed out of the Resistance headquarters, ignoring the curious, baffled and intrigued looks she gathered in her wake.


	2. Thunder

“This isn’t going to work,” Ryder said, staring at Evfra and trying not to giggle hysterically. “This ship isn’t built with stowaway spies in mind, you can’t _possibly_ think that staying _in my quarters_ will go unnoticed!”

Evfra grimaced at her. “I will not leave with news of my departure from Aya on everyone’s lips, as it is it was difficult enough to arrange sneaking aboard without every eye on me.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Ryder snorted, rubbing the back of her neck with a hand. Her whole body was stiff remembering the difficult climb they had to make up a remote cliff where a shuttle was mysteriously parked, waiting for them.

Hours ago when Evfra didn’t show at the docks, Ryder had gone looking for him, only to find a series of needlessly cryptic instructions that finally lead her to a secluded corner of Aya’s port, where she met the insufferable man ready to rip his head off only to learn that he expected her to climb said cliff _without jumpjets_. Somehow during a fierce whispered argument he convinced her to just do it with the simple expedient of making her realize that he was fully willing to stand there all night long until she followed him up.

By the time they reached the top where a bemused angaran pilot was waiting for them, Ryder was tempted to just leave the man behind on the planet and never return again; the only reason she didn’t was because it was far too satisfying to see Evfra gasping the moist air as much as she was. _Resistance leader indeed, he’s gone soft behind that desk,_ she thought again, remembering the grim look on his face that said comments on her part were quite unwelcome.

“Get this ship moving, Pathfinder, I have to get back before my absence is remarked,” Evfra interrupted her thoughts and crossed his arms expectantly.

“I’m telling you Evfra, the _entire crew_ knows you’re here. You being in my _quarters_ is just not going to work!” Ryder exclaimed, thoroughly exasperated. “I’ve never done more cloak and dagger _nonsense_ in my life – and I’m doing _you_ a favor!”

“Don’t mistake my presence on this mission as a debt I owe you,” he replied coldly. “You were the one who went looking for it in the first place. Well, you’ve got my attention: now drive this thing out of Aya before I lose my patience and leave now.”

Ryder gritted her teeth, but did as she was asked, muttering implications under her breath all the way to the bridge. It was still worth it; no matter how obnoxiously arrogant he was – making her climb a cliff of all things, commandeering her quarters and then bossing her around on her own ship – the look of admiration on his face as he crept around the marvel of engineering that the Tempest was made her want to continue; after all, who knew what odd place she’d find him gawking? He would _never_ live it down. She absently directed the Tempest to aim for Voeld, barely acknowledging Suvi or Kallo and as the ship began to lift off and continued to seethe silently.

Evfra had _also_ coerced Ryder to shoo everyone out of his path before he boarded; she had complied, putting up with the knowing looks of her crew, not to mention the embarrassingly intrigued looks as soon as they realized Evfra’s intended path clearly lead to her quarters. She might have grudgingly admitted that there was sense to sneaking about on Aya in case he was right and the kett were just waiting for an opportunity when he wasn’t at Resistance headquarters, but this part of the plan was just plain ridiculous. The man would sooner admit he chewed rocks as a hobby to practice those gloomy grimaces than admit that it was unnecessary theatrics, however.

_What am I going to say when I don’t choose a squad?_ Ryder mused, eyes studying the warping light that closed around the ship and sucked it into a tunnel aimed straight at Evfra’s icy homeworld. Before long, Ryder’s attention refocused on the space around them as the ship arrived at their destination. Kallo was already beginning descent; somehow his words were lost on her.

The moment came too soon when the Tempest finally landed, engines winding down. “I’m going down alone this time,” she said uncomfortably into the silence, trying not to look at her companions. That didn’t prevent her from seeing Suvi and Kallo exchanged a look, Suvi even unsuccessfully tried to hide a small smile and Ryder gritted her teeth again. It was clearly obvious that she was taking Evfra with her. But, the man wanted secrecy, so she would out-secret him to the point of idiocy _just_ so that she could rub it in later when he finally realized what nonsense it all was. Even a pig-headed angaran as the Resistance leader was had to come to his senses sooner or later and realize that this sneaking about was pointless and embarrassing.

 

An hour or so later, Ryder was convinced that Evfra was simply incapable of admitting he was wrong. Again, the man had to sneak past everyone, bundle up in the shadows of the Nomad’s backseat even when getting out would have been easier, and they had to avoid every daar, every Resistance outpost and anything at all that even remotely seemed like civilization on the frigid world. He never said more than two words to her, always pointing, grimacing and expecting her to follow his instructions; because, apparently, it was at _his_ sufferance that they were embarking on the mission.

“Here we are,” Ryder announced, actually relieved to find herself climbing out of the Nomad into the deadly cold that wormed its way right through her armor. Every inch of her was ice, but the time between the moment she had walked into Evfra’s office and now had reduced her to pleading, if it would have finished the mission sooner.

“So we are,” Evfra climbed out behind her, the deep breath he took spoke of a man coming home in a way that Ryder never expected to see from him. At least, not where _she_ could see.

“Come on, the facility should be just ahead.” Without waiting for a response, Ryder took the lead and approached the building. She couldn’t quite shake an itch between her shoulder blades that something was off about it. _Probably that it’s a kett facility, what could be more wrong than that?_

“I think the kett have moved back in,” Evfra said softly, those stormy eyes studying the area around the facility.

“The bodies are gone,” Ryder remarked. “Let’s be careful.”

Evfra grimaced as he followed her inside. “Why did you leave the data here in the first place?” he asked.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask,” Ryder grunted, moving by memory towards the side chamber that seemed to be the communication’s hub of the facility.

“I should have asked sooner,” Evfra countered, giving her a flat look.

“Firstly, a lot of the older data was lost or corrupted. Secondly… there’s something about that particular piece of technology that seems impervious to SAM’s scans.”

“Impervious to your AI? And you _failed_ to mention that?”

“It’s not Remnant, at least I don’t think,” Ryder chewed her lip. With relief she spotted the right door before she had to go on explaining what she didn’t quite understand herself. SAM was still analyzing and the idea galled her to reveal any ignorance in front of Evfra. “This is it.” As soon as the doors opened a motion caught in the corner of her eye made her heart leapt into her throat and her weapon came up, pointing at the shadow.

“Wait! Don’t shoot!” the figure spoke quickly, hands raised beseechingly towards them. He was angaran, Ryder realized, instantly lowering her weapon. Evfra, she noticed, was less quick to do so. “I am not your enemy,” the man added, addressing Evfra.

“That remains to be seen,” Evfra said.

“I was a prisoner in a lower chamber when the Pathfinder lifted all the security lockdowns,” the man explained, eyes never leaving Evfra’s face, not even long enough to acknowledge her presence.

Ryder frowned, a little irritated. “Why didn’t you show yourself? I didn’t see any lower chamber when I was here.”

“Come on, we have a purpose here,” Evfra said gruffly, walking up to the odd machine the other angaran had clearly been studying.

Ryder followed him, but kept her attention on the stranger, noticing that he favored one of his legs more than the other as he moved out of Evfra’s way. “You’re hurt,” she said.

“I must get back to my sister,” the man said, still addressing Evfra. “She was captured with me, we both escaped. I left her in a nearby cave.”

Ryder threw her hands up in the air and turned away, giving up on the man. Clearly he was a fan of the Resistance leader, maybe even besotted with him judging by the intent gaze the man had for Evfra. Sweeping the room for any changes since the last time she had been here, Ryder moved away from the pair, ignoring the conversation to which she was clearly uninvited.

Seeing the place again dredged up unwanted memories of death and destruction, but her mind kept dwelling on it and wouldn’t let her focus on anything else. It had been an unusually hectic fight her team fought here and it bothered her in the way that tickled something in her memory; especially the machine Evfra was now scrutinizing intently, nothing about it made sense no matter how she and SAM had analyzed it. The minutes began to weigh on her when she realized there was nothing else to see in the room, so she leaned against a table to watch the door and waited.

Time passed as though jellied, oozing across Ryder’s mind, occasionally punctuated by murmurs of admiration or what sounded like pleading from the wounded angara, all directed at Evfra, whose shoulders seemed to tighten with each word every time she glanced back, until she wasn’t sure he wouldn’t just burst at the seam. What seemed like an eternity later, Evfra finished his study.

“Let’s go,” he said more stonily than usual and Ryder turned back to him, surprised.

“Could you make sense of the information?”

“It’s meaningless,” he replied, heading for the door.

“Wait! Evfra,” she called after him, glancing over her shoulder at the other angara. “At least let’s help the poor man get back to his family.”

Evfra paused, the frown he shot back at her pulling at his scar. “Very well,” he conceded, then barked at the man, “where is this cave?”

“Not far,” the man said, limping out and passing them to lead the way.

Ryder motioned for Evfra to hang back a little as they followed the man outside. When he was out of earshot, she asked in a lowered voice, “Why are you avoiding him?”

“Something about him doesn’t sit well with me,” Evfra growled softly. “He talks a lot and says nothing.”

The cold was starting to make her teeth chatter, but Ryder pressed forward, studying their guide doubtfully. Evfra was right, the whole situation seemed out of place to her and the stranger was no exception, but then that had been true the moment she stumbled on that datapad in the first place; she thought it had more to do with digging into Evfra’s past than anything else. She glanced at him every once in a while, wondering if he felt any pain being so close to what was once his home, but she didn’t have long to consider it as they reached the cave the wounded angara led them to. At any rate, nothing showed on his face if he did feel something.

Ryder stopped at the mouth of the cave, suddenly wary. “Is it me, or is there no sister here?” she asked, eyes focusing more sharply on the angara and just like that she understood what was off about the man. “You’re Roekaar, aren’t you?” The glance he gave her – the first he had directed at her since they met – seemed to confirmed it, but before she could do more than curse, shots sounded around them.

Kett swarmed from the cave and quickly overwhelmed them, Ryder lost sight of the Roekaar almost instantly, but she was too busy trying to fend the kett off to care about the angara. Beside her Evfra snarled, slashing and shooting with a precision that she couldn’t help but admire, even amidst the chaos, but she quickly lost that admiration when the Resistance leader suddenly stopped dead, an expression of shock washing away his anger as he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from shooting an oncoming kett.

“What are you _doing_ , Evfra?” Ryder demanded, barely dodging the vicious blow aimed for her head by the kett. She was quick to take advantage of her opponent’s momentary opening while still recovering from the lunge that should have knocked her out, but Evfra still held one of her wrists firmly.

“ _I believe you,_ ” Evfra whispered fiercely, seizing her eyes in a brief moment with his own and there was something _different_ about the way he looked at her which made her stop struggling. “Now let them capture us or we will _never_ save my family,” he growled and let her go, staggering her.

Her moment of hesitation was all the kett needed; she had seriously wounded the one she had been engaged with, but another crept up to her in that critical moment and slammed his weapon into her head; the last thing she saw was Evfra crumbling beside her before the world went dark.


	3. Short Circuit

“That _has_ to have been the worst plan we’ve had yet,” Ryder muttered darkly, rubbing her head and wincing with pain that seemed to roll across her incessantly.

“As bad as coming to Voeld on nothing more than an echo from the distant past,” Evfra agreed.

“I suppose we’re even where bad ideas are concerned, then,” she replied.

It had been scarcely five minutes since she groggily regained consciousness by her estimation, but her thoughts were still as sluggish as when she opened her eyes. They seemed to be locked into what she supposed was a storage closet of some sort, if a roomy one. There wasn’t much around them except for an odd table with suspicious stains on it and cables winding up the wall; and of course, no sign of her outer layers of armor or their weapons.

A small light gave them shadowy illumination but not nearly enough heat; each breath Ryder drew was accompanied by a tightening of what felt like a band of ice across her chest. She flexed her fingers painfully, marveling at how lucky she was to have survived that hot mess that was their skirmish with the kett in the first place. Something about this entire mission bothered her, as if all the pieces of their encounters matched her expectations a little _too_ cleanly.

“How did you know they wouldn’t just kill us?” she asked after a moment, teeth chattering.

“I didn’t know they wouldn’t kill _you_ ,” Evfra admitted, not looking at her. He moved around a little gingerly as he ran gloved fingers along the door and wall, and Ryder wondered if that had more to do with the dried line of sapphire running down one temple or the lack of light in the room. She had no notion of how long they had been there, after all.

Ryder stared at him. “And you stopped me from defending myself anyway?” She shook her head, a little taken aback. “Well, what’s done is done. So what is your theory on why a Roekaar of all people would lead us into a kett ambush? For that matter, what was he doing poking around in there in the first place? I don’t like this, Evfra, something is wrong here.”

“Enough speculation,” Evfra growled.

Ryder’s lips thinned, but she elected not to let herself be provoked. “Where are we, anyway?” she asked.

“Behind a sealed door,” he replied flatly, though the twist of his mouth made it sound as if he was offended by how little they regarded the pair as a threat, with no more between them and the world than a simple lock, apparently. “I glimpsed the room on the other side when they brought us. We are inside an old facility of some sort, not the same one we came from.”

“That’s it?” Ryder asked. “They didn’t even bother to post a guard or something?”

“They did at first. Something drew their attention away after stripping us. I don’t have an AI to get us out, however,” he added, looking at her for the first time. His eyes brushed over her head injury and clearly dismissed it.

Ryder finally resigned herself to standing up and joined him at the door, wincing in pain as her head protested the movement. For that matter, her whole body screamed for just a short lie down and sleep she badly needed, though in her mind knew she would die before long if she obeyed that impulse. She felt a little disgruntled knowing that Evfra likely would have let her die from the cold if she hadn’t wakened on her own, no matter that SAM would have forestalled that outcome for as long as possible; the angara was obviously in a single-minded mood and judging by his attitude so far, she wasn’t part of that focus. It was difficult to stay awake, though.

“SAM, can you get us out?” she asked between gritted teeth, shifting her weight from foot to foot and stretching her arms to try to get her circulation flowing more easily and invigorate her enough to keep her going.

_Yes, Pathfinder._

“So, I was out longer than you,” she directed that at Evfra, not quite glaring at him, but he simply ignored her, crossing his arms and fixing his gaze on the door expectantly as soon as he heard her ask SAM to open it. “You could have at least _tried_ to wake me,” she added. “Humans don’t do so well in the cold, you know.”

No response, apart from a slow sigh of irritation. Something clicked audibly inside the door and Evfra immediately crept out, silent as a shadow and hugging the walls in case there were enemies. Ryder followed, echoing the Resistance leader’s vexed sigh, and after a quick appraisal of the room told her no one was there she slowly straightened and continued flexing stiff muscles. Her trembling made it difficult, but she persisted grimly.

“Here, weapons,” Evfra said, pointing to a table in a corner where it seemed the kett had unloaded all their equipment into one messy pile. They exchanged puzzled glances before approaching; the whole situation was very strange from the start, but their too easy escape topped off by finding their weapons in the _next room_ strained credulity.

“Evfra, I know you’re not one for conversation, but we _have_ to talk about this. Something is going on, I simply cannot believe the kett are this sloppy,” Ryder said, sorting through the equipment to find – yes! She gratefully extracted her chest piece and strapped it in place. It was cold and made her shiver even harder, but she hoped eventually it would hold in what little body warmth remained to her.

Evfra grunted in response, busy with his own equipment.

“Are we going to at least talk about the Roekaar? I would think their involvement would catch your attention,” Ryder persisted.

“That was your assumption,” Evfra replied and she decided not to push it or she would end up shooting him in the foot. She changed the subject.

“Why did you want us to be captured in the first place?” she asked casually, hefting her weapon and feeling in control again the moment she had it in hand; though, that feeling fled quickly enough when she aimed and her hand shook so much she doubted it would be much use unless adrenaline or SAM guided her.

Evfra grimaced. “The angara shouted a name I recognized, a name he couldn’t possibly know unless he had been in contact with my family.”

“I think the exact words you said were ‘ _I believe you_ ’,” Ryder smiled at him faintly.

“I had to stop you,” he replied stiffly. “Didn’t you notice that none of the kett’s attacks were lethal?”

“So you figured a trap isn’t a trap if you know it’s one? You’re not living this one down, by the way. You said you believe me.” Raising her weapon, she stepped out of the chamber, grinning when he groaned in exasperation.

“Don’t let it distract you,” he said caustically, but his frown of disapproval was not as convincing as usual.

Could it be true? It would be the perfect lure to tempt Evfra into acting as he did, rekindling a hope he had buried long ago; the thought made her cringe a little, since that was exactly the bait _she_ had used. It did smell of an elaborate trap, but she couldn’t understand why the kett didn’t simply execute them on the spot once they fell for it and were at their mercy. Ryder studied her companion for a moment and she started seeing the signs: his eyes were still like winter glass hiding churning the depths of a blizzard, but they seemed to hold lightness in them she had never seen before. In fact, they were quite beautiful, now that she noticed, blushing a little at the thought.

“With any luck, we’ve been taken to the prison where they’re holding your family and we can rescue them,” she said gently.

“More of your optimism?”

“Hey, I’m not the one who grabbed you and let us get captured at the first _whisper_ of hope,” she replied.

Evfra sighed and, seeming to come to a decision, put a hand on her arm to stall her. “Ryder, even if you were wrong… thank you. Perhaps you were right in tracking down this lead. It’s better to know than not, better late than never.”

Ryder was silent for a long moment, stunned by the earnestness in his eyes as he studied her expression, almost as though wondering what she was thinking. “Sure,” she managed to get out, which seemed to be answer enough to satisfy him. _Evfra!_ Wondering what _she_ thought! She couldn’t help but smile warmly at him, though her face felt too stiff from the cold to convey it properly. As he let go she turned away from him, biting her lip and trying to sort out the mix of emotions swirling in her. Evfra was still the same gruff Evfra, yet… she saw someone else in him in that instance and that transformation mesmerized her.

They stepped into the silent corridor beyond the outer door and, with an exchanged nod, agreed on a direction, holding weapons ready. Ryder’s momentary pleasure evaporated quickly as that foreboding itch returned, convincing her that they had yet to see the worst. Each moment that passed sent agonizing fire down her limbs as she struggled to hold her weapon steady. It was difficult not to concentrate on how miserably cold it was, chest aching from breathing no matter how much protective gear she had on, but fear kept her sharp enough; _and_ the wonder that sent her reeling. Evfra’s thanks kept echoing in her mind, still as incredible as when he spoke them after they had been exploring for a long time, covering enough ground that the size of the complex grew exponentially in her mind.

Every chamber they looked into, every hallway slowly built a map in Ryder’s mind of an eerily deserted maze. The entire complex was silent, except for the odd groans and hisses of kett machinery keening through the air, as if everyone had left in the middle of what they were doing to get out of their way. Her mind was not entirely on it, however; she reconstructed the series of events that lead them to this point, increasingly feeling a fool for not taking heed of her intuition’s warning pinpricks the more she focused on all the wrong choices she had made that lead them to their present circumstances. It had all seemed like fate when she stumbled on that intel and following the lead was just something she would have done anyway, but after that nothing _made sense_ and that by itself should have stopped her long enough to approach things differently.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Evfra muttered as they finally entered what Ryder estimated to be the near the heart of the facility, judging by the proportions of the room. His eyes had studied every detail of every room they entered, picking up datapads wherever they found any, examining the odd objects the kett left lying around with the sort of distaste that only changed his usual dour expression slightly, but when he spoke he stopped his intense scrutiny as it increasingly became obvious that there were no enemies around, nor much of anything else of note.

“I don’t like it either,” Ryder said absently, still thinking furiously. Evfra was a prime target for the kett, but it just didn’t add up in her mind that they would leave such ridiculous leeway for them to escape and then not even a single kett came to confront them?

“It had better yield results, Pathfinder, it was _your_ idea,” Evfra’s scars pulled at his mouth as he assayed an unexpected hint of a smile.

Ryder gaped at him, caught completely off guard. “You really do believe me,” she said finally, not quite able to imagine how that could possibly be true. Only yesterday she had never suspected that there was anything beneath his icy disposition apart from disapproval and irritation towards her, but perhaps… it was hard not to smile in return. First he thanked her with that beautiful sparkle in his eye and now this? In the end they might actually get along.

“This doesn’t look like a prison,” Ryder said, trying to focus her brain on the task at hand. Her mood buoyed, she briefly indulged in imagining breaking into a room somewhere at the heart of this complex triumphantly, freeing Evfra’s family and whoever else was held captive there like a hero from a fairytale; just the look on Evfra’s face would be worth the effort, though considering their exchange, she rather liked the idea of seeing a heartfelt smile from him more than hearing the disgruntled respect she had been aiming for originally. Yet, even lost in pleasant thoughts she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing some important, terrible detail that would cost them sooner or later; reminding herself of that dampened her optimism quickly enough.

“It does not,” Evfra agreed, his entire demeanor shouting combat readiness, a role he seemed to slip into as easily as he donned the mantle of the inspiring leader. It wasn’t _exactly_ charisma, but Ryder felt the magnetism of his surety in his cause, not to mention the effortless confidence he seemed to have in their ability to pull off their mission. It was comforting, if a little disconcerting coming from him, or rather, the fact that she absorbed it so readily.

“I think the center is through that door,” Ryder gestured at the far exit; its size and design somehow set it apart, though the differences were subtle.

Something made her hesitate the moment the doors opened and they entered; a feeling like a lump of shadow settled in her stomach that immediately put her on alert. The first few steps didn’t feel any different, though there was a chaos about the room’s layout that didn’t sit well with her as she squinted through the dimness. The prickle came first, a sudden stab of certainty that she was in danger and suddenly she understood something about the room on an instinctive level that hadn’t registered at first.

“Enemies!” she yelled, throwing herself to the side reflexively as something white hot brushed millimeters from her face.

“I knew it!” Evfra exclaimed, throwing himself into cover.

_Why does this keep happening?_ Before she could think further, Ryder’s weapon was aiming at a target, her mind focusing in on her battle senses; enemies in front, several circling on the periphery to flank on the right. The noises behind her told her that there were more ghosting through the empty corridors they had left behind, but before uncertainty in their position overcame her, she shut away all feeling and became one with her gun, each bullet an extension of her desire to take down each enemy that came under her scope. The recoil vibrated down her already fatigued muscles and she missed more than she hit, but thankfully Evfra’s fingers had no such trouble and the band of enemies was quickly reduced to a handful, then stragglers and finally, none at all.

The battle was brief and intense, Ryder’s attention dilating between the seconds it took to aim, fire, slash, roll away and refocus. At least using a broader slashing style ensured that her melee didn’t suffer from the debilitating cold as her shots did, but her stamina was already depleted and each new enemy she faced increased her doubt in the possibility of her survival. Once she almost went down and that would have been the end if it hadn’t been for Evfra’s blade appearing in the kett’s neck just as it extracted itself from Ryder’s grip and aimed for her head.

Before she knew it she was breathing hard, her arms and legs felt weighty and overstrained, but just as fatigue would overwhelmed her completely, the fight was finally over, leaving her trembling and excruciatingly sore from head to toe.

“That was too easy,” Ryder panted, putting her gun down and warily peering out from behind her last hiding place before flopping back with a groan. Her hand trembled as she raised it before her eyes, though. _Easy,_ she scoffed inwardly. It had been a while since she had performed so badly in a fight.

“Because half our work was already done,” Evfra said angrily.

Ryder glanced at him and when she saw where his attention was focused, she clambered up and took in her surroundings again, this time paying attention to the bodies surrounding them. _Much_ more dead than they had fought against in the past – minutes? Hours? It felt like an eternity and a fraction of a second all at the same time. She had worked her way around the room and understood why she hadn’t spotted them at first; her eyes travelled across dozens of kett she was sure she hadn’t seen before, though it explained a few stumbles she had. Maybe her mistakes hadn’t been all that bad, although if she had been at peak performance she would have noticed the corpses in the first place and avoided them.

Ryder gasped as her eyes found the first angaran face. “A Resistance cell?” she asked in shock, looking up at Evfra. “I thought no one was supposed to know where we were headed!”

“Not all of them are Resistance,” Evfra said stonily. He squinted at the bodies and amended, “I don’t think _any_ of them are Resistance, but this,” he gestured around the room to take in the kett corpses, “is not the work of civilians.”

“Escaped captives? This _can’t_ have been everyone,” Ryder said, feeling frustrated and anxious. “Look around for clues,” she said, approaching the first door she came across to check for hidden enemies, but it was locked. She decided to circle back to it later, instead approaching a third door to the right of where they had entered; that was where the flankers had come in and she wanted to make sure no one else lurked there. It let out onto what looked like a very long corridor, thankfully empty. More importantly, if she was right that corridor just might have been a straight path outside. “We’ve got a short way out I think,” she called back to her companion.

When she walked back to him, she found Evfra pouring over a stack of datapads, his gun casually propped on his shoulder with one hand while the other flipped through the information, finger flashing. One particular page seemed to catch his attention and he paused, letting out a growl of anger.

“This _was_ a trap,” Evfra said, burning eyes fixing on her.

“Let me see,” she closed the distance between them and reached out for the datapad, but Evfra didn’t move to hand it to her.

“It says here to expect the Pathfinder and the Resistance leader to come looking for lost family,” he said coldly instead, “information they received from one of _your_ people.”

“Impossible,” Ryder said automatically, shaking her head in denial.

Evfra scoffed. “See for yourself. I can only imagine what the kett are doing now that I’ve successfully been lured away from headquarters,” he said accusingly, walking away from the datapads to glower at the corpses as though wishing them alive just so he could kill them all over again. “My family was never here, somehow one of yours recruited that angara and they made _sure_ I wouldn’t get back…”

Ryder ignored him and read the datapad he had left on top. It was a brief missive with one a mention of a clearly human name; there was a handoff mentioned, but worst was the part detailing someone ‘following the Pathfinder’ to make sure that she stumbled on an opportunity she couldn’t refuse. She felt her face suffuse with crimson when she got to the part detailing how their plan would ‘exploit her fascination’ with the Resistance leader. A ball of ice formed in her stomach that had nothing to do with Voeld’s unforgiving weather; could she _really_ have been duped that easily?

_This is the most amateur plan I’ve ever seen,_ Ryder thought angrily, but her mortification was far more powerful than her outrage. It all was crumbling down, but her mind still refused to accept it at its face value; the whole experience was like a logical short circuit. Whatever disturbing gossip was circulating about her frequent visits to Resistance headquarters, the rough plan outlined on that datapad _still_ did not add up.

“That _can’t_ be right, the Initiative would never do something like this,” she said finally. The only explanation she had was that someone was trying to set the Initiative up, sow seeds of doubt between the Milky Way colonists and the Resistance. But who? The kett had the strongest motive, but all the sloppiness she had seen since their capture made her suspicious of that. The Roekaar? Whatever Evfra said, that angara _had_ been one of them.

“Your people are hardly known for their solidarity,” Evfra said coldly. “The exiles are a prime example of that.” Ryder glanced at him; he couldn’t possibly believe it, could he?

“Not even an exile would have a reason to ally with the kett,” she answered a little more brusquely than she had intended, though inwardly she winced at how easily she _could_ imagine some greedy bastard from Kadara selling out people he didn’t know. Still…

“That evidence says otherwise,” he replied slowly. “You may be right, however.” He seemed to be studying her as he spoke, voice thawing somewhat. What _was_ it about her outbursts that fascinated him so? This was by far not the first time he had reacted strangely when she snapped at him.

“One of _yours_ did that first,” Ryder pointed out frostily, pushing herself away from the table and taking a few paces. She could smell the stench of death cling to her skin more and more the longer they were in the chamber.

“True,” Evfra said grudgingly, clearly almost as displeased about conceding her point as the fact in and of itself.

“Let’s see if we can find some explanation,” Ryder said stubbornly, stepping over a contorted kett corpse while pulling up her omnitool to unlock the only door left to explore beyond. The kett had clearly been intent on protecting it judging by the number of bodies surrounding it, now that she paid attention; it made her uneasy. She felt rather than saw Evfra step up behind her as the doors slid open to reveal a strange pod containing a deceased angara. Female, by the proportions, but the age of the body made such determinations somewhat difficult. She scanned the body as Evfra brushed past her, a hand reaching to the glass as if to touch the angara’s face.

“Who is she?” Evfra asked softly, studying the body, though whatever identifying marks she might have had in life had faded away long ago.

“SAM?” Ryder asked hesitantly, dreading the answer. Something seemed to click into place in her mind as she stared at Evfra’s face, so filled with unexpected trepidation, his eyes a void of memories and pain. Evfra was clearly the center of this elaborate scheme, but it wasn’t his death that they wanted, but to break him; and if that was true, Ryder’s actions since finding that datapad had softened him for it as effectively as if she had betrayed him personally.

_Scanning_ , SAM’s voice said in her mind.


	4. Blue Lightning

_Pathfinder_ , SAM’s voice said. _This angara shares genetic material with Evfra. I can confirm that they are closely related, most likely a parent._

Ryder’s breath caught.

“She’s related to you,” she said quietly after a moment. She couldn’t bring herself to say that she was likely his mother, but judging by Evfra’s expression, he knew. _I sent him on this chase… and now he has lost his family twice._

For the longest time all Evfra did was breathe, overcome, eyes fastened on the remains. Ryder wanted desperately to somehow soothe his pain, but knew that there was nothing she could do. In fact she had done _quite_ enough already, she thought bitterly, landing them in a trap designed to break him. He had been right about her; it had been a curious whim, a desire to do something for him that would indebt him to her and now he paid the price for it.

Well, perhaps that was unfair. She had been genuinely thrilled at the prospect of saving his family, and once Evfra seemed to warm towards her since they set out from Aya, her priorities had changed from desiring his respect to desiring to just do something for him because she wanted to. She shifted her weight and wondered uncomfortably if she should back away and give the Resistance leader some privacy, but something told her that it wouldn’t matter; he was alone in a grief that no one could penetrate, no matter how close. Perhaps if he had a little hope…

Ryder opened her mouth to say that the rest of his family may yet live, and that she wanted to continue the search with him, but she stopped herself. What was there to search? The entire mission had been a setup from the start and she refused to participate any further in a scheme clearly designed to bring Evfra to the brink; she shuddered to think what a disaster that would be if what happened here broke his spirit, imagining the downfall of the Resistance, the last of the angara swept away by an ocean of kett and the Initiative along with it. Instantly hot shame welled up inside her for even thinking of such consequences in the face of his tragedy; it wasn’t just the Resistance leader who couldn’t afford to break, _Evfra_ as a person did not deserve this torment. No one did.

Suddenly with a roar of rage that seemed to come from the depths of his soul Evfra’s clenched fist smashed into the glass, making a crack, blue blood spurting from a myriad of wounds breaking open on his knuckles. Ryder jumped, heart climbing into her throat and she took an involuntary step back before freezing on the spot. His fist drew back and he drove it into the same spot, over and over again. Electricity began to crackle with each blow until smoke trickled from ashen burns along the surface of the pod, but it still did not break.

Shivering with emotion, Evfra’s hand lowered to his side and he turned away slowly, stepping over the bodies littering the floor, pausing here and there when he saw an angaran face among the dead as if memorizing their faces. Ryder couldn’t begin to imagine what he must have been feeling, but the desire to take it all back and undo the harm she had inadvertently caused was an almost unbearable ache.

At first, Ryder had wanted Evfra on her side in a general sense, she saw him as a gruff, hardened fighter who knew how to point and shoot, send men and women to die and who also happened to be influential enough that she needed him. His lost family had been an opportunity, regardless of her personal motivations, no matter how callous she felt for thinking of them that way. The sobriety of what she was witnessing, especially considering her role in it, made her realize how much more there was to Evfra. Even if any doubt had lingered in her about it, the expression he wore now would have disabused her of the notion. She would have given anything at that moment to have discovered his depths under any other circumstances than the terrible way she was learning it now, but at the very least she knew she would never again underestimate the pain someone in his situation endured.

“Evfra,” she began, unsure of what to say but knowing she couldn’t keep her peace any longer, “I…”

“After all this…” Evfra interrupted, his eyes drifting across the dead, flames of hate burning painfully in his eyes whenever they touched a kett corpse. “I somehow found myself believing you. Now look at us.”

“Evfra, I’m…” Ryder stepped closer, overwhelmed with his loss and her guilt. “I swear to you, this was not our doing,” she faltered, snatching back the hand she had half extended towards him when his eyes fixed on her, raw emotion spilling out as surely and steadily as the sapphire droplets beaded at the tip of his fingers. His eyes were a silvery maelstrom, and the longer their eyes were locked, the more anger seemed to seethe in him. Anger at her, she thought miserably.

“Every day angara die through my actions,” Evfra said as coldly as Voeld’s icy winds, “but none of my actions have been burdened with such terrible _hope_. There is nothing more for us here,” he broke eye contact and slammed a foot into the nearest kett, its lifeless body absorbing the hit, cushioned as it was by other bodies. Without another look in her direction, he stormed out, his stride stiff with anger; but what made Ryder’s heart twist was the hurt he clearly tried to hide from her. In the fraction of a second before his eyes left hers his face had crumpled in pain. He walked through the doorway that lead onto the corridor she had discovered and eventually the vibrations of his footsteps faded away.

“That can’t be healthy for an angaran,” Ryder said softly, hugging herself as she stared after him, shivering. At this point she wasn’t sure the cold would ever fully leave her bones no matter how much warmth she got. “All that anger, that sorrow… I think he has been hiding it for a long time.” No matter what had happened here, she was sure that had he truly let go of his family and mourned them properly the false hope she had given him would not have impacted him so deeply; or maybe she was trying to avoid the conclusion that she was responsible.

_He has demonstrated unusual restraint for an angaran in previous encounters,_ SAM’s voice agreed in her head. _Perhaps his leadership required a different approach which has now been compromised by this experience._

“Yeah,” Ryder said, tears building in her eyes before cutting her face with ice as they rolled down. “And I took that from him.” How could she _possibly_ undo this mistake?

_It may help to find the culprits behind the trap and bring them to justice,_ SAM suggested.

“I suppose,” Ryder agreed. “I think it will take a little time to regain his trust enough to even begin unravelling that knot. Well,” she briskly wiped away her tears as best she could, walking back to where she had left her gun to pick it up and holster it. “The very least I can do right now is make sure he doesn’t bleed to death. Those gashes looked deep.”

_Yes, Pathfinder._ SAM went silent.

As she approached the door to follow Evfra, she slowed and looked back at the pod. The glass still smoldered from Evfra’s punches; a last message of pain left over his mother’s grave. She would find someone to come retrieve the body and lay her to rest, in whatever manner the angara deemed appropriate. Discreetly; she didn’t want Evfra finding out about it until he had time to cool down, sort out his grief and maybe even find a little closure. Besides, she very much feared that any action on her part right now would only enrage him for her continued meddling and lose whatever shambles of trust remained between them. _I’m sorry, Evfra,_ she thought, and left.

The corridor did indeed lead her outside without any more twisting and turning; as she looked over her shoulder once she took a few paces away from the doorway, she realized just how large the compound was. It was a little amazing that they had found their way in there in the first place, though on reflection she thought that the pair of them had been neatly shepherded to the heart of the complex where they could make their grim ‘discovery’. Biting her lip, she wished she understood what was going on, that the remaining pieces of the puzzle would fall together in her mind, but there were still too many details and not enough context to fit it all together.

Roaming around in the snow, she finally found Evfra staring silently at the distant ghosts of mountains, seemingly lost in thought. His injured hand flexed with an unconscious rhythm, a patch of blood dying the snow blue beside him; clearly he had been standing on the spot for some time now. She approached him, not quite wanting to risk talking to him and have him look at her with such anger again. Keeping a few paces distance, her eyes travelled across the landscape, hoping for some point of reference, but everything looked the same to her: white, bleak and endless.

“SAM, can you get us back to the Nomad?” she asked softly.

Before SAM could answer, Evfra spoke unexpectedly. “It’s that way,” he pointed to his left without looking.

“How do you know?” Ryder asked, despite herself.

“I did not fall unconscious as you did,” he replied. “It’s not far.” Without another word, he started off in that direction.

“I’m not sure I’m going to make it,” Ryder remarked under her breath; the naked cold of Voeld was rapidly cooling her already cramped muscles until every move was a great effort. In comparison, the frigid kett complex seemed like a hot summer’s day – and a swiftly fading memory of one at that.

To her surprise, Evfra heard her and paused, looking back at her with… could that be _concern_? “Techiix lies between us and your Nomad,” he said. “We can stop there.”

“I’m not sure I’ll make it that far, either,” Ryder said through chattering teeth, blushing a little. She knew it was no one’s fault, but it was embarrassing to feel so frail when Evfra clearly didn’t mind the cold in the slightest.

“Come this way,” he turned away and started off in a new direction, not bothering with an explanation.

Evfra lead them to a cave of some sort that became a tunnel as they went deeper; by Evfra’s confident strides ahead, Ryder assumed it would eventually lead them out close to Techiix, or some other hopefully warm place. She was grateful for the shelter from the wind and for Evfra’s native knowledge of the planet that helped them find it in the first place, but by the time they had slipped, climbed and jumped their way through what looked like built corridors and past looming glaciers and dangerous chasms, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have preferred to just given up hours ago and let herself be buried under soft, numbing snow. Her hands ached with what felt like a million cuts and bruises, her skin too fragile to withstand gripping ledges and scraping across ice even despite the protection of her gauntlets and her muscles felt rigid and ready snap; but worst of all was the fact that the pain was fading from her feet, and that was definitely not a good sign.

What kept Ryder going in those moments of physical doubt was the growing conviction that may be able set things right with Evfra. She first realized there was a sliver of hope that she might yet achieve that goal when her hand slipped on a particularly slippery ledge and Evfra caught her; his grimace was expected, but she saw a flash of worry in his eyes that took her by surprise. That was the second time he had shown concern for her, a quality he most definitely did not have before. Even just a few hours gone when they escaped from their ‘prison’ she was sure that he would have left her to die without a tear of remorse, but she was beginning to think she needed to reevaluate him. Or perhaps it was just being here, on Voeld, so close to whom he had been before becoming the leader of the Resistance; here, he was just a man.

It also stirred something else in her: her empathy for him didn’t wane in the slightest, but she took his changes in disposition over the past day and especially the unexpected small, protective gestures he made, like helping her climb along a ledge by keeping an arm behind her in case her numb legs slipped, as a sign of a fragile closeness that made her thoughts wander in directions that made it increasingly difficult to look him in the eye without blushing, though he seemed not to notice the effect his gallantry was having.

Maybe it was unintentional, but Ryder suspected that his image of her had changed meaningfully and, like any angara would, he expressed it in his actions without reservations. She only wished she knew what she had done right that made his anger toward her fade. All in all, it was as if she had just met the man beneath the title for the first time; at first, it was a little exhilarating, like catching a glimpse into a room where no one was allowed, but as time passed she was more concerned than curious, to the point where she wasn’t sure any longer if he really _was_ the same man. It was a foolish thing, but she almost wished he would snap her head off and sigh in vexation the way he always did.

Lost in her thoughts as she was, before Ryder knew it she was climbing out of a narrow vent that was in sight of Techiix. Desperate for the beckoning warmth, she tried picking up the pace and almost went sprawling as a result, but again, Evfra was there to catch her arm.

It was _ridiculous_ ; six hundred years and a galaxy away from home and she felt like a character in a romance novel with a doubtful plot and frequent, excruciating beach scenes. Of course, the beaches on Voeld were more likely to be icy deathtraps and Evfra was no tall, dark and handsome mystery man, but her grateful feelings for keeping her alive and safe on their harrowing journey made her feel very warmly towards him and that in turn made her feel foolish. Suddenly the subtle change in their interactions gave her an idea; maybe she _could_ make up for her mistake, heal at least a little of his sorrow; hopefully enough to keep him going until he could forgive and forget.

Techiix inched closer slowly and Ryder briefly daydreamed of gliding closer in the snug cabin of the Nomad. She fixed her eyes on her feet and concentrated on each step after a while; time seemed to pass faster that way and anything that took her mind off her body was welcome, though it still seemed a much too long journey anyway. Then, _finally_ , they were walking past the watchful eyes of the angara posted outside and she and Evfra stepped into a wave of heat that actually brought a whimper of relief from Ryder before she could stop herself.

“Is something wrong?” Evfra asked.

Ryder laughed. “I’ll be fine – just give me a minute to catch my breath,” she said, sucking in the warmth into her lungs. Then, she strolled closer to one of the angara’s precious heat lamps and _bathed_.

_Life support is online,_ SAM reported.

Life did indeed seem to rush through her, though her aches and pains didn’t really dwindle that much; still, it was a relief to finally feel like something other than a block of ice. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Evfra prepare to leave her there and she hobbled after him as quickly as she could, falling in step for a moment before lightly touching him on the shoulder to stop him when they neared an open door. Now that blessed warmth was returning to her again, her legs and arms felt like water, so she was relieved when Evfra didn’t just stride away and ignore her; she doubted she could have stopped him.

“In here,” she gestured into the empty chamber, briefly eyeing the lamp burning inside with longing, and added, “just wait here a moment. I’ll bring bandages. We can’t have the leader of the Resistance walking around like he went through a meat grinder.”

“A… what?”

“Just _stay_ , please,” Ryder said.

“I don’t take orders from you, human,” Evfra muttered, but his heart wasn’t in it and he went inside. Likely a part of him had wished for solitude, otherwise he would have ignored Ryder’s suggestion from the start; right then she didn’t care what his reasons were, she was just glad he followed her instructions. Suggestions.

“I’m not ordering you, but you need to get that patched up,” she replied.

She went in search of bandages, mumbling expected benisons and hasty explanations that got her past anyone she met and somehow she even managed to keep it a secret that Evfra was there, though eventually those who had seen him would talk. The more time she spent in the warmth and light the better she felt, and she for a short time she wondered if being angaran just rubbed off you and she was regenerating as they did; though, an almost twisted ankle as she rounded a corner warned her that her assumption was probably wrong.

Moments later she was shutting the door behind her, closing Evfra and herself inside the small chamber. She extracted her fingers from her gauntlets a little clumsily and fussed with the supplies she had brought, directing Evfra to stand near the table in the center of the room before pulling herself up onto it. After all she had gone through that day, there was no way she was going to patiently stand around while her legs trembled beneath her.

“What do you think the medics are for, Ryder?” Evfra asked as she finally put everything in order and reached for his injured hand.

“Sometimes, among us humans, we share our feelings with people who lived through an experience with us,” she said, not meeting his eyes, and she began to clean his wound. It occurred to her that in reality she had no idea how to treat an angara’s wounds, but she figured that it couldn’t be _that_ different. Plus, the power of the lamp would weave its ultraviolet magic on the blue-streaked skin. “Maybe talking about it might help.”

Evfra remained silent, remarkably placid under her ministrations, though when she glanced at his expression his frown was dark enough to make her avert her eyes again hastily. She wondered what went on in his mind when he looked at her like that; probably passing judgement on her every little move and disapproving of every bit of it, she thought. Or, on further reflection, maybe not. Considering his change in behavior, his expression may not have had anything to do with her at all. If she looked at it that way… It was almost as if two sides of him were mixing together for the first time, now that they were among his people again; the man was becoming the leader, but one needed to release his pain and the other needed no distractions, like hot and cold air colliding. The thought relaxed her a little.

“When Scott and I lost our mother, we talked about it. Maybe your medics do that, but by my people’s customs…” she sighed, realizing she was repeating herself. “Look, I don’t know how angara do this, but I’m here for you, if you want to talk.”

Silence.

“I know you don’t trust me, Evfra,” Ryder looked up at him defiantly before returning her attention to the hand, now winding the bandaging around it. “I know that you think that the Initiative betrayed you, but it doesn’t even make sense! Surely you must see that,” she tucked the end of the bandage under his palm, wishing she had medigel on her. “The whole thing was just so badly executed, there’s no way that…”

Before she could let go of Evfra’s hand and pull back, his hand caught hers and suddenly her whole body seemed to come _alive_. She gasped, looking up at Evfra’s face, shocked at the rawness of his gaze, the depth of his feeling and how open he was in that instance. It was a blizzard on _fire_.

“I need you,” he growled and kissed her hungrily. The touch of his lips on hers was cool and electrifying, sending her heartbeat racing and making her aware of herself in ways she didn’t even know were possible. In the back of her mind she supposed it might be literally electrifying, but the thought was swept up in a current of feeling that obliterated everything in its path.

Just as suddenly, Evfra pulled away and stepped back, angry, anguished eyes fixing on the far wall, hand dropping hers as if burned. Ryder immediately wanted to lean back into him, her desire strongly clouding her mind, but shock kept her at bay. Emotions cascaded through her, uncertainty and confusion prominent among them, but it was _very_ hard to ignore her heightened senses; it was as if Evfra had awakened her for what seemed like the first time in her life and though the senseless wash of raw feeling was suddenly gone, her body _remembered_ it vividly.

“I apologize, Pathfinder.” That was all he said, his voice full of an emotion that Ryder could not put a name to, but the formality was clear enough in his words.

_‘Pathfinder_.’ Now she was just ‘Pathfinder’ again, as if he hadn’t just _kissed_ her? All her combined irritation and fury at him since the first time she met him on Aya seemed to surge through her; he would _not_ just dismiss what happened. She slowly slid off the table to step nearer. “I didn’t mind,” she said before she could stop herself, surprised for a moment at how steady and calm her voice was.

The look he gave her dampened her burning sensations for a moment, so full of those feelings that she felt as though he reached out and touched her soul. His eyes took her in almost sadly, though his desire was still plain behind it all. With one hand he cupped her face.

“I do not pretend to hold your heart, but I _do_ need you, if you would have me,” he said, his voice a little rough, the coldness he always seemed to radiate replaced by an almost overwhelming loneliness that made her heart beat faster with a need to fill it.

“I would, Evfra,” Ryder gasped, and as the last word left her lips his arms were around her, pulling her in without hesitation this time, the burn of his fingers trailing along her spine not searing as before, but slowly building in intensity; most electrifying of all, though, was his burning _need_.


	5. Tears of the Sky

Ryder woke with a start, drowsily wondering what had possessed her to sleep in a place that made every muscle in her body burn and knot in the worst way possible, and she groaned and rolled onto her back to try to ease at least a little bit of her discomfort. The last vestiges of a contented dream were still clouding her mind like a gentle fog, but it didn’t take long for her to remember where she was and what had happened when her eyes began to bring the world into focus again and found Evfra beside her, sitting against a leg of the table with his chin propped speculatively in one palm, eyes staring broodily at the wall across from them.

He was also not wearing a _stitch_ , a fact which simultaneously fascinated her and made her feel a little awkward for looking. Despite the flustering memory of being in his arms as she drifted off to sleep coming into her mind unbidden, she couldn’t help but feel that she was intruding on his privacy, especially considering how grim he looked; it wasn’t an encouraging expression right after intimacy.

“So… where do we go from here?” Ryder asked as casually as she could and felt her cheeks flush as Evfra’s eyes touched her.

“You’re awake,” he said, avoiding the question.

Ryder averted her eyes and began to search around for her clothes; she still felt cold inside and the floor wasn’t exactly warm, despite the heat of the lamp bathing everything in its orange glow. She sincerely hoped she hadn’t embarrassed herself by falling asleep at the wrong moment when sheer exhaustion overtook her and she was beginning to feel increasingly self-conscious the longer Evfra didn’t commit to an opinion on what they had shared. Most importantly, she felt too exposed at that moment, vulnerable in a way that she did not like being while there was still this tangible uncertainty between them.

Evfra seemed to sense her unease, because he added, “I suppose I see what some others see in your kind.” His eyes went back to the wall.

Ryder dressed hastily, beginning to shiver, and let the silence stretch until she had almost all her clothes and armor back in place. Every inch of her seemed to have suffered from their earlier ordeal, her hands and arms were crisscrossed with cuts and she found a few bruises on her ribs and legs that were beginning to purple. All in all, she didn’t feel particularly attractive at the moment, which did not improve her mood, but she was proud of how she managed to avoid dwelling on thoughts of slapping Evfra silly for his idiotic lack of _feelings_ when he had practically swept her off her feet earlier, or the ringing absence of admiration or displays of affection to soothe her nerves, or the casual dismissiveness with which he ignored her now, or his backhanded compliment, or…

Their eyes met again as she strapped the last piece of equipment in place and he very obviously noted her state of dress, as if surprised by it. _Well what did he expect on a planet undergoing an ice age?_ she thought irritably, but nevertheless his look made her almost regret not waiting a little longer. Almost. Cold or no, she felt a little too damp this close to the lamp with all her armor on to trap the moisture in, but at least she no longer felt like her soul was bared before the insufferable man. She wished she didn’t have flashbacks of tender kisses along her neck or his almost rough, passionate embrace every time she looked at him. Clearly _he_ didn’t feel at a disadvantage in his undress, nor did he seem to be plagued with such memories as he continued to just sit there without even a hint of embarrassment.

“Angara choose partners with serious intentions usually,” he said finally, and for a wonder he sounded uncharacteristically hesitant. His eyes were still like glaciers, though the more she studied them the more she realized that there was something different in the _way_ he looked at her. It wasn’t warmth, but it was… a familiarity?

Ryder thought she knew why he sounded that way, though. Relief surged in her, but she was startled by how much his unspoken rejection hurt. She hastily composed her face and tried to let go of the inevitable feelings of inadequacy, irritated at herself for feeling them in the first place. It _wasn’t_ about her personally, she was sure; it still stung that apparently he didn’t find her irresistible enough to forego this part of the conversation, though. Not that she had expected anything else; she just couldn’t imagine it going any other way.

“I cannot have a family again,” Evfra continued. Not exactly the gentlest way to put it, but it at least it was some consolation that there seemed to be a definite hint of regret in his eyes. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on her part, fulfilling a need to mend the laceration his words striped across her ego.

“It’s fine,” she replied stiffly, pressing her lips together to keep the building lump in her throat from putting a betraying quaver in her voice. She didn’t want him to misunderstand and think that she wanted more from him, after all. After a deep breath, she felt it was safe to speak again. “It was a one-time thing. You needed an outlet, and I suppose so did I.”

“Good,” Evfra said, finally standing. He stepped closer to her and unexpectedly ran a tender finger down her cheek. “Do not mistake this as a lack of desire for you,” he continued, bluntly as ever, “I know your heart is elsewhere and on my part I cannot let myself be distracted. The Resistance _needs_ me. They are my only family and I cannot, I _will_ not, give them anything less than my whole being, for the sake of my fighters and for all angara everywhere.”

Ryder quivered, fighting sudden hot tears of mingled despair and rage and she pulled away from him, turning her face away to hide it and he didn’t try to stop her. _Why_ did he _do_ that? It was bad enough that she was reacting like a schoolgirl turned down by her first crush; she wasn’t even sure if she _liked_ Evfra at all in the first place.

“I think you made that pretty clear already,” Ryder replied stonily, though she tried to moderate her tone. She grimaced, concentrating on one spot away from him as she struggled to regain control over herself, trying to blink the tears back without letting a single one fall while keeping up the appearance that she was just fine with it all. She _was_ fine with it all, she didn’t expect or want a… _relationship_ with him; she did wish he would stop talking about not wanting it, though.

Well, perhaps it was a lie that she didn’t like him; he _had_ put notions in her head before anything happened between them – but they had all been harmless fancies with no possibility of realization. Now that they had crossed over that threshold, she found she had no idea where they stood or how she was supposed to act. How _did_ you keep a professional tone with someone you experienced cathartic passion with and ignore how unexpectedly fulfilling it was? No one had ever needed her like that before and even if what had happened was just a physical thing, the fulfillment had certainly been an emotional one. At least, that’s what Ryder felt she had poured herself into.

“Take me back to Aya,” Evfra said, “I’ve been away long enough.” He began dressing and, despite herself, Ryder couldn’t help but watch out of the corner of her eye. She was ready to admit she was a little taken with the way his shirt hung off his shoulders, crumpled and half-donned as it was. She felt a little calmer now that it seemed their conversation about what had happened was conclusively over; if he was changing the subject, there was nothing more to say.

“Any chance the Resistance could lend us a shuttle to get back to the Nomad?” Ryder asked, trying for briskness. She really didn’t relish the idea of braving Voeld’s climate again so soon after escaping it and though their brief time in Techiix was restorative, her body definitely had a ways to go before she could push it again.

“Those shuttles have important work to do, not carry you around for your leisure when you can walk,” he replied disapprovingly.

Ryder smiled. It was comforting to hear him his old, gruff self. “I had to try,” she said and the remark provoked a grunt from him.

When their eyes met again though, she saw again that familiarity, only now it struck her as an unquenched thirst for connection when he looked at her. Something profound had changed between them irrevocably and no light-hearted jabs at him would take that away. She wasn’t sure if she regretted that or not. That look did make her a little angry at him, though; if he was going to keep his distance, he should moderate his eyes and not make her squirm with uncertainty every time they met hers.

They left the room behind and from the moment they stepped outside Evfra’s whole manner changed. He radiated calm confidence and he seemed to have regained an ineffable equilibrium she hadn’t seen in evidence since they left Aya behind and their misguided ‘mission’ began. He acknowledged everyone that called out to him, but his long strides did not leave room for conversation, for which Ryder was thankful. She wasn’t prepared to face angaran honesty if any of them happened to notice and ask why she and Evfra had been closeted together for such a long time.

“Evfra,” Ryder broke the silence, “before we go back to Aya, maybe we should track down that Roe—uh, the angaran who lead us to the cave,” she amended hastily, partly not wanting to be overheard and partly not wanting to antagonize the Resistance leader. She remembered that he didn’t believe that the man they had met was a Roekaar, though she herself was convinced beyond a doubt. Evfra would see reason, but she didn’t think she had the leverage to convince him otherwise just yet.

“We’re done with that. You stay if you want to, but I am needed on Aya,” Evfra said with a finality that left no room for debate.

Ryder went on anyway, undeterred. “Isn’t it worth it to just _check_? He was poking around the very device which led us into a trap, you can’t call that coincidence. Not to mention that _he_ was the one who shouted that name to you.”

Evfra sighed vexedly. “Very well, I will send a team to find him. Do not ask any more than that.”

“Fine,” Ryder said with relief. “I guess I’ll just… hang around headquarters to hear the results of that then,” she glanced at him sideways to catch his reaction, but beyond an ever so subtle twitch, he did not react at all.

Ryder thought the time of day must have changed, but to her eyes Voeld’s bleak skies were perpetually the same grim shade of gray no matter what hour it was. At least there was light enough to see; the road to reach the Nomad wasn’t exactly treacherous, but her footing was still far from steady. Somehow she managed not to slip every five steps and be faced with coming into physical contact with Evfra again and again; it did happen a few times, and each occasion left her trembling worse from memories than the cold. She wasn’t sure she could bear much more of that without tossing dignity to the winds and admitting that she wasn’t sure she was through with him yet, and as soon as that thought occurred to her, she decided that the man or the cold, or both, had simply addled her brains. It certainly was an uncomfortable realization.

They made the journey in silence and at least on Ryder’s part, she spent the time mulling over how to convince Evfra to pursue the investigation of the Roekaar, especially to clear the Inititative’s name beyond any doubt. She thought she must have helped the Resistance leader dodge the emotional harm intended for him by helping him release those feelings – thinking of it that way made her giddy, pleased and mortified all at once – but she was sure that there was more to this scheme than what they had encountered already. Besides, she truly wanted to punish the one responsible for using his own mother as a tool to break him in the first place.

Absorbed in thoughts of how to phrase her argument to Evfra and the brief, wistful daydreams of their time together which intruded into those thoughts, it seemed like no time at all that they were climbing into the Nomad and heading for the Tempest. The way her knees trembled and almost buckled as soon as she bent them to climb inside was a rude reminder that she was far from recuperated. In comparison to their trek across the almost seamless white expanse to where they had parked what seemed like an age ago, the portion of the journey travelled in the Nomad felt almost unreal as they glided effortlessly to the ship. When they finally rolled aboard the Tempest and climbed out, it occurred to Ryder that Evfra hadn’t barked any lurid instructions at her about hiding his presence; _she_ wasn’t about to bring it up, though.

Being home again was sweeter than she expected, as if somehow the universe righted itself and she could properly sort out all the experiences she had gathered planetside. She immediately instructed Kallo to take them up and set a course for Aya over the comm, already immersed in fantasizing about a shower. The blood and sweat lost its charm very quickly, although she rather enjoyed Evfra’s lingering moonkissed scent clinging to her here and there, as if he had laced ambrosial snowy flowers through her hair and across her skin, masking everything else; perhaps getting rid of that reminder of their time together would help soothe the inexplicable hollowness she felt knowing it wouldn’t happen again.

Everything seemed to be going remarkably smoothly and she was almost sure she would be able to reach her quarters and seclude herself from everyone without having to talk to anyone – maybe even sort out her feelings if she was lucky – but as fate would have it, no one was where she expected them to be; their passage did not go unnoticed.

“Welcome back Ryder – Evfra!” Suvi said in feigned surprise, emerging from the Med Bay and passing them by. “It is a pleasure to have you aboard. I had no idea you were on Voeld.” She exchanged a smirk with Lexi over her shoulder, who was standing behind in the Med Bay’s doorway.

Ryder groaned, closing her eyes.

Evfra nodded to the science officer in sour acknowledgement without saying a word and Ryder wasn’t sure if he caught her mocking tone or not; she couldn’t tell by his reaction, since that expression seemed to be the default one he greeted everyone with. Then, to her horror, he headed straight for her quarters. Ryder practically scampered after him, hissing for him to stop, which he ignored. As they passed Lexi, she gave Ryder a friendly smile and a _very_ speculative look and Ryder could feel her inquisitive eyes on their backs as they disappeared into the Pathfinder’s quarters. Evfra stopped once he was inside, examining her furniture disapprovingly, eyes travelling from couch to bed and everything in between.

“Evfra, you _definitely_ can’t stay in here,” Ryder said as soon as the doors shut behind her, mortified.

“Why not?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Well, they’re _my_ quarters. I want to change and…”

“We have been intimate, there’s not much more to hide.” He frowned at her, clearly not understanding what the fuss was about.

Ryder gaped at him. “Uh, well,” she stammered, running a harassed hand through her hair. “You’re not hiding anymore, you could go anywhere on the ship, but if you spend your whole journey here they’re going to get the wrong idea.” _Especially_ if she walked out of here fresh and clean; she dearly hoped her face wasn’t nearly as crimson as it felt.

“How is that the wrong idea?” he asked, frown deepening in confusion. “That’s exactly what happened.”

Ryder covered her eyes. How could she explain? He wanted to keep things professional – she didn’t think he was capable of ‘friendly’ – but didn’t seem to realize that even _rumors_ of a possible dalliance would completely change their relationship in ways he probably did not want to experience, if only he knew about them.

“Look, Evfra, you said you don’t want anything between us,” she said awkwardly, not looking at him. “If you start flaunting that you bedded me,” the wording made her blush, but she wanted to drive her point home firmly, “no one from the Initiative will believe that we’re _not_ in relationship. Everything we do will be scrutinized under that microscope, they’ll drag you into conversations because they think I have influence over you and I wouldn’t be surprised if your own people started to think of you differently.”

Evfra made a noise of disgust. “Your people have a strange way of going about this. What more is there to it than an expression of feeling? Even I have them, if I don’t share all of them with everyone.”

Frustration built into prickles of anger; the man was stubborn as an ox. “I would very much like to be alone for a time,” she said coolly, crossing her arms.

Evfra gave her a flat look. “You have an AI in your head. You are never alone. And you don’t have time to sit around here, _I need to get back to Aya_ ,” he said forcefully.

“You’re not very subtle, are you,” Ryder gritted her teeth before finally letting out a slow breath, giving up. “Fine, stay. I’ll be on the bridge.” As she was leaving, she rolled her eyes to the ceiling when Evfra immediately made himself comfortable on her bed, nodding in what passed for approval for him.

If anyone asked… she realized a simple denial would not work, but maybe if she just kept her distance and behaved as if nothing were out of the ordinary she _might_ get away with it. Feeling angry, grimy and increasingly desperate for some time alone, she stalked through the ship to find a secluded corner and Evfra’s haste be damned, but Kallo’s urgent voice over the comm stymied that plan.

“ _Ryder, we’re receiving a distress call. Aya is under attack, the message isn’t clear but it sounds like someone is trying to perform an orbital strike!_ ”

“What?” Ryder gasped. “Under attack by whom?”

“ _The reports say… it’s the Initiative,_ ” Kallo said anxiously. “ _It could be the exiles, but they’re definitely our weapons._ ”

Ryder cursed, punching the wall. “On my way,” she said grimly, flexing the hand she had punched with painfully. She tried to focus on the anger she felt, it seemed to rejuvenate her, but a cold knot was building in her stomach as her thoughts kept straying to how she would explain this to Evfra; and whether she could continue to believe that her people hadn’t been behind it all from the start after all.


	6. Starry Sky

“Please, not that—” Ryder raised a beseeching hand towards Evfra as he picked up the plant on her desk and without pause hurled it across the room. The spray of soil and pottery made her shield her eyes, but thankfully he hadn’t been aiming for her. She glanced at it with a mix of emotion; it had been a gift, a cutting from one of the Initiative’s first plants to survive in Andromeda, and a symbol of the new life they had created in this galaxy.

“How do you explain this?” Evfra demanded, snarling, fists clenched at his sides, eyes burning like blue suns. “Your people have done nothing but meddle in everything you find, _especially_ you, and now you bring me back to Aya only to find _your_ weapons pointed at the heart of what’s left of our civilization?”

“It’s not _our_ …” Ryder began, then stopped and took a deep breath. “They are _from_ us, but I swear to you, it _wasn’t_ the Initiative! The angara are our allies we have no reason to attack you! Please, Evfra, trust me,” she pleaded.

“You ask me to trust you, but you admit that it is your weapons that rain fire on our planet,” Evfra said angrily. “I do not know what other interpretation you can apply to that and _not_ make it your people’s fault!”

Ryder was silent for a moment. “Your fighters have taken out most of them already, if not all by now,” she said.

“That’s _not_ the point,” Evfra growled, looking around for another object to throw. Ryder quickly strode to him to glare up at him, drawing his attention before he could further demolish her possessions.

“I _know_ it’s not the point, Evfra, but I’m trying to tell you that I’m on _your_ side,” she said as forcefully as she could and for a wonder, he seemed to calm down a little, as before. There was a definite pattern here; maybe he preferred forceful women? She wasn’t standing too close to him, but her nose filled with his scent and that, combined with the speculation on his preferences, made her feel almost light-headed with giddiness. She tried very hard to ignore it.

“You’re on _my side_ ,” Evfra sneered. “You are on your _own_ side and you will do anything to keep the angara placated for as long as it suits your needs,” he accused, looming over her with that storm in his eyes.

“I’m not going to get down on my knees and beg you to believe me,” Ryder retorted. “I _am_ on your side, I would even defend you from the Initiative if that’s what is needed!” She sincerely hoped she never would have to prove that. “Take it or leave it, I won’t try to escape justice if it turns out that it was my people behind it, all I’m asking is that you give them the benefit of the doubt and give me a chance to _prove_ it wasn’t us!”

“They’re _your weapons_ ,” Evfra repeated flatly.

“And are _you_ going to pay the price for every person from the Milky Way that a Roekaar kills or injures? They are _your_ weapons,” she said hotly, planting her fists on her hips.

“What purpose does getting on your knees serve, anyway?” Evfra asked, ignoring her question. “Is that how humans apologize? Or is it some sort of seduction?”

Ryder really wished he hadn’t asked that. It was _ridiculous_! It didn’t help that his anger, putting that burn in his eyes, reminded her of his arms yet again. She simply couldn’t fathom why he was suddenly acting like an intoxicant on her every time she came close to him, as if he had flipped a light switch and just forgot to turn it off. Then he trampled everything in sight in a fit of rage, argued technicalities with her and casually spouted insinuations without even _realizing_ it, while she just stood there contemplating his finer attributes. It really _was_ ridiculous.

_Get your head on straight, woman!_ she thought to herself furiously. She glanced away from him, crossing her arms defensively, wondering if she could step back a few paces without it being obvious that she was trying to put more distance between them. There was nowhere to go that wouldn’t make it obvious though, so she resumed glaring at him; the man deserved it.

“You’re not getting out of the question, are _you_ going to make good on all the blood and tears the Roekaar caused?”

“I expect next you’ll want _me_ on my knees,” Evfra growled.

“Your legs don’t bend that way,” she replied coolly.

“They are _not_ our people. But it seems you have a personal grudge against them, is that why you keep trying to convince me that they are behind all this?”

Ryder exhaled in frustration, unwinding an arm and rubbing her temple with her fingertips; the pressure reminded her that she still hadn’t had that shower yet. Now that was certainly beginning to grate on her nerves in the _worst_ way. “Are you going to give me a chance or not?” she asked.

Evfra contemplated her for the longest time. His eyes were still on fire, scar pulling at his mouth in a way that radiated disapproval, the muscles in his arms subtly flexing as they unconsciously tightened with an anger that pulsed through him. Ryder waited as patiently as she could. She had to set this right somehow, but whoever had stolen those weapons had made her job very difficult indeed. Evfra was the key, she was sure; if _he_ believed, so would the rest of the angara. The only question was: could she convince him? It was clear that he assigned blame to the Initiative regardless of their involvement and she supposed she couldn’t exactly blame him for that, but if he only trusted her a little further, just until she could prove her theory right…

“Very well,” Evfra said finally, and Ryder actually smiled. “It would be wrong to mistrust you after bonding. If you betray that trust, however…” he left the threat unsaid, but he didn’t really need to say aloud that betraying him was the equivalent to alienating all angara everywhere; not for political reasons, but because it apparently violated a sacred trust.

Ryder’s smile froze in place. “Among humans,” she replied frostily, “it is customary to _not_ mention such things after it is agreed that nothing more is to happen between them, and since you made it quite clear that I am unwelcome in that capacity, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t keep _bringing it up_.” Mostly, though, she felt mortified by how _good_ it felt to hear him say that they had bonded. Mortified, and also frustrated to tears.

Evfra blinked at her and actually looked a little hurt, which made her confused and angry at him all at once. The man looked _hurt_ ; she didn’t even know he was capable of it! She wanted to slap sense into him, then demand an explanation and – she thought guiltily – kiss him senseless until the look faded from his eyes.

The ship rocked.

“What happened?” Ryder asked, looking around in alarm. “SAM? Kallo?”

“ _Ryder, I think you’d better come up here,_ ” Suvi’s voice said over the comms.

_Pathfinder, I am detecting angaran ships firing at us,_ SAM’s voice said in her head.

“Wonderful,” Ryder muttered, already dashing outside. Evfra followed her out and up onto the bridge, which she wasn’t thrilled about, but she was not about to stop and have yet another argument with him about staying in her quarters. Particularly since the obnoxious man would probably point out that she had practically _begged_ him to leave them yesterday. “What’s going on?” she asked, striding up to the galaxy map.

“We’re being shot at!” Kallo exclaimed, sounding indignant.

“The angara opened fire the moment we approached Aya,” Suvi added.

“If they hit the Tempest with their mean little…”

“ _Kallo_ ,” Ryder hissed, risking a glance over her shoulder at Evfra. The Resistance leader was frowning grimly at the ships coming at them, but then, that expression was not unusual for him. He said not a word. “Well? Can you get them to stop firing at us?” she asked after a moment, realizing that he was not going to offer.

“I wonder if I should,” he said, his cool gaze sliding over to her.

Ryder gritted her teeth. “Evfra, _you_ would be shot down with us, you realize that, right?”

“I could have you take me back to Voeld, where I could take one of our own ships back.”

She scoffed. “You wouldn’t lose that much time, not while we’re _here_ already.”

A long moment passed. “Open the channel,” he said finally.

“Open,” Kallo said, giving him a sidelong look that spoke volumes.

“This is Evfra de Tershaav. I am aboard the Tempest. Cease fire,” he said simply. A long moment of radio silence followed; Ryder breathed a sigh of relief when a response finally crackled through.

“ _Acknowledged._ ”

“Take us in, Kallo,” Ryder said, trying to hide her spiking nerves. She found that somehow the open conflict had suited her better; the planet was going to be _much_ worse. “Here we go,” she added under her breath. _But I’ll be damned if I go down looking like this,_ she added in her head and strode away, glaring so fiercely at Evfra when he moved to follow that he settled back – and actually _quirked a smile_. She managed to walk away and through the door with dignity intact, but she was so shocked she almost fell off the ladder when her foot slipped. He _never_ smiled.

After the fastest shower in her life, Ryder finally slipped into welcoming, soft and clean clothes that helped her compose herself at least a little, though she realized that the last time she had really slept had been in Evfra’s arms on Voeld. That had been a long time ago and not nearly enough; now that she had relaxed a little, she was beginning to feel her fatigue clamp down on her ruthlessly. She met Evfra in the cargo bay and avoided looking at him, though from the corner of her eye he seemed to be keen on studying her for some reason.

As Ryder descended from the Tempest, the view of Aya expanded from dusty tiles to the deserted docks, a single wreck smoldering to their left suffusing the city with fattening tendrils of smoke. Her mouth tightened with worry, heart breaking for the angara and dreading what other damage – or worse, wounded – they would find deeper in. Evfra strode ahead as if he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but she knew that he was enraged.

Approaching the inner port, other angara suddenly appeared, evidently coming out to meet the Resistance leader. They were firmly at his heels before they even reached the gates, competing to give their news to him; from what she heard most of it was boasting about how easily they had shot the weapons down once they realized they were under attack by the ‘Milky Way Initiative’. Some glanced reproachfully over their shoulders at her when mentioning that.

“She is not to be harmed,” Evfra instructed after listening for a while, noticing their glances.

Ryder was grateful, but trepidation kept her from feeling too confident in Evfra’s promise to give her a chance; whatever traditions the angara had, her experience as a human did not allow her to fully believe in the concept of… bonding, as he seemed to understand it. Not to mention that she was confused beyond reason about how Evfra could possibly take that seriously _and_ reject her at the same time. _It’s not a rejection if I didn’t want it either,_ she thought, reminding herself that she did _not_ intend nor desire any of this to happen in the first place. Now that it had, though…

Once they were inside, relief swelled in Ryder; the damage wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been, she only saw one smoldering piece of rubble that they walked around. Angara teamed around it, putting out the fires with what looked like practiced ease; Evfra’s eyes lingered on the rubble as they passed it, then he meaningfully raised that stony gaze to Ryder, not saying a word. She breathed out sharply in frustration. When they finally entered Resistance headquarters, she noticed that after a few paces guards flanked her. She looked a question at Evfra stonily, forcing herself to stay relaxed, but her heartbeat raced as she slowed to a halt.

Evfra noticed and stopped, turning to her. “You’re not leaving headquarters,” he said, but all the same he grimaced at the guards and waved them back irritably.

“Am I a prisoner?” she asked, a little more doubtfully than she would have if he hadn’t done that; still, not being able to leave couldn’t really be interpreted any other way. “I came to find out what happened, I can hardly do that sitting around here,” she added. Even the _thought_ of having to sit still and wait for some miracle clue to fall in their laps made her itch inside.

“If it _is_ the Initiative attacking us, I want my options open,” he replied simply.

Tactically smart, she thought, but it hurt anyway. “So where am I going to be held?” she asked, crossing her arms. Slowly; she didn’t want to antagonize anyone, after all. Except maybe Evfra.

“You are _welcome_ to stay in there,” he gestured at a doorway in the opposite direction from his office and without another word, turned on his heels, gathered everyone up with a look and proceeded into his domain.

Ryder closed her eyes for a moment, gritting her teeth before heading for the door, feeling like a compliant slipper. Not that any other behavior would have gotten her anywhere at the moment, it _was_ the diplomatic choice. None of the angara around her appeared ready to force her inside, but she couldn’t exactly say she _wasn’t_ being guarded; the two that had stepped up behind her were standing together a few paces away, not threatening, but very obviously lingering close to her just in case.

When she stepped into the room, however, she bit her lip uncertainly when her eyes found the small cot in the back of the room. The lights were clearly dimmed for sleeping, too. She felt like laughing and crying all at once at how exasperatingly confusing Evfra was to her in that moment, but more importantly, just the sight of a bed made her knees want to buckle with fatigue. Thinking that since she apparently didn’t have anything better to do she might as well catch up on her sleep, she went to the bed and gratefully curled up on it. Drowsily she thought how nice it was to feel like herself again, not quite registering that Evfra’s increasingly familiar scent clung to the bed.

She was asleep in seconds.

 

Hours later, Ryder opened her eyes and felt oddly drawn and refreshed at the same time, the sweet, musky scent in her nose making her open her eyes to hastily look around, wondering if she had somehow… when she didn’t see Evfra, she felt confused for a moment before she began to consciously register her surroundings. It had been a _long_ time since she had been so exhausted that she would wake to such disorientation, but at least it seemed to have been exactly what she needed, because already she felt like a loose coil had been realigned in her mind.

Climbing to her feet a little unsteadily, she ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it, grateful at finding that a small antechamber was connected to the room with a space for ablutions and a tidy collection of salves. She was fascinated, but she was also starting to feel a little irritated that no one had bothered to wake her or check on her at all. Though, the feeling was a far less sharp than it would have been had she not slept; she seemed to have regained a serenity that had eluded her since first coming to Evfra with her findings.

Feeling like a complete person again, she went to the door and opened it, peering out. No guards were posted, though she supposed they were hardly necessary in a place literally filled with armed fighters. She didn’t see as many as she would have thought to find wandering the corridors, however, considering what had happened that day. Heading for Evfra’s office, no one stopped her, which she chose to interpret as a good sign. Once she reached it she hesitated at his door for a moment, but didn’t let herself dwell on her doubts before opening it.

Evfra looked up as she stepped inside, recognized her, then returned his gaze to his table. “You’re just in time,” he said. His office was eerily quiet, almost peaceful with a stunning panorama of the sky behind him, stars glittering like a myriad of precious gems. He gestured her closer. “This just came in, I thought you would like to see it first,” he handed her a datapad that had been lying at the side of the table.

“You’re letting me read it first?” Ryder asked quizzically.

Evfra frowned at her. “You want to prove yourself, well now is the chance.” He crossed his arms and stared at her expectantly. He still seemed convinced that whatever was on the datapad would prove her wrong; she very much wanted to deny him that satisfaction, but at the same time it took an effort to lower her eyes to it. After all, _she_ could be dead wrong, too, and at the moment she didn’t think she would survive that.

_The suspected angara was found on Voeld with a dagger in his back, the markings indicated that it was a Roekaar blade,_ SAM translated.

Ryder let out a long breath, not realizing she had been holding it. “He was killed by a Roekaar blade,” she said, looking up at Evfra.

“It seems so,” he said stiffly, frowning, but his eyes were troubled.

“You _did_ read it before me, didn’t you,” Ryder asked shrewdly.

Evfra nodded. “I had to see your face as you read it,” he said. For an instant she thought he meant that more ways than one, but his expression immediately walled off her scrutiny when he realized she was considering him in turn.

“So, where do we go from here?” she asked. _I keep asking that question._ She hoped she would like his answer better this time.

“It still doesn’t prove anything conclusively,” he turned away and walked to the windows, leaning palms against the pane. “But it does cast enough doubt that I cannot ignore it. We will follow your theory and see where it goes.”

Ryder stepped up beside him, trying not to smile. “I promise, you won’t regret it.”

“We’ll see,” he replied skeptically.

She watched him again, now that he wasn’t focused on her. He seemed composed, at home in familiar surroundings, but the way his eyes studied Aya’s landscape seemed to be a little haunted. She still wasn’t sure if their intimacy had taught her how to read those feelings or if he simply had unintentionally opened towards her in a way he hadn’t with others; either way, she was glad she had at least a few hints to understand him better. Her eyes went to the sweep of stars and drank them in, feeling as though a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders and she took a deep breath, relishing the cool evening air.

Evfra, on the other hand, must have still felt as though he had somehow let his people down for being gone from Aya when the attack happened. On Voeld, the Resistance’s greatest strength in its structure was a hindrance to him in fighting against the enemies who had been bold enough to attack his headquarters; she was beyond feeling guilty about her part in that, after all she had been played as much as he had. Regardless, he had enough burdens without feelings of guilt or powerlessness, especially so soon after their discovery on his homeworld.

Strained though their relationship towards one another was, she felt a need to show her support, so with a skipping heartbeat she lightly put a comforting hand over his. It was meant to be a gesture of solidarity and sympathy, but she had pricked herself on that needle before with him and she was ready to draw back instantly. To her surprise, however, he gripped her hand in return and turned to her slightly, staring down at her with eyes like silvery moons.

Looking up at him, Ryder felt sure in an instant that he would kiss her again, her heart raced in anticipation, but instead he let go of her hand and said, “I do not want your pity, nor do I require it.” His frown wasn’t very convincing.

“I wasn’t offering pity,” she said, crossing her arms as if to hold herself in. She changed the subject. “Do we have any leads to follow?”

“My people are analyzing the debris, but I believe both the Initiative and the Roekaar would try for Havarl next, if the intent is to weaken us and our resolve.”

“It would certainly dampen spirits,” Ryder agreed. She was irritated that he still included the Initiative on his list of suspects, but she supposed she couldn’t have everything. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as possible,” he replied immediately.

“So, do we lie in wait? Stay in orbit?” While suffering through another disagreement about Evfra refusing to stay anywhere but her quarters, no doubt. She already regretted not sleeping more on that cot, just to store up the hours she was sure she would lose.

“Neither,” Evfra said. “We will go to one of the Roekaar camps to find information about the man we met.”

“And leaving Aya?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Aya is as safe as it can be for the moment and it is unlikely that another attack would be a success. The element of surprise has been lost.”

Ryder nodded. Evfra glanced out the window, again that hint of uncertainty flashing across his eyes. It seemed that agreeing with him was even better than shouting at him; she thought this had been the smoothest conversation they had had in an eternity. Maybe she could tell him that…

The door opened, and to her disappointment Evfra’s expression closed again, his focus going immediately to the newcomer. Perhaps it was for the best, considering how new this unspoken understanding was between them, but at the very least now she was fairly certain that he wasn’t exactly through with her, either.


	7. Morning Glory

“So… we just stroll in?” Ryder asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly. A small ache was building behind them; that was partly her uneasy night and partly the strained concentration she needed to walk through Havarl’s treacherous jungle without tripping. The planet was absolutely stunning, but it didn’t let itself be explored quickly or with ease.

“ _I_ will,” Evfra replied. “You will stay here. If anyone leaves unexpectedly, I want to know about it.”

_He_ looked perfectly refreshed, of course. Ryder had been right; the trip to Havarl had involved a drawn out ‘negotiation’ until finally they agreed to take turns sleeping and, Evfra being Evfra, he had pointed out that she had already made use of _his_ bed, so it was only fair that he have hers and have it first. Under any other circumstance she would have found the whole situation laughable, but when she had been faced with that moment she had briefly imagined what it would have been like had their relationship been a _real_ one; she began to realize first that she wanted it, then second that she was, for lack of a better word, miserable for never being able to have it.

“You’re _not_ going in there alone,” Ryder said flatly, pushing past leaves as large as she was, shimmering pink mist swirling around her heels as she stepped across an impression in the ground. Its beauty was soothing in the kind of wistful way that poured itself into her to fill the hollowness of her feelings.

“They won’t hurt me, but they will shoot _you_ on sight. I don’t intend to slaughter my way through them, Roekaar or no.”

Ryder blushed. “I didn’t mean…”

“Enough,” Evfra waved away her explanation. “Just stay out of sight and make sure that no one vanishes that shouldn’t.”

Ryder sighed, eyes lifting long enough to gauge where they were before firmly returning to the ground under her feet. They were approaching a moderately steep hillside, Havarl’s gnarled landscape tilting upwards to meet them. From this angle, it almost seemed as if the vines and contorted trees were reaching upwards to snatch at the ledges embracing the sky, jealous of their closeness to the stars. They had landed at night, but according to Evfra, dawn would soon pearl the horizon.

“Maybe if you walk in first,” Ryder broke the silence, trying again, “and I creep along a few dozen paces behind you like a shadow? I’m sure all eyes would be on you and no one would…”

“No,” Evfra cut her off.

“So all my talents will be expressed by peeling my eyes watching the exit,” Ryder said sarcastically, wrestling with her anger at his stubbornness.

“You will _what_?” Evfra asked, startled.

Ryder ignored the question. “And just what am I supposed to do if someone _does_ try to leave?” she asked. “I can’t exactly stop them without getting into a fight, as you just pointed out. Unless you expect me to throw mushrooms at them. I suppose I could do that.” _If I’m good enough to do such a ‘difficult’ task,_ she thought bitterly. That wasn’t what was really bothering her, though.

“You’ll come up with something,” he said, but the way his eyes slanted down at her suggested more skepticism than a confidence in her abilities. Maybe the mushroom idea did it?

“They’re not exactly your allies, either, they could view you as a traitor for all we know,” she insisted seriously. However much she tried to get around it, the fact was that she was a little desperate to find that magical tone of voice that would convince him not to walk in there alone; though the Roekaar’s profile was xenophobia, it was Evfra who had been their target on Voeld for some reason.  “How am I supposed know if you need help, for instance?”

She tripped over a vine where she had expected flat ground, ankle almost twisting out from under her, and Evfra steadied her reflexively. She _wished_ he wouldn’t do that; most of all, though, she wished she hadn’t seemingly lost all sense of her finer motor skills around him in the first place. Though, in her defense, Havarl made even Evfra move warily.

“I’m the leader of the Resistance, they know what that stands for.”

“Who happens to have ties with Milky Way species,” she pointed out.

“I’m not going to tell everyone I meet,” Evfra frowned, sounding a little indignant that she doubted it.

Ryder sighed. “This again… I wasn’t implying that you would! I wasn’t talking about that, I meant your support of us. _All_ of us!” she amended hastily.

“What support?” Evfra snorted. “I have publicly doubted both you and your intentions. I have never declared a formal alliance between our people.”

“Which wasn’t your place to do,” Ryder interjected, but Evfra ignored it.

“And I have never indicated that I even like or trust you.”

“In public,” Ryder smirked.

Evfra smiled slightly. “Now who’s bringing up the subject?”

Ryder cleared her throat. “I still don’t like it,” she muttered.

“Your liking it is beside the point, it’s how we are doing it.” He paused. “But, thank you for the concern,” he added, the icy pools of his eyes conveying a genuine appreciation when he looked at her.

Ryder gave a nervous laugh and winced slightly, feeling her knees turn into a warm jelly. _Why_ did he keep coming up with ways to make her feel like this? The moment didn’t last, though; Evfra seemed to realize that he was having an effect on her and his expression closed, effectively walling her off again. Good thing, too; she was beginning to think that he just _might_ be a wonderful man beneath that frigid exterior. The misery slid back into place.

They were approaching what looked like a natural corridor where the slopes of hills plunged into a narrow valley; the perfect hiding spot for a camp that did not wish to be seen, although the unused lookout opportunities on those ledges bothered Ryder. Had she set up camp, she would have posted people up there before even pitching the first tent, but she didn’t notice even a flicker of movement on the hill nearer to them.

Evfra came to a halt suddenly, gesturing her to do so as well before they would have emerged from behind the tree line. If it could be called that; the vegetation beyond was still quite dense, just not as tall. His gaze roamed over their surroundings until they settled on what looked like a very small cave where the trees thinned but didn’t quite open onto the clearing.

Studying the other hill, Ryder quickly reassessed their situation when she noticed what looked like a container of some sort on one of those ledges. Clearly the Roekaar _had_ taken advantage of the terrain at some point; up there, they would have the perfect view of the clearing leading to the mouth of the corridor. Suddenly Evfra’s plan seemed the smarter option, though the thought only served to sour her mood further. It still bothered her that she couldn’t spot a single one of them, however. They couldn’t be _that_ good.

“Wait up there,” Evfra said softly, nodding to the cave he spotted earlier after he finished his own inspection of the hills. Stone-faced though he was, she could tell that he was as troubled as she was. “You will have the perfect view of the terrain around their camp. It’s the only way in to the camp and it’s a choke point, so if anyone leaves, you will definitely know.”

“Really?” Ryder asked innocently, feigning surprise.

Evfra frowned at her. “More mushroom ideas?”

“No,” she replied irritably. Sarcasm was lost on the man. Unless he was _far_ cleverer than she credited him for. “Evfra,” she began again, unable to stop herself, but he didn’t let her get another word out.

“ _I go first_ ,” he growled.

Giving up, Ryder just gave him a cold stare before moving off to climb up to the cave. Behind her she didn’t even hear a whisper of Evfra, but when she glanced over her shoulder, he was nowhere in sight. It occurred to her that at least she would finally have a moment to herself to think about what was going on between them. Climbing up was merely a matter of pulling herself up onto the ledge before it, thanks to the steep, but steady climb of the hill beneath her feeth and once up, she settled down near a patch of luminescent mushrooms. Looking at them, she smiled slightly at how magical it was that such things existed in the universe in general. Maybe she _would_ pick a few and launch it at the Resistance leader just to see his face.

Her vigil was cut short abruptly however, much too soon; her eyes caught movement from the corridor and she squinted in surprise at Evfra, jogging back to meet her.

“ _Evfra?_ ” she whispered down to him as he reached the foot of the ledge.

“No need for that,” Evfra said in a normal voice, gesturing for her to come down, then leaving the hand poised to take hers. After a moment’s hesitation, she accepted his proffered hand and hopped down. Up close, she saw that his expression was grim. “They’re all dead,” he said, turning back and starting towards the camp.

Ryder was stunned, but she somehow managed to get her legs working to follow him. “Who…?” she began, but somehow she had a feeling that there was only one obvious answer.

“I’d take a guess, but I will let your AI enlighten us.”

The camp looked remarkably neat for a place where so much death had happened. Everything had the chaotic order about it that hinted at daily use by multiple individuals, the shelters had no damage or missing pieces that she could see; nothing to indicate something terrible had happened there, except for the runnels of blue webbing the ground. There was a thick silence across every inch of it that mingled with Havarl’s purplish mist, a sickening parody of serenity. Hastily pushing down her feelings, Ryder stepped up to the nearest Roekaar corpse she could find and scanned it.

_Scanning,_ SAM’s voice said. _The weapon signature belongs to the Initiative._

“Let me guess,” Evfra said, his sudden words forestalling hers. “Initiative weapons,” he said.

Ryder nodded.

“Somehow it always comes back to the Initiative,” Evfra turned away, laughing humorlessly. “No matter where I turn, even when I _really_ tried to believe any other possible answer, it always comes back to this.”

Ryder’s lips thinned. “Would I lead you here _knowing_ that my people did such a barbaric act?”

“ _I_ found the lead, not you,” Evfra retorted hotly, “trying to stop me would have made me even more suspicious.”

“I think I would have at least _tried_ to find an excuse not to come here.”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” he snorted.

“I _still_ would have tried,” Ryder said firmly.

Before Evfra could respond, the sound of a faint groan suddenly permeated the air. Immediately both of them began scanning the area, Ryder with SAM’s eyes and what her own senses told her, Evfra with his silver gaze casting about keenly. It didn’t take long to find the source of the groans.

“Here,” Evfra said, glancing at her before kneeling beside a bleeding Roekaar, still alive, if delirious, judging by how his eyes kept searching around blindly.

“Who did this?” Ryder asked immediately and to her shock, the Roekaar snarled, jerking as though to lunge forward, but barely able to push against Evfra’s grasp as he casually held the dying man back. Immediately she felt a surge of anger, but knew that it was more of a cushion between herself and the man’s obvious rage and hate towards her than an expression of her feelings about the man.

“It’s your fault,” the man laughed, though it sounded anguished. His eyes still searched, but he had at least recognized her voice. “The Initiative… your weapons did this.”

Evfra raised cold eyes to Ryder.

“No,” Ryder shook her head in denial. “No, they wouldn’t do this!”

She felt enraged and incredibly _used_. These people were trying _so hard_ to paint the Initiative as the culprit that even she almost believed it and it deeply frustrated her to know that, had the Roekaar tried to set aside their differences, Ryder would have embraced them gladly. She never wanted any of this.

“They _didn’t_ ,” the man grated unexpectedly. “Do you think _you_ could have defeated…” he coughed, a trickle of blue at the corner of his mouth. “It was… Firaan… betrayed…” he gasped, then went still.

Ryder shivered, a strange feeling settling over her like a numbing shroud. She couldn’t take her eyes off the man, even as Evfra let go of him and stood, walking around her. His footsteps stopped when she did not follow.

“They are your enemy, Pathfinder,” Evfra said in a steady voice, but when she tore her gaze away to look at him, she saw anger in his face. “They do not deserve your sympathy.”

“They were _people_ ,” she said, not caring if her voice broke with sorrow. Not just from what had happened here, but because she thought she finally understood. The Roekaar had tried to break Evfra seemingly at the hands of the Initiative to sow mistrust, even enmity between the Resistance and the Initiative. Would they _willingly_ work with the kett to achieve that aim, though? It was unthinkable, especially considering who they were. Yet they already were willing to go so far, never once giving her the benefit of the doubt or trying to find another solution.

Evfra sighed. “Whoever this ‘Firaan’ is,” he scoffed at the name, “I think he may have done more than what we see here.”

“The man on Voeld?” Ryder asked absently and he nodded. “That name… it sounds familiar,” she frowned speculatively.

Abruptly Evfra unsheathed a dagger from his belt, making her start back in surprise. “This,” he indicated the blade, “is a Firaan.”

“I see,” Ryder said. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind of all the unpleasant thoughts, but the frustrated fury she felt just would not go away completely.

Evfra resheathed the Firaan. “There is nothing more for us here,” he glanced around, dismissing the camp before his back was fully turned to it, but after a few steps away he hesitated and glanced at her. “I will not doubt you any longer.” It wasn’t _really_ been an apology, but it was clear that he said all he meant to say.

Ryder acknowledged the gesture stiffly with a nod and followed him.

They walked to the almost invisible pathway they had more or less followed on the way here in silence, though Evfra glanced at her sideways a few times as if deciding something, but he did not speak. Ryder immersed herself in her thoughts, trying to sort out all the clues they had found so far and trying her best to continue ignoring her emotions. Eventually that struggle took over most of her concentration, though, so she tried to start over.

Before long, however, Ryder began to notice a certain dancing quality to the air around her that summoned her from her reverie and she took her first good look around, slowing and marveling to find that they were crossing what seemed like a small natural shrine. Boulders lined the clearing as if embracing this patch, standing guard and holding the jungle at bay. Wherever she looked, thick vines screened out the path both forward and ahead, but there was a dark light to the place from the glittering soft mist and the mushrooms marching along those boulders that let her see quite clearly.

Her heartbeat quickened, intuition whispering to her urgently that now was the last chance she would have to ever confront Evfra once and for all about what she felt after their… bonding. It still felt irritatingly sweet to think about what that term implied to her; like a precious gem entrusted to her for safekeeping. But that wasn’t what made her pulse race; she felt angry and cold, hollowed out and sick of memories that antagonized her with their forbidden, beautiful power.

“Evfra,” she called out, and he stopped, turning back to her. Something seemed to settle inside her, clicking into place and she studied the gentle shadows softening his face, though nothing could make those eyes anything but nebulous.

“What is it?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I… _need_ you,” she forced out, taking a deep breath to try and quiet her heartbeat. The instant wariness in his face made her fury surge, molten. “I don’t care whatever good reasons you have,” she said angrily, “your fight has been my fight since the _day_ I awoke in this galaxy and you can’t tell me that being alone is a requirement of your job because I haven’t met a _single_ angara apart from you who has forsworn feelings and companionship for the sake of fighting the kett!” It was difficult to breathe from the emotions tightening her chest, but as the seconds stretched the anger seemed to slide into a painful ocean of sadness when Evfra’s face smoothed out; not in acceptance, but in resolve.

“We had an agreement,” he said. “I cannot…”

“Yes, we agreed,” Ryder cut him off forcefully, “and your actions have _not_ reflected it! For that matter, your words haven’t, either,” she added coldly.

Evfra looked away for a moment, but that was all the acknowledgement he gave. “I don’t expect you to understand my reasons,” he said aloud after a moment. “But causing you anguish was never my intention when we bonded.”

Ryder wanted to scream, but the impulse quickly melted into despair. “Just… forget I said anything,” she said quietly, brushing by him hastily before he glimpsed her tears, hoping he would give her a lead while walking back to the Tempest so she could be alone.

“Wait,” his voice stilled her footsteps.

Ryder wiped her eyes and, composing herself as best she could, she turned back around. He closed the distance she had put between them, looking reluctant and angry, until he was standing before her, frowning and curious all at once, his winter eyes studying her face intently. She stared up at him silently, waiting.

“You want this,” he said, not quite asking a question, but seeming surprised and uncertain at the confirmation he seemed to read in her expression.

“You said my heart belongs elsewhere? Well, it doesn’t,” she said defiantly, daring him to contradict her. He seemed surprised at first, but a different emotion seemed to take hold of him, as if he had unleashed something within himself.

Without another word he bent to kiss her with surprising tenderness, as if savoring something he had been anticipating for a time, gently pulling her close; but after a moment, just as if she had electrified _him_ in turn, his restraint snapped, his fingertips on her cheek sending burning ice through her and she felt dizzy with what felt like a merging of their feelings until she felt completely intertwined. When he pulled back for a moment his eyes were alive with feeling for her, his warmth seeping into her aching heart, but before she could immerse herself in that warm glow, his hands, his lips awakened her an inch at a time and that left no room for thought.


	8. Cirrus Ice

“Angara do _not_ keep secrets like this,” Evfra frowned, walking up and down among the mushrooms, lost in thought. Occasionally though, he would glance at Ryder on the ground and a change seemed to come over him; and then he would start pacing again in agitation. The cycle continued.

“But it solves the problem,” Ryder sighed, lying back contentedly with her arms over her head, gazing up at the sky. She didn’t weary of watching Evfra contemplate his dilemma, but her neck and shoulders protested after a while. “We would be strangers in public,” she continued, “no one can use this against you and even if the kett tried to exploit it, I can hold my own against them.”

“The kett are the least of my concerns in this. The Initiative is suspect in _several_ crimes now, that’s what all the evidence we have points to and if I am thought compromised by my own people I may as well resign.”

Ryder sat up, biting a lip in worry. “Evfra,” she said gently, “we _can_ do this. Unless you don’t want to continue at all?” She truly tried to keep every ounce of anguish out of her voice; she didn’t want this, whatever it was between them, if it was out of some obligation on his part and so she didn’t want her investment in the idea of their being together to sway him.

“Strangers in public,” he repeated, pausing a moment as he considered it. “I don’t know that I can do this.”

Ryder looked away.

“I suppose I will have to find a replacement,” Evfra mused.

Her eyes snapped back to him and she stared. “You would… do that?” Her heartbeat quickened, but all she felt was stunned disbelief.

“Do you have reason to doubt my words?” he frowned. His eyes were serious, flecked with hints of mingled anger and loss, but mostly she saw fierce determination.

She _did_ understand. More importantly, she was very much afraid that she realized in that moment staring into those wintery eyes that she loved him; and also that he would lose something more precious than life if she let him do this. A part of her burned to know how _he_ felt about her, with the kind of uncertainty that could only be assuaged by words, but she was afraid that if she ever found out, that would force him into choosing between her and his people.

“No, Evfra, the Resistance is _yours_ , I’m not willing to take that from you.”

He sighed in exasperation. “I cannot lie to my people instead,” he said.

“You don’t have to lie,” Ryder interjected as gently as she could, lying down again to stare up at the edges of the glowing boulders above her. “All you have to do is act like you _always_ do around me and just not tell anyone! No one would dare question you about a matter like this anyway.” She hated herself a little for not being able to bring herself to just end everything here and now and make his choice an easy one, but even the idea of _not_ fighting for this made her squirm inside.

When Evfra didn’t respond, Ryder looked up at him only to find him looking at her. After a moment, he joined her on the ground. His face was hardened by long years of seeing death and defeat, scars somehow emphasizing a wound deeper than the flesh, but his eyes were excited and wistful as he gazed at her, fingers trailing her contours; such unexpected gentleness for such a hard man mystified and delighted her.

“Sometimes I do not understand how you stir such hunger in me,” he said, and began exploring her with gentle kisses that made her skin tingle with delight, savoring his sweet scent and the feel of his closeness. His ardent attentions were enchanting, especially with the gentle mists swirling around them, but unfortunately it didn’t last long; she could see in his eyes that he was troubled by something.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Had this happened any other way…” he began, but didn’t continue.

“I don’t think it _would have_ any other way,” Ryder observed with a laugh. Knowing him and his stubbornness, she doubted she would have docked at Aya nearly often enough to even start to like him, let alone… She blushed at the thought, which in turn irritated her. At what point did someone stop dissolving _every time_ …? Evfra was frowning into the distance, but she noted that one hand still rested on her shoulder, comfortably. It made her smile.

“I will try this… ‘strangers in public’,” he said dubiously, clearly still not liking the idea.

“Good,” she imitated his morose tone of voice, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly as she tried to suppress a laugh at his disapproving frown. “Come on,” she said in her normal voice, “we should be moving. How is it that we spent a night here without any animals creeping up on us?”

“The plants are poisonous,” Evfra remarked and she stared for a moment before stepping away from the nearest boulder. “Not to you or I,” he added, seeing her reaction. “It has a perfume they dislike, ingested it is poisonous to them, however.” With a frown for the glowing boulders, he amended, “though maybe that has changed. I do not know much about Havarl’s plants, nor have I ever been interested to learn.”

“Well, now I feel perfectly safe. Your local knowledge is invaluable.” Her sarcasm was lost on him by his serious expression, though she _did_ notice what might just have been a quirk of the mouth.

Getting dressed as collected as they could be in the middle of a jungle, they gathered their weapons and started on their journey back to the Tempest. It wasn’t far, but even that short journey made Ryder uncomfortably aware of how _damp_ all her clothes were from lying on the ground. She could almost feel it eating away at her, but every time her mood began to turn downward, she would glance at Evfra and, still a little stunned by what had unfolded between them, she would instead begin to grin like an idiot until she regained control again. Once they reached Daar Palaav, though, Evfra gave her a significant look and began to radiate distance.

It had been her idea in the first place, but she was ready to admit that she already didn’t like it. She broke the silence, needing the distraction. “What do we do next?”

“I need more information to answer that,” Evfra said. “I only have full access to all my eyes from Aya’s headquarters, but I suspect that we won’t find any more obvious leads.”

“As I recall, waiting for leads to fall into our lap is what got us into this situation in the first place,” Ryder frowned.

“We were following clues, but not all of them were planned. The first man’s death involved a Roekaar blade,” Evfra said. “It pointed us directly at them, but it also made _me_ doubt. That doesn’t suggest a deliberate act, considering their pattern so far.”

“You still seemed fairly convinced at the time that it was the Initiative even so,” Ryder pointed out. “Still, it does seem like an odd choice. Every other clue has hinted at the Initiative, except that one.”

Evfra studied her for a moment. “Which leads me to believe that he was an exception, killed for a different reason than forcing the Resistance and the Initiative apart.”

“I still don’t quite understand what their game is with you especially,” Ryder sighed. “The direction also seems to have shifted…” She trailed off as they finally reached their destination.

Climbing aboard the Tempest, Ryder breathed a deep breath of the ship’s air, feeling at home again. They made their way through the cargo bay and she was already loosening her armor in anticipation of getting out of them, waving to Gil when she spotted him in engineering above them. Evfra exuded a stiffness that almost made her wince at how obvious it looked; but on further inspection, she decided that it would pass muster. After all, the man wasn’t known for a jovial manner.

“So what do we do on Aya? Besides… gathering information.” She fully intended to pass that time tormenting him with small seductions; he certainly owed her the satisfaction.

“We wait for ‘Firaan’ to make his next move,” Evfra grimaced. As they reached the passageway he paused, giving her quarters a dubious glance, then said, “I will go elsewhere.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Ryder caught his arm and practically dragged him. “You spent _days_ tormenting me with it, you’re _not_ stopping now.”

“How is this being strangers in public?” Evfra protested, but did not pull away.

“This is _my_ ship,” she said firmly. “I trust that my crew is intelligent enough to not speak of this while things are so tense between our people.” Once finally inside, they faced each other and she suddenly felt a little flustered, staring up at him. “I suppose we’re alone, so…” she meant to say they could be more relaxed, but Evfra unexpectedly kissed her.

After a long, sweet moment, he pulled back. “I am supposed to resist that anywhere else,” he said grimly, not looking pleased at the prospect.

Ryder smiled. “I’m sure we won’t get out of practice shouting at each other,” she said.

Evfra snorted, but did not argue the point.

Calling up her instructions to Kallo, and ignoring his mutter that she spent more time giving orders from below deck than above before the comm switched off, Ryder set about enjoying what little time she had left with Evfra where she wouldn’t have to wear a mask of stiff professionalism. They did not talk much, but they did worry side by side, hands clasped as they watched the ship slip silently among the stars.

Distance between the planets or no, the time passed too quickly as it seemed to Ryder and it almost caught her by surprise when Kallo’s voice informed her a little sullenly that they had arrived at Aya. Exchanging one last meaningful glance, she and Evfra ascended to the bridge. This time Evfra gave his name and authorization without her asking; Suvi and Kallo’s exchanged look made her a little nervous that maybe they guessed more than what they should know. Not that she had been terribly circumspect around them and she _had_ just defended them to Evfra, but all the same she felt uneasy for not being able to control that information anyway.

Her stomach clenched as the ship descended to the planet’s surface, but she couldn’t quite place what it was that felt wrong about the situation except that it did. She didn’t have time to ponder it, though; what seemed like moments later, she and Evfra were already preparing to disembark.

As soon as the bay doors opened and they began their descent, Ryder instantly _knew_ that something was wrong. It wasn’t intuition this time, however; angara swarmed over the port, all of them with weapons aimed straight at her. One of them broke ranks and, weapon trained on her the whole time, he stepped next to Evfra as if to protect him.

“Evfra, you are safe! Stars, we thought the aliens had murdered you!” he said.

“The Pathfinder was helping me, not murdering me,” Evfra replied. Uncertain looks passed between a few of them, but most seemed even angrier for some reason.

“How can that be? She is one of them,” a woman from the crowd said.

“Report,” Evfra barked at the man who had joined him, but finding an opportunity to glower his displeasure at everyone until they settled down.

“The damage to Aya was minimal, repairs are mostly completed, a few are still underway. The Resistance is armed and ready to go on your order, other cells have been informed of the situation.”

“The situation?” Evfra frowned.

“The enemy,” someone said.

Evfra looked stunned. “The kett have attacked Aya?” he asked in confusion.

Again, some of the angara exchanged puzzled glances. “Evfra, the Initiative has declared war on us,” another man from the crowd said.

“Impossible,” Ryder said flatly, but raised her hands to show she was no threat as one of them stepped up to her and pointed her down with the tip of his weapon. The hostility in his eyes was shocking, and she found herself wondering if she was wrong and if something had indeed happened while they were on Havarl.

They made their way through the port towards the Resistance headquarters. Ryder was getting a little tired of walking that gauntlet with suspicious, curious, hostile and fearful gazes all around her, as if the first time she had stepped off the Tempest had just been caught in an endless loop where she was forever doomed to be the suspicious stranger. This time though, there was an eerie quiet hovering over everyone like a mist that had robbed them of their voices.

Aya itself looked as beautiful as ever, and it seemed that what the fighters on the docks had said was true; not a trace remained of the remains she had seen the last time they were here. Inwardly she was impressed with how seamlessly they managed that over such a short time, but she did not vocalize her feelings. Somehow she doubted the angara were in the mood for compliments.

Eyes searching for Evfra, she studied him while he was listening to one of the men talk about defense perimeters; the man seemed a little confused that Evfra’s agreement with the deployments didn’t garner the level of approval he clearly expected from the way his chest swelled in satisfaction, but the moment was smoothed over quickly enough when the Resistance leader began to inquire about specific details. His calm was attentive and drew the others’ eyes instinctively; in short, he was a leader from head to toe and Ryder was ready to admit that he was good at it. She almost smiled before she caught herself, thinking that this ‘strangers in public’ thing might actually work.

As they drew closer to the now familiar large white doors, Ryder’s steps slowed a little, wondering what they would find inside. Immediately one of Evfra’s men prodded her in the back to keep her moving, making her glare over her shoulder at him, but disappointingly it had no effect.

Once inside, though, they actually moved to detain her, until Evfra put a stop to it with an impatient wave of his hand. In his office, one of Evfra’s lieutenants looked up from Evfra’s table where he had been studying something and as soon as his eyes fell on the Resistance leader, he heaved a sigh of profound relief.

“Evfra, we did not know what became of you,” the man said, and they greeted one another in the angaran way.

“Nothing became of me, Saar,” Evfra said.

“But the Initiative aliens…” Saar cut off, eyes swiveling to Ryder. His eyes were no more friendly than anyone else’s she had seen so far.

“What is this I hear of war?” Evfra demanded, not allowing for any preamble or distractions.

“The Initiative has made its first moves on our borders across all worlds,” Saar said, darting reproachful glances at Ryder.

“Where?”

“Voeld, you know what happened here of course, and now Havarl!”

“I was just _on_ Havarl,” Evfra said testily. Ryder gave him a sharp look; she had thought they weren’t going to spread around where they went and why. “There are no soldiers there nor any movements in the sky, I would have heard.”

“But Evfra! We just received a report that they slaughtered an _entire_ daar!”

 _Trapped._ Ryder almost groaned, but stuffed it down her throat before it could escape. Saar must have meant the Roekaar camp they had visited; clearly the bit of information about who they truly were had been left out. Worse, now that the Resistance was aware of the massacre, Evfra’s hands were tied until he could find compelling enough evidence to prove that the Initiative had not been involved. Whoever this ‘Firaan’ was, he was clever, very much so. She studied the Resistance leader anxiously, trying to talk to him with her eyes but knowing it was useless.

“I want to see that report,” Evfra said.

“That is not all,” Saar continued. “We found Aesa,” his voice filled with sorrow and anger. “He was lying in your rooms in a pool of his own blood. His throat had been cut by an Initiative assassin sent to kill _you_.”

The situation was far worse than Ryder had feared and she puzzle pieces were suddenly falling into place. It made her want to curse; how could she not _see_ it before? The Roekaar lead had been hers, she had insisted that they look into him and then the messenger immediately turned up dead, like a swamp producing a body to inquisitive eyes. Predictably, as if that had been a signal beacon, her instant reaction had been to grab at the opportunity to defend the Initiative, while an obviously flimsy lead had been dangled in front of Evfra which would potentially prove _her_ wrong in turn…

It was all a very neat bundle. Firaan clearly had correctly guessed that the two of them would slip away to investigate, which left him plenty of room and opportunity to manipulate everything, seed the right reports and even leave _another_ body to point the finger. That would enrage the angara and though she trusted them a little farther than humans to not jump to conclusions immediately, they _were_ an emotional, impulsive people.

“What did you do to our people here?” she asked Saar, not backing down when he glared at her for the interruption.

“Yes, what _did_ you do with them?” Evfra asked. For a moment Saar glanced between them, clearly wondering why Evfra was indulging her curiosity.

“We told them all to leave and to tell their leaders that they are not welcome on Aya.” He looked a touch uncomfortable at Evfra’s sudden withering glare, but he did not seem to regret the decision all the same. “You were not here, Evfra, a decision had to be made.”

Evfra nodded after a moment, looking troubled. He did not look at Ryder. “We must find out more,” he said eventually.

“All the reports are here,” Saar took a step backwards to gesture at Evfra’s table, practically groaning with datapads and other objects Ryder couldn’t even begin to guess what they were for.

“Has Paaran been updated on the situation?”

“Of course,” Saar nodded. “She was not happy with my instructions to seal the docks.”

“She wouldn’t be,” Evfra muttered. “Where is the report on the Initative’s activities on Voeld?”

Saar wordlessly picked up one of the datapads and handed it to him. Evfra took it and read it carefully, then picked up more of them, scanning through the text several times. Saar seemed to hover around him, clearly at a loss on how to be helpful but wanting to help anyway. Evfra did make use of him after a while, handing him datapads he had read but wanted to keep apart from the others, presumably for later study.

He was stalling, Ryder realized; he didn’t want to jump to the obvious conclusion and cement the theory that the Initiative was indeed to blame for everything that had happened so far, but he couldn’t keep it up for much longer, she was sure. The Resistance – and it seemed the angara in general – were already convinced of their guilt and there was only so long he could avoid voicing the conclusion, unless a miracle happened.

Finally, Evfra spoke. “This one,” he held one of the datapads up, “details communication between the Initative and an unknown recipient about strategic Resistance bases, but it is all outdated information,” he remarked.

“They did not break our codes,” Saar noted smugly.

“Clearly,” Evfra agreed, sounding a little skeptical.

“What about this one?” Saar gestured at Ryder.

“Pathfinder,” Ryder corrected coldly. Saar glared at her briefly, but his attention was mainly on the Resistance leader.

“Evfra? What shall we do?” From his tone, he was confused; Ryder didn’t blame him, the man’s response to such situations was usually much more… flagrant.

Evfra did look at her then with an unreadable expression. “Throw her in a cell,” he said calmly. “Lock down the ship. They’re not going anywhere until we have answers.”


	9. Azimuth

“Talk to me SAM,” Ryder said, eyes fixed on the white tiles, head in hands as she slowly rocked back and forth on the small bench that served as a chair.

_Do you wish to unlock the door, Pathfinder?_ SAM asked in her head.

“No,” Ryder replied. “We’re playing this game. We _need_ the angara on our side, resisting or escaping would only convince them that we are the enemy.”

_The current situation would suggest that has already come to pass,_ SAM observed.

Ryder was silent for a moment. “Give me a rundown. Can’t hurt to know our options.”

_There are three possible routes of escape beyond your cell, but none of the scenarios present an opportunity that does not involve harming angara. After unlocking the door, the first path is directly through headquarters. I estimate a six percent chance of success. The second goes through the Resistance training grounds. That opportunity has a twenty percent chance of success, provided that it happens between team rotations. The third involves a ruse._

“Ruse?” Ryder perked up, lifting her head.

_I estimate a one percent chance of success for that option._

Ryder grimaced. “Aren’t you a bundle of joy.” She sighed. “I’m not liking these odds. Are you sure the ruse wouldn’t work?”

_The probability of success is even lower if you wish to avoid antagonizing the angara,_ SAM added.

“So… we just _wait_ ,” Ryder’s head fell back into her hands. “Alright, then let’s make use of the time. What do you think, SAM? Grand anti-Milky Way conspiracy? Kett sympathizers? The ‘Invisible Hand of Fate’ come to torment me?”

_It is likely that the Roekaar involvement is only a part of the conspiracy,_ SAM said.

“So conspiracy it is.”

_The presence of kett on Voeld is not uncommon and their involvement may have been incidental; however the Roekaar posing as a prisoner did not appear surprised when they ambushed us. That suggests at least a degree of conspiracy._

“He _wasn’t there_ the first time we went, I’m sure of it,” Ryder said.

_I did not detect any prisoners at the time. However, the facility was connected to passageways beneath the ground that my scans could not penetrate. It is not outside the realm of possibilities that he could have been held there and found his way out._

“It’s still damned unlikely that without us sweeping out every single kett that he would have escaped on his own. Unless they abandoned him down there. Even so, I can’t believe he wouldn’t have been restrained or locked away in some fashion.”

_The probability of an unaided escape is low,_ SAM agreed.

“So what is the missing piece of the puzzle?”

_There is one consideration that has not been mentioned before._

“And what’s that?”

_Divide and conquer. The kett used a similar tactic to turn the angara against each other before they were revealed to be the true enemy._

Ryder cursed. “Of course! It makes sense… but why would this Firaan be _helping_ them? Or does he even exist? Maybe we’ve stumbled upon a new faction?”

_Firaan’s identity is unclear; however, the evidence suggests a single angara, otherwise the dying Roekaar would likely have phrased his last words differently._

“Okay,” she said. “So then what, a kett sympathizing Roekaar?”

_It is not outside the realm of possibilities. Firaan may have infiltrated the Roekaar to further an agenda._

Ryder groaned. “I think I need to bring in the whole team on this one. Whoever this Firaan is, he clearly has the means and the connections to pull all this off and I need ears to the ground. He could be anywhere and could be _anyone_.”

_If Evfra is no longer accompanying us, the profile of secrecy will change. Ryder, may I ask about your relationship?_

Ryder sighed. “I was afraid you were going to ask. What do you want to know?”

_The angaran ability to link telepathically was not complete due to your divergent physiology; however, a rudimentary connection was established. May I ask if you feel any different from the experience?_

“There was?” she asked in surprise. “Well, that would explain a few things. I’m not sure, I mean, I never thought about it… I don’t _think_ I’m different, although I have noticed I can sort of read him better. Maybe?” It occurred to her that she hadn’t really considered SAM’s presence in her head during the times she had been with Evfra; she wasn’t sure how to feel about that, although she wasn’t as uncomfortable as she thought she would be. SAM was just a natural part of her by now. Still…

_I see. Thank you for your answer._

Footsteps made her sit up straight, eyes on the door. For a moment she thought they would pass her by and she thought she was going to crawl out of her skin just _waiting_ for something to happen, but to her relief, the footsteps abruptly halted before her cell. She stood up, nervously wondering if someone had come to march her away to some elaborate execution that not even Evfra could stop.

No matter what lurid ideas she had about who was behind the door though, when it finally opened somehow she _hadn’t_ expected Evfra himself to be the one standing there, eyes like silvery clouds taking her in with a quick look that suggested he was reassuring himself that she was fine; immediately she was assaulted by butterflies in her stomach.

“Do I get a trial?” she asked, forcing her voice into neutrality, in case there was anyone else around behind him.

Evfra crossed his arms, frowning at her dubiously. “I hope you have a backup plan.”

“ _Me?_ ” Ryder asked, mimicking his gesture. She wished she didn’t feel so ridiculously pleased to see him and tried to focus on her anger instead; all the same, she couldn’t help but drink in that strong, severe aura he projected. “So throwing me in a cell didn’t pan out, huh?” Well, she _was_ a little angry at him for that, even if her mind knew it had been necessary.

Evfra grimaced. “You know I had no choice.”

“I can’t get out of here without your help,” Ryder said. “SAM could _maybe_ get me through the training grounds, but not without hurting people. Probably I would end up shot.”

“Not an option,” Evfra said firmly.

“So, to answer your question: no, I don’t have a backup plan.”

“I may be able to get your team away,” Evfra said. “But it comes at a price.”

“I can work with that!” Ryder said eagerly, unwinding her arms and stepping closer. “What do I need to do?”

Evfra smiled slightly. He was getting better at those. “The ship has to stay. I can smuggle them out on shuttles with a few people I trust not to give in to their suspicion of aliens.”

Ryder didn’t like it, but it could have been worse. “So the Tempest stays marooned. Can you arrange for a meeting between us before we leave in who knows how many directions? I need to tell them what’s going on and where to meet; and don’t you start with your ‘this mission is a secret’ nonsense because we are _way_ beyond that. I’m sick of tiptoeing around my friends, I’ve been so nervous about giving anything away that I’ve stopped talking to them altogether. It’s not conducive to a happy, trusting team.”

He sighed. “There is another price,” he said, but didn’t continue immediately.

“Are you going to make me beg?” Ryder asked.

“Perhaps another time,” he said. She choked, but he didn’t let her get a word out. “You have to stay here and publicly announce that you will cooperate with the Resistance in whatever capacity we desire.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” she said, but his serious expression made her doubt. “What… _exactly_ would the Resistance require of me?”

“Tactical information first and foremost.”

Ryder threw her hands up and began pacing. “Evfra, _no_. You know I can’t do that!”

“My people will settle for nothing less. If we want to convince them of your good intentions, this is an excellent step in the right direction.”

“You can’t be serious,” she glared at him. “Evfra, I won’t let my people be picked off by angara who are out for vengeance over something we didn’t do in the first place!”

“You have little faith in the Resistance – or is it little faith in me to lead them?” Evfra glowered.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Ryder said hastily, but knew she was only making the situation worse. “Look, you yourself don’t trust all your people with the knowledge of what we learned… how could I expose my people’s vulnerabilities under those circumstances?”

“It’s called ‘trust’,” Evfra said flatly.

Ryder stared at him for a long moment, pursing her lips pensively. “I’m sorry,” she said finally. “You’re right, of course.” Admitting it made her want to grit her teeth and punch something, but the way his face unclouded made it worthwhile. _How did I get myself into this…_ she wondered, thinking back to where it all began. She took a deep breath. “Let’s get it over with. Will I still have to stay in the cell?”

“Not for long,” Evfra said. He reached out and ran a finger down her cheek, as if in consolation.

She savored the gesture and tried to curb her desire for more; she had to remember where they were, after all. “So, can you arrange a meeting?” she asked, trying not to get too entranced with the expression on his face. “To say goodbye, I guess…”

“Yes,” he said. “Come, my lieutenants are waiting.”

Trying not to show her nerves, she followed Evfra out. It took them all of two minutes to reach his office, but it was enough time for her heartbeat to quicken until she wasn’t certain that she could speak without her voice trembling. Inside, she was greeted with wary, hostile faces, all eyes studying her as if they had never met her before. Saar was prominent among them, a small, satisfied smile on his lips.

“The Pathfinder has agreed to help us prepare our defenses,” Evfra said without preamble and Ryder closed her eyes briefly. Although, when she opened her eyes again the look on Saar’s face made all of her troubles worth it; he looked poleaxed.

“She would betray her own so easily?” another one spoke; she didn’t know his name, but she had seen his face before.

“No,” Evfra said coldly, “she has placed her trust in us not to use her knowledge without good cause. We are _not_ the kett, who exploit everyone not their own.”

“Yes, Evfra,” the man said, looking abashed as he studied his toes.

“It must be a trick!” Saar exclaimed.

“You’d better believe it’s not,” Ryder snapped at him. “I have done nothing but accept your restrictions and I have tolerated your mistrust of me despite my offered hand of friendship. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t mean it.” Evfra actually looked impressed at that little speech; she tried _very_ hard not to glow.

“Clearly you know us well enough to manipulate us,” Saar retorted.

“Enough,” Evfra said firmly, narrowing his eyes at Saar until the man began to squirm a little. “Compose your questions. I have need of her first, then all of you will get to work shoring up Aya’s defenses with her information. Get word out to all the cells and by the Stars make sure that no one shoots first.” They all murmured their ascent, dispersing. “Come,” he added to Ryder and she followed him. They left the Resistance headquarters and headed for the docks.

“Nicely done,” she said after a while, noting as she looked over her shoulder that no one was following them to guard her.

“It is temporary,” he said. “Now they are testing you. If I can take you to your ship and you come back, you will have won a little respect. If you tell them everything they want to know, you might even win a little trust.”

“So I have a long way to go before I can sleep outside the cell,” Ryder remarked. Evfra gave her an exasperated look, but it seemed a mix of his usual gruffness and a newfound fondness that she found endearing.

Minutes later they were aboard the Tempest and suddenly Ryder felt like she maybe would have rather stayed in her cell and just ignored the entire situation. She had requested that the team meet her in a few minutes, but she had a call to make first; Evfra had elected to wait for her in her quarters. It was more a territorial gesture than anything else this time; angara were stationed both outside and inside the Tempest, all of them watching her suspiciously as if it wasn’t her ship to begin with, so it only made sense that the Resistance leader would symbolically take control by taking over the Pathfinder’s space. Though, she thought the bridge might have been a better choice if that had been the _only_ thing he aimed for. Butterflies again.

Establishing the vid connection, the image of Director Tann materialized next to her in seconds. “Director Tann,” she said in way of greeting.

“RYDER! What is _going on_? What _have_ you done?”

“I haven’t done anything,” Ryder said. “I don’t have much time to talk, so please just listen. The Initiative is being set up and I’m doing everything I can to clear our name, but I need you and the others to keep your heads and not do anything drastic. The angara are still our allies whether they realize it or not and I want to make sure that…”

“Ryder, we’re not prepared for a war, the kett already have us preoccupied beyond the limits of our resources – whatever you did to make the angara angry, undo it quickly, I don’t want the details, just find the path out of this situation, _Pathfinder_!”

“That’s my goal,” Ryder replied, gritting her teeth. “But I need your promise that you won’t take any action against them.”

“My word will not prevent others from reacting, particularly the _krogans_ ,” his voice dripped with derision. “This is a disaster! One day our diplomats who were supposed to be our eyes on Aya suddenly showed up on our doorstep without a _word_ of explanation, now Addison is demanding more protection for Podromos which we don’t have and Kesh….”

“ _Director,_ ” Ryder cut in firmly. “Figure out the politics, that’s _your_ job. Just make sure that everyone is too occupied with each other while I fix this.”

Tann frowned, disliking her tone, but he sighed and nodded. “Best of luck – for all our sakes you had better succeed.” He cut off the link. Ryder rolled her eyes.

“So, we’re _finally_ doing something?” Vetra’s voice made Ryder turn, more than a little relieved to hear the light tone from the turian as she walked up the stairs to join her.

“About time,” Drack followed.

“This is going to be interesting,” Jaal said. “I met Evfra on the way here. I have never seen him in such a good mood.” Ryder stared at him for a moment. Good mood? Well, she supposed Evfra wasn’t exactly as standoffish and cold as he was before, but… he still had a face like a stone most of the time.

“That’s his good face?” Liam asked. “I don’t think I want to see his bad face.”

“You don’t,” Jaal agreed amiably.

“Ryder,” Cora nodded her head.

They gathered around, falling silent and looking at her expectantly; most of them remarkably relaxed for effectively being prisoners on their own ship. Ryder cleared her throat. “First of all… I’m sorry for keeping everyone in the dark.”

Peebee snorted. “It wasn’t exactly a secret – or, was it?” she looked around at the others.

Ryder winced. Of course she would jump straight to the sneaking around. “I wouldn’t have gone about it this way, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. The situation has changed, however.”

“Yeah,” Liam said, “the glowering guys posted around the ship made that obvious.”

“Someone has been doing their best to set the Initiative up and have them and the Resistance go at each other’s throats.” A few muttered curses greeted that news. “We found evidence that someone posing as a Roekaar is behind it – at least, he’s the one who staged the scenes that have the angara pointing guns at us. He calls himself ‘Firaan’ and our analysis suggests he may be collaborating with the kett.”

“Impossible,” Jaal said. “A Roekaar would never ally himself to them!”

“Which is why we think he’s only pretending to be one,” Ryder said. She took a deep breath. “I… have to stay here. But I also need eyes and ears out there, tracking down this Firaan. Evfra has offered a way out, he can take each of you off of Aya with a few men and women he trusts.”

“Assignments,” Liam nodded his head.

“Why assignments,” Drack drawled in his booming voice, “we should be hunting down this Firaan pyjak by hitting every Roekaar camp we can find! That oughtta draw him out.”

“We’ve trusted the Pathfinder so far,” Cora interjected. “If she needs us to do this, I say we do it and trust her again.”

“We’re not much of a Pathfinding team _without a Pathfinder_ ,” Liam put in. “Or her connection to SAM to help us.”

“ _I will help all of you as much as I can, Liam,_ ” SAM said.

“I suppose that’s good enough for me,” he replied.

“You’re my team for a reason,” Ryder said. “You’re all the best in your own fields and right now I need that confidence. Please, guys, help me out here.”

“We need to work on your speeches,” Cora smiled, wincing a little.

“What did this Director Tann of yours say? I thought I heard his voice,” Jaal asked.

“Not much,” Ryder said. “As usual. Nothing helpful, but I think he will keep the Nexus occupied with their own problems while we sort this out.”

“That would be wise,” Jaal nodded approvingly. “The angara will not trust you again if you begin to behave aggressively.”

“What will you be up to?” Peebee asked.

“Sitting in a cell mostly,” Ryder grimaced. “I need to sort of be their hostage right now. It’s a show of good faith. Evfra is where everyone can see him, so there is nothing to suggest he’s working with us and all of you will just vanish, so I should be fine under his protection.”

“Just point me in the right direction,” Liam said.

“Alright, here it goes: Vetra, I need you on Kadara. Work your contacts, Firaan must need resources and I doubt he gets them solely through the Roekaar or any official channels.” Vetra nodded, looking pleased. “Drack, I need you on Elaaden.”

“Let me guess – I have to babysit,” he said.

“Yeah, well… I need you to keep the krogan focused on the colony. We don’t want to antagonize the angara, I want to make sure that Morda doesn’t get any ideas in her head.”

Drack barked a laugh. “I don’t think you have to worry too much about that, kid.”

Ryder nodded. “Cora and Liam, I want you both on the Nexus.”

“Holding back the tide with a candle,” Cora said.

“As much as I respect Director Tann’s abilities,” Ryder said dryly, “I want to make sure that the others have you two there to turn to, people they know have been out here and who know the real situation. I’m counting on your crisis response skills, Liam; people are going to be shaken up by the news coming from Aya soon enough if they haven’t received it already, and Cora, you’re my second in command. That’s got to count for something.”

“Count on it, Pathfinder,” Liam said.

“Jaal, I need you on Havarl. Work the Roekaar if you can. I think they aren’t the only players in this game and I need to find out more.”

“And they would sooner shoot you or the others than talk,” Jaal agreed. “I will do this.”

“Thank you,” Ryder smiled. “Peebee,” she began, but Peebee cut her off.

“I don’t see how RemTech is going to help with this. And that’s what I do. RemTech!”

“I need you to go to Voeld,” Ryder said. “I want to find out everything there is to know about the facilities Evfra and I visited. There is an ancient angaran city under there somewhere and I want to know if Firaan is making use of it.”

Peebee groaned. “The _ice_ world? Ryder, sometimes… ugh, fine!”

“You’re the archeologist,” Ryder shrugged apologetically.

“But you _owe_ me for this. I get to pick a destination once! After we get our ship back, I mean. If we get our ship back. We will, won’t we?”

“Deal,” Ryder rolled her eyes at the onslaught, smiling. “Of course we’ll get her back.”

She went over a few more details with them, outlining each trap they had walked into and the clues they had found, answering their questions and filling in the gaps in the story as best she could while skipping over the details of what happened between her and Evfra. Eventually the talk died down and they all exchanged looks.

“We’re with you,” Liam said, and the others nodded or voiced their agreement.

Ryder felt a burst of fondness for all of them and she smiled. “Good luck to you all – come back soon, if you can. Otherwise you might find a skeleton instead of a Pathfinder, with the inscription ‘Bored to Death’ over my grave.”

“Oh, I’ll _definitely_ be back quickly,” Peebee said, shuddering. They left, talking among themselves.

Ryder really wished they wouldn’t do that. There really was nothing more to say, though, so she descended to the Research Room, then hesitated before climbing down the stairs to enter her own quarters. As expected, Evfra was there and as soon as the doors closed she smiled.

“What are you so happy about?” Evfra asked, frowning.

“I’m getting used to seeing you in my quarters,” she said, ignoring his exasperated sigh.

“Well, don’t get too comfortable with it. Neither one of us is going to see it for a time.”

Ryder’s smile faded. “I know,” she said seriously. “I don’t suppose we have a little time here?”

“Not if you want to make this work,” he remarked, but he did step closer and give her a tender kiss. As soon as he pulled back he frowned down at her with those nebulous eyes of his. “Come. We’ve done all we can here.”

Ryder sighed regretfully and followed him out; she became his prisoner once more as soon as they approached the lower decks where there were more guards. What mattered most was set in motion, though; the arrow had left the bow.


	10. Arcus Drift

“Let’s go over that again,” Saar said, reproachful eyes beginning to weary a little from all the questioning, but still far too full of determination to keep them sitting there till only bones remained. “What is your military strength?”

“We are not a military force,” Ryder repeated by rote. “We have the Nexus, which won’t move. We have arks. They do not have huge guns. We have the Tempest. Again, no big guns. It’s literally parked on your doorstep. There _is_ nothing else we have that could even approach a military force strong enough to threaten the angara.”

“A ship from where your team mysteriously vanished,” Saar pointed out.

“I didn’t exactly break them out from my cell, now did I?” Ryder asked dully.

Saar harrumphed. “The Nexus must be your staging base, you must have more forces there that you didn’t tell us about.”

Ryder leaned back in her chair and covered her face with her hands. Three _days_. They were days measured in Aya’s time to be sure, but still she had suffered three days of endless questions, prodding, glares and occasional peaceful moments in her cell that she was beginning to cherish. Of course, she would have gone mad there had it not been for SAM.

Being cut off from news was a million times worse than the isolation, though Evfra did put in an appearance here and there. He was too busy to do more than reiterate that everything was fine and outright war hadn’t broken out between the Initiative and the angara yet, but he was increasingly recalcitrant with how much information he was willing to share. Maybe he just spent too much time talking with his lieutenants over the information she gave them and he was beginning to see her in that light once more.

“What is the Nexus’ weakpoint?” Saar asked, sighing in exasperation.

Ryder let her hands fall, staring at the ceiling. “Saar, do you _ever_ tire of asking me the same questions? All the others have managed to field some pretty intelligent ones, but you…”

“I will stop asking them when you start answering honestly,” Saar growled.

“But how do you know I’m not being honest if you just disbelieve everything I say on principle?” _Why_ did it have to be Saar this morning that got her interview time…

“Enough, Saar,” Evfra called over from behind his desk. “Even my mind is beginning to ache from your questions.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” Ryder mouthed at him gratefully.

Saar stood reluctantly, grimacing at Ryder and – much more warily – radiating mild disapproval towards Evfra. He did as asked, though. Around Ryder commanders and fighters milled about, some reporting directly to Evfra and others coordinating teams, still others just standing around chatting, but no matter how busy it got there, somehow she felt alone the moment her questioning ended. She had a small table with two chairs set on either side in an out of the way spot near to the Resistance leader’s desk and, so far, every day she had sat through similar interviews with Evfra’s lieutenants and grudgingly had divulged a great deal about the Initiative’s motivations and composition in terms of personnel and objectives; otherwise the angara left her alone.

Evfra didn’t coordinate the time and rotation for the interviews, perhaps because he didn’t want to show too much interest in her publicly, but Ryder was beginning to feel a little hard done by when it came to their agreement, even though Evfra had made good on his promise and smuggled her team off Aya in a way that couldn’t be connected to either one of them. Sometimes she spent time gazing at the angara around her, wondering if one of them had been one of Evfra’s confidants who had spirited the Tempest crew away. She would have _killed_ to hear from any one of her team right about now, so she could finally continue the investigation. One thing was for sure; she had to get out of the Resistance headquarters and somehow get Evfra to come with her. It wasn’t exactly an intuition, but she increasingly felt like events were slipping out from between her fingers the longer she dallied here.

“Any chance of food?” Ryder asked Evfra. She wasn’t sure she was too fond of nutrient paste, but it was made quite clear to her that she should be glad they fed her in the first place, so she did not complain. Idly she wondered who would be interviewing her next and what new surprising question they would come up with.

Evfra grimaced. “That’s the third time you’ve asked since this morning.”

Ryder shrugged. “Guess I’m hungry for… something.” She grinned when Evfra’s fingers slipped on the datapad he had been holding and he almost dropped it. The glare he gave her was anything but amiable, but she enjoyed tormenting him occasionally, guiltily hoping that maybe she might pressure him into giving her more than a gruff word or two exchanged in haste.

A small commotion at the door made them break eye contact and an unfamiliar angara walked in, though he was clearly known and liked by many others, judging by the numerous greetings he received. He had striking eyes that she couldn’t quite get a good look at from that distance, set in a scarred face that was actually close to Evfra’s, although somehow entirely different; she had a feeling this angara at least was a cheerful one.

“Mashiar,” Evfra said in surprise. “Why did you come in person?”

“I bring news I think you’ll want to see, Evfra,” Mashiar said in the accents of Voeld, smiling widely at Ryder as he passed her corner. As he reached Evfra’s desk, he handed a datapad to the Resistance leader. “We gunned down a ship a few days ago. It seems it was Initiative, although we have never seen anything like it before. We had to defend ourselves at the time, but when word came from you that we should have waited… Anjik sent me to report in person, to see what you wanted to do. We didn’t want to send the message so as not to spread the word, so here I am.”

A ball of ice formed in Ryder’s stomach as she listened. Evfra cursed, snatching the datapad and began pouring over it, his expression thunderous to say the least. Remarkably, Mashiar didn’t seem too affected by the grim displeasure radiating from the Resistance leader. In fact, while he waited for Evfra to finish his reading, he unexpectedly walked back to Ryder and took the interviewer’s seat across from her, smiling at her.

“So you’re our alien prisoner?” he asked. His tone was light and pleasant, positively melodic compared to Evfra’s low growl, but most of all Ryder was relieved to see a complete absence of hostility or suspicion in his face. He studied her in fascination with those colorful eyes, but it wasn’t anywhere near the unpleasant dissection that she was becoming accustomed to from Evfra’s lieutenants.

“Pathfinder,” Ryder corrected automatically. The man’s sudden laugh was rich and she found herself blushing.

“Pathfinder, of course! Tell me, are all members of your species so beautiful?”

Ryder stared at him disbelievingly. He was… _flirting_ with her? “Uh… I guess that’s a matter of taste,” she said weakly. “Humans tend to look very different from one another; and other Milky Way species are very different from us.”

“I see! Well, I know I like you already,” he laughed again. After a moment, he reached out a hand, palm upwards. “May I look at your hand?” he asked.

 _Ryder, his blood pressure and heart rate rose when you named yourself as the Pathfinder,_ SAM intoned and Ryder dearly wished she could respond; that was interesting. He was obviously interested in her, yet he reacted more to that name for some reason.

“I… suppose so,” she reached out a hand and let Mashiar take it, puzzled.

She blushed again, clearing her throat as he curiously slid his fingers between her little finger and ring finger, then traced the rest of them in a similar fashion from her fingertips to her wrist. He leaned closer to examine them with eyes that reminded her of a tousled oak tree now that she saw them up close, with a storm of flecks of deep green in a glittering swirl of brown. Suddenly smiling in satisfaction, he straightened, eyes locking with hers.

“You are truly fascinating, Pathfinder! Tell me, now that you have been among us for a time, have you ever considered bonding with an angaran? Or does your species discourage that?”

“I… I’m not really looking for anyone at the moment,” Ryder stammered. The man was _blunt_ ; and charmingly so, she thought with an inward groan. It took all her concentration not to look at Evfra, but she could _feel_ his glare on them and she wished he would put a stop to this before she utterly embarrassed herself for fear of revealing her feelings for the obnoxious man. She very much wanted to snatch her hand back, but Mashiar’s hand swallowed hers, clearly intending to hold onto it.

“So I have a chance!” he laughed.

“I don’t think I’m in a position to start dating right now,” she said, trying to evade. Maybe if she lied and said she already had a relationship? Then he would want to know _who_ , probably, and she wasn’t prepared to invent a whole new person to fit the role.

“What is this… dating?” Mashiar’s eyes lit up and he leaned close enough that she caught his spicy scent. “Do you think we would enjoy it if we tried it?”

“Commander,” Evfra cut in coldly, “let go of her.”

Mashiar stood, but did not let go of Ryder’s hand. “Respectfully, Evfra, why should I?”

“Because she’s not here for you to fling your attentions at, she is here to give us information and nothing more,” Evfra said.

“Does she not get a say in that?” Mashiar frowned, glancing back down at Ryder as if seeking confirmation. “I think she likes me. You do, don’t you?” he frowned at her almost anxiously, yet somehow managed to wrap it in a mischievous grin that caught her completely off guard.

Ryder just gaped at them both for a moment. “I uh… I take no offense in the interest, but I really am not looking for… that sort of thing,” she managed, feeling an absolute idiot. Evfra apparently agreed, judging by the way his eyes tightened as he glared at her.

Mashiar sighed, letting go of her hand, but his smile returned quickly. “What would you have us do about the ship?” he asked Evfra.

Evfra eyed Ryder for a moment. “I think I want the Pathfinder’s eyes on that wreckage,” he said slowly.

Ryder tried _very_ hard not to drum her heels on the ground for sudden joy. She couldn’t suppress her smile, though, especially when Evfra sighed resignedly when he caught glimpse of it. Clearly he didn’t think much of her ability to keep her head on straight at the moment, but then again, she _had_ been cooped up in that cell for an eternity. Her boundaries on what could be considered acceptable behavior changed drastically in that light.

“You’ll be joining us, then?” Mashiar said with delight. “I’ll win you yet, lady Pathfinder,” he said to her slyly. “I’ll be on the docks waiting for you.” He nodded to Evfra, then left. _That_ froze her smile as she realized Evfra might completely misinterpret.

He exchanged a long look with her before he walked back to his desk wordlessly. Ryder’s mood flipped and she studied him with serious eyes, concerned by just how little she could read in his face. Maybe the effects of their bonding was finally wearing off, but she was afraid that she couldn’t read him as well because he was drawing away from her. Again she felt that urgency to get out. _We are getting out,_ she consoled herself.

“My turn, Pathfinder,” a woman’s voice drew Ryder’s attention and she looked up to see the unpleasantly familiar face of Ashae, another one of Evfra’s lieutenants.

Suppressing a sigh, Ryder sat up straight and waited for Ashae to begin her questioning. After Saar, Ashae had to be her least favorite person in the Resistance; apart from deliberately not telling her name to Ryder – she only found it out when Evfra said her name the day before – she was sure that the woman ate rocks for breakfast. From the way her eyes were eternally fixed like chipped ice, Ryder wondered if there was any joy in her life at all; something about her today was a little different, though, and Ryder couldn’t quite place her finger on what it was.

“Evfra,” Ashae said, unexpectedly involving the Resistance leader. She hadn’t done that before. “Is it true? You are taking the Pathfinder to Voeld?”

“Yes,” Evfra said.

 _Ryder, I believe you may be in danger,_ SAM’s voice said and Ryder immediately stood up, trying to be as casual as she could about moving away from the woman.

“And you are going to let her walk around freely?” Ashae demanded. Evfra let out a slow sigh and went around his desk so that he could speak more softly.

“She won’t be walking around freely, she will be under my eyes.”

Wordlessly Ashae suddenly drew a weapon, aimed at Ryder and fired before Ryder could even comprehend what was happening, let alone move out of the way; an intense burn lashed her arm and she staggered sideways, instinctively clapping a hand to the wound, eyes shocked and heart racing as she looked up at Ashae.

Evfra’s hand was on Ashae’s wrist; he had pushed her aim off course, somehow anticipating the woman’s actions. “ _Just what_ was that?” he demanded furiously, eyes burning.

“I’m saving the Resistance,” Ashae said harshly, futilely tugging on her wrist, but Evfra wouldn’t let it go.

“You are _not_ going to hurt her, especially not without my say so _in my office_ ,” he said coldly.

“But she’s poisoning your mind, Evfra! You cannot trust these Milky Way creatures!”

“Have you become a Roekaar while I wasn’t looking?” Evfra snarled, his tight grip suddenly loosing Ashae’s wrist and she snatched it back down.

“I _believe_ in the Resistance!” she said, affronted.

“Act like it, then! Our war is with the kett, _not_ the Initiative – for now. I won’t have you squander our only opportunity to learn everything we can about them because you’re afraid of their influence over me!”

For a wonder, Ashae actually looked down, ashamed. “You are right, Evfra. I acted out of haste.” The look she gave Ryder was maybe _slightly_ less hostile; Ryder knew that was the only apology she was ever going to get.

Without another word, Ashae walked out and to Ryder’s incredulous disappointment Evfra just let her go. Blood dribbled between her fingers, still tightly gripping her arm and she wished that she could squeeze the pain of it out, though at that moment she was almost glad of it; it distracted her from the consuming desire to demand why she had to walk on eggshells around everyone here _all the time_ , but that woman could just shoot her intending _much_ more harm than she managed and all that Evfra did was to admonish her. _Lightly._ Well, perhaps that was unfair; Evfra definitely couldn’t afford to defend her too much, but he could at least have _looked_ a little worried.

“The Roekaar would have an easy time recruiting that one,” she said finally.

Evfra looked in the direction his lieutenant had left. “Ashae would never join them. She may seem like the type, but her family was executed in front of her, one by one. You couldn’t find a more loyal member of the Resistance.”

“Well, her communication skills leave something to be desired,” Ryder remarked, a little tight-lipped. She wasn’t _exactly_ jealous, but she wasn’t overly fond of the admiration in Evfra’s voice, especially considering what had just happened.

“I will take you to the infirmary,” Evfra said, glancing at her arm.

“I’ll be fine,” she said stiffly.

He frowned. “As you wish.”

Ryder sighed. “I do need to clean it and bandage it, but I will do it myself,” she said. For a moment Ryder wasn’t sure if he might not refuse to take her to the only obvious place she could do that, but he finally grimaced and nodded, heading for his quarters.

The moment they were inside, Ryder went straight to the antechamber, filling the basin there with water before tainting it with her blood as she washed. “A little to the right and not even SAM could bring me back,” she vented furiously, painfully extracting her arm from her shirt and accepting the salve Evfra handed to her. “What did I ever do to her anyway? Why does she think I’ve been poisoning your mind of all things?”

“She wasn’t aiming to kill,” Evfra said. “Ashae may be impulsive, but she does not dispose of resources that easily. She wanted to maim you, to keep you from going to Voeld. All she sees is that I trust you too much compared to when we first left Aya and that is a threat to the Resistance with the Initative looming over us as it is.”

“Well forgive me for not adoring her for not wanting me _completely_ dead,” Ryder said coolly, but winced with a sharp breath as she began to dab her wound; it stung something fierce, but thankfully it was quite shallow and wouldn’t require special attention. So he trusted her? That was nice to hear.

“No, your adorations are quite clearly elsewhere,” Evfra said like a block of steaming ice. “The look on your face when Mashiar took your hand – you like him, don’t you?” he asked, not quite accusing her, but definitely disapproving of how she had handled the situation.

“You’re _jealous_?” Ryder asked, startled.

Evfra frowned. “Jealous over what?”

“It’s not _my_ fault that he started up with me! And as I recall it was _you_ who fell at _me_ that first time, not the other way around; so yes, are _you_ jealous?”

He glared; a crack in the ice. “Perhaps among your people bonding is handled differently, but for us there is nothing to talk about if your feelings do not match your words.”

Ryder clenched her jaw, trying and failing to keep from retorting hotly, “I could hardly _tell_ him I’m yours, now could I?”

“You are _not_ mine,” Evfra snarled, and his façade completely shattered. “You cannot be mine because _everything_ I built would collapse the moment anyone even suspected I even _looked_ at you that way – and this fact just _amuses_ you!”

A jumble of emotions surged through her. “I wasn’t playing games with you, Evfra! Whether or not you want to admit it or defend it, I _am_ yours anyway.”

The fury in him seemed to melt into an almost painful wariness; he was clearly struggling between his desire to continue and all the hurt he carried that prevented him from just accepting her. His words hurt, but she knew him well enough by now to know what was really behind them. Though, that did not aid her in convincing him that she did not want another; certainly Mashiar was charming and refreshingly open with his interest in her – but he was not Evfra.

“What do I have to do to convince you once and for all?” Ryder demanded, frustrated to tears.

“Perhaps there is nothing you can do,” Evfra said. “Perhaps I just need more than what I can ever have. But then, from the start this has threatened everything and yet no matter how I try I cannot resist wanting it anyway.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Ryder asked.

“If I only understood why,” he murmured and kissed her, pulling her close.

Energy surged through her body at his touch and she gasped as if a thirst she hadn’t realized she had was suddenly quenched in an instant. His arms made her feel complete in a way that took her by surprise and finally she felt sweet relief when she saw beyond the ice in his eyes again and into his heart. Somehow the fact that they were in the Resistance headquarters, so close to so many who should not know anything about them, made Evfra’s need of her so much more poignant as he couldn’t stop savoring her, each touch like burning fire on her skin, but most of all she was drowning in her own desire to staunch the void that sprang up in her every time she was afraid of losing him again.

Stumbling entwined to Evfra’s bed, Ryder lost herself in him.


	11. Wind in the Heart

“Has the activity around Ja Niihk increased?” Evfra asked.

“Not even slightly,” Mashiar answered promptly.

“What is the condition of the supply lines running behind the kett base?”

“Strained.”

The journey to Voeld _stretched_ , until Ryder was convinced that the pilot of their shuttle had badly miscalculated and aimed them at the black hole instead of Voeld; or maybe Mashiar had planned it that way, from the smug look on his face when he instantly took the seat next to her before Evfra had even boarded, sitting uncomfortably close to her. Mostly it was uncomfortable because his allure was not lost on her, despite her head and heart being so full of Evfra. She wasn’t _blind_ , whatever her feelings were.

Evfra had kept Mashiar talking the whole journey so far, as if trying to distract the man, but the commander still managed to insert small smiles for her and friendly shoulder bumps that wouldn’t have been so bad, if it weren’t for the fact that she was becoming much too used to his presence. His spicy scent filled her nose, reminding her of a desert breeze; it was quite enticing and she was afraid Evfra knew it, too. All her attention went inward, trying to descend into her thoughts, ignore _both_ men and just _think_.

Evfra didn’t say anything about any of it of course, but his expressionlessness was eloquent, especially with the frosty gaze he slid from one of them to the other between questions about the Resistance’s recent successes and failures, kett activity and a sundry of minor things that didn’t really interest Ryder even had she known the context of it; _neither_ would it have interested Evfra normally, she suspected.

Maybe Mashiar suspected it, too, from the way he kept quirking his mouth into a half-smile at every other question. She did notice that every time Evfra fell silent, he turned his head ever so slightly towards her, as if he was provoking Evfra to keep talking by threatening to take up flirting with her again. Evrfra was winding down, though; she could tell by his choice of topics. Supply lines? She snorted softly. Just then Mashiar was about to do it again, mouth opening to ask a question of her and as predicted, Evfra _instantly_ plugged the opportunity.

“What about the facility I asked Anjik to look into?” Evfra asked and Ryder perked up, giving the Resistance leader a pointed look. He knew she had sent Peebee there; she hoped that Evfra took the precaution of giving her a head start and that the asari archeologist hadn’t tangled with the angara.

“Nothing but empty rooms and frozen corpses,” Mashiar said with a shrug. “We didn’t find any device like the one you described. Maybe the team you sent earlier took it?” Evfra hadn’t, of course, sent anyone earlier; but Mashiar would not know that Evfra himself had been there.

Evfra grunted and, remarkably, fell silent. Apparently he had finally exhausted his endless list of questions and the resigned look he directed at Ryder told her as much; perhaps he hadn’t even meant to question Mashiar directly about the facility, but lacking another subject he had posed it anyway.

Mashiar didn’t even wait a _heartbeat_ when he saw that Evfra was finished. “Tell me all about yourself, Pathfinder,” he looked down at her, smiling.

Ryder cleared her throat. “I really don’t think it’s the appropriate time for that,” she said, aiming somewhere between friendliness and flat rejection; it was, on balance, a failure.

Mashiar laughed. “But we have hours to talk!”

“Not anymore,” Evfra put in, with a somewhat badly masked smugness.

“Has it been that long already?” the commander asked in surprise.

“Yes,” Evfra replied, not letting Ryder get in a word. Not that she really wanted to; if he could have kept the commander talking for the remainder of the journey, she would have happily kept silent as the grave.

“Evfra, you’ve been stealing all my chances!” Mashiar laughed. “Not to mention that all this time we have been rudely ignoring our guest of honor.”

“She’s a prisoner,” Evfra said dryly.

Mashiar leaned a little closer to Ryder, almost near enough to kiss her she thought with alarm, and said, “Don’t mind him, Pathfinder. He’s always been like that.” He straightened, giving her one of those half-smiles that suggested they shared a secret of some sort now. “Evfra, you really should try enjoying other people instead of locking them up! I’d recommend getting to know the lovely human Pathfinder, but then I would be jealous.”

“Enough, Mashiar,” Evfra said coldly. “You know I don’t have patience for this, so don’t waste my time with it.”

“All the more for me!” the commander said brightly.

Evfra grimaced, but couldn’t really respond to that without revealing more about his relationship with Ryder; she suspected that he didn’t really _have_ any other examples to draw on. “Keep your focus,” he said finally, a little sourly. Ryder almost smiled at him fondly.

“Pathfinder, what is your favorite thing about Andromeda so far?”

“The angara,” Ryder replied without thinking.

“Aha!” Mashiar laughed. “I am delighted to hear that.”

Ryder closed her eyes. When she opened them again, a stroke of inspiration seized her. “What about you, Mashiar? What’s your story?” If he was preoccupied with talking about himself, he wouldn’t have _time_ to flirt with her.

The commander nodded. “I suppose if I’m to have any chance, I must tell you more about myself,” he said.

Ryder wanted to groan, but instead she assayed a polite smile of vague interest.

“I grew up on Voeld, helping the Resistance together with my brothers, sisters and mothers. I heard that Milky Way species only have one parent, is this true?”

“One or two is I suppose the most common, one mother and one father,” Ryder said a little warily. That had been _far_ too short an answer.

“And your procreation, is it…”

Ryder cut him off with a nervous laugh, realizing that this was going in a terrible direction. “How did you join the Resistance, was it an obvious choice?”

“More or less,” Mashiar said. “I was always setting traps for kett, though I wasn’t supposed to go into their territory, so I guess the Resistance saw something in me from a young age. There’s not much else to do on Voeld that’s interesting and I was never really that taken with Aya.”

“You set traps for kett when you were a kid? For _fun_?” Ryder asked, intrigued despite herself. Immediately she tore her eyes away and fastened them onto a bulkhead, belatedly feigning disinterest, when she felt the whisper of ice from Evfra’s direction.

This bonding was truly interesting… and quite inconvenient in this situation; it was impossible to ignore the tension while she still felt like she could _almost_ feel him and, by association, his increasingly evident dislike of Mashiar. It was also paradoxically her greatest comfort, as if she carried a talisman of Evfra inside herself that kept her calm and centered. Whatever it was, she both hoped that it wouldn’t wear off this time and that it would get a little easier to live with.

“I liked to watch them burn,” Mashiar said, shrugging. “Mainly they wanted me in the Resistance because I could get in and out without anyone the wiser, though the traps I devised are the ones we use to this day.”

Ryder glanced at him sideways. He had liked to watch them burn? She supposed she saw how growing up in the middle of a long and bloody war that held all sorts of horrors might shape angaran children towards such a casual attitude towards violence, and in other ways she couldn’t even begin to imagine as well, especially where angara on Voeld were concerned. Though, she rather thought that anyone from the Terminus Systems as she remembered them might have a similarly harsh view on life, and they weren’t even facing extinction. How must that have shaped a young boy like the one Mashiar had been?

“How about you, Pathfinder?” the commander asked.

“Uh, nothing so interesting,” she said, trying to find a way out of answering any questions. She had a feeling that if she began to really talk about herself to Mashiar, Evfra would lose it. Or, worse, she would lose him. Just the thought of it made her feel hollow.

“Well, I’m glad you find me interesting,” Mashiar said, grinning.

Ryder winced. Did the man _have_ to twist every word out of her mouth into a compliment or an invitation to continue his flirting? The man just _would not_ take the hint; she suspected he would not until she told him directly that she wasn’t interested, but she was still hesitant to do that, especially since the polite rejections she had already tried hadn’t daunted him at all. She wasn’t keen on shouting at him, but then again… She could have said it plainly, she realized, but something still stopped her from doing it.

Idly she wondered at SAM’s conspicuous silence since that first observation he had made of the commander, which made her think that maybe the man was just generally dispassionate about everything, considering all the times she would have expected him to react physically. It didn’t exactly match his amiable personality, though she supposed that was true of Evfra, as well, in his own way. She knew very well that the Resistance leader’s icy exterior hid _very_ deep currents indeed. Very deep… Something of her thoughts must have shown in her face, because Mashiar’s good mood faded to seriousness.

“I mean no offense,” he said. “It is just that you are quite entrancing, Pathfinder.”

Ryder started, glancing up at him and just that suddenly she had an idea. “I’m not offended,” she said, and leaned a little closer to him for a moment, smiling slightly in an almost conspiratorial way. It was the first and only time she had even _slightly_ reciprocated his attentions and it was a very small gesture, but she hoped…

_Ryder, Mashiar’s blood pressure and heart rate are rising,_ SAM intoned, right on cue.

“I am thrilled to hear it!” Mashiar said, smiling again. So; the man _wasn’t_ made of stone. She still wasn’t sure she could trust him, but at least it seemed like maybe his interest was genuine.

“We’re here,” Evfra said, voice like winter.

Ryder looked at him, trying to speak with her eyes, but he wasn’t looking at her to see it; she hoped that the bonding she was experiencing went both ways and he would feel her reaching out to him. He _had_ to understand; but suddenly the whole idea seemed a rather ill-considered one. Well, there _was_ something odd about the commander and SAM was her only guide to figure the man out, but SAM wasn’t clairvoyant. She had to rely on at least a few conventional means to catch him out in a lie, if he was lying.

The descent into the planet’s atmosphere was a rockier ride than she was used to with the Tempest, but the pilot took them down faster; or at least, that’s what it felt like. Ryder kept glancing at Evfra, hoping to catch his eye, but he was clearly avoiding looking at her. Instead, he leveled a stare at Mashiar that should have caused the other man frostbite and just held that stare the whole way down. The commander affected not to notice, examining his rifle, occasionally smiling for no obvious reason and he even began to hum to himself.

_I didn’t just confirm a relationship, did I?_ Ryder thought, worried, not looking at the commander at all. She wasn’t exactly sure what angaran flirting looked like – her relationship with Evfra was hardly that sort of romantic entanglement – and she was painfully aware of her ignorance about social cues. Maybe she _had_ been unintentionally encouraging Mashiar this whole time? Again, she thought that perhaps she should just put an end to it by telling him flatly that she wasn’t interested. _Still_ that feeling persisted that she shouldn’t, though.

The shuttle finally landed with a weighty buoying feeling as gravity seemed to retake control over it and the three of them climbed out, Ryder rolling her shoulders stiffly. She breathed a sigh of relief to _finally_ not be pressed close to Mashiar, but the brief moment she wanted to have with Evfra never came to pass, as the Resistance leader stalked off, growling orders at startled fighters who went scrambling to do his bidding.

“The crash isn’t far,” Mashiar said to her, propping his rifle on his shoulders. “I do hope your armor is thicker than it looks, I hear humans do not enjoy this weather,” he eyed her up and down, very obviously appreciative, and Ryder blushed, resisting the urge to cross her arms defensively.

“Up here I wouldn’t last,” Ryder admitted. Already she felt like her feet were blocks of ice and her veins felt like they were crystallizing, even in the relative warmth of the hangar bay.

“Another shuttle it is, then,” Mashiar grinned. “I’ll go arrange it. Make yourself at home!”

“You’re just going to let me wander around?” Ryder asked before she could stop herself, startled. “I thought I’m your prisoner.”

“Well _I_ trust you implicitly,” the commander said warmly and walked away.

“That man is… mystifying,” Ryder muttered once he was out of earshot.

_He seems to have a fascination with you, Ryder,_ SAM said.

“That’s putting it lightly,” she snorted. “Well… I suppose since I’m guarding myself, I should go perform my ‘prisonerly’ duties wherever they went off to.”

It took her a little while to find them without anyone to help her navigate the caverns of the Resistance base and she was more than a little disgruntled by the time she came upon Evfra, his face bathed in striated blue as he glowered up at the towering hologram of Voeld. She went to him and for once it seemed that he hadn’t noticed her yet; she stepped beside him, one finger gently brushing his. It was enough to make him blink down at her in surprise before he remembered that he was not very happy with her at the moment.

“SAM and I were taking the temperature,” she said vaguely, before he could brush her off. She couldn’t tell by his expression if he understood even a little of what she meant to say, but she didn’t have a chance to try to say more because Mashiar suddenly appeared, as if summoned.

“Ah, there you are! We only just parted and yet I missed you,” he smiled at Ryder. “I have a shuttle waiting to take us.”

“Let’s move and stop wasting time here,” Evfra said, brushing past Ryder and sharply gesturing at Mashiar to take the lead.

Ryder followed silently. Well, she had tried. The finger that had brushed Evfra’s seemed to tingle slightly; she wondered if that was an aftereffect of their time together or something else. She hoped it was a good sign, but she had a sinking feeling that their situation did not allow for even the simple things to work properly between them. Shivering as another gust of wind seemingly tried to rip her to icy shreds, she picked up the pace and a minute later gratefully climbed into the waiting shuttle with almost indecent haste.

This time _she_ chose the seating arrangements by the simple expedient of being the last one to board and she truly wished that it wasn’t so; Mashiar’s expectant smile obviously anticipated her to choose the seat next to him, while Evfra across from him didn’t even look at her. She chose Evfra naturally, but immediately regretted the decision as a small, speculative frown flashed across the commander’s face before the smile reasserted itself. Not to mention that Evfra, for some inane reason, seemed even angrier than before. By the time they finally took off and were in flight, Ryder was glowering quite as much as Evfra was. She was sure had she picked Mashiar, both men would be convinced that she was interested in him or declaring her undying love for all she knew; she bitterly wished that someone would just explain it all to her once and for all.

It really wasn’t a long journey and before she knew it, they were climbing out again into a bone-cracking chill and Mashiar pointed the way up a gently sloping hill. The snow was mercifully less thick on the ground in the area, so their pace was quick enough and they already passed a few pieces of the scattered wreckage a few dozen paces from the shuttle. By the size of the impact area, Ryder thought the shuttle must have been quite high up when it crashed.

The smoke was long gone by that time, but Ryder’s numbed nose still picked up the acrid stench of burning polymer before finally they reached the crest of the hill and she stopped when she finally saw what remained of the Initiative shuttle. Mashiar placed a consoling hand on her shoulder, pausing beside her as she studied the impact area. Ryder glanced at him, feeling awkward because of the cold glance Evfra directed at the man, but the commander’s face was so filled with sympathy that she felt heartless to reject the support. She smiled briefly, averting her eyes quickly so the incorrigible man wouldn’t misinterpret, but by now she knew that he would anyway. He would have romanced a stone and probably he would have expected it to respond, too.

“Why did you fire on them in the first place?” Evfra demanded, fingers fondling his weapon suggestively as his eye rested for a moment on Mashiar’s hand still on her shoulder.

“They were ignoring our hails and approaching Hajarl as if ready to crash into it, so we…” his eyes were on Ryder the whole time. He seemed sincerely apologetic, but there was something in his eyes that made her think perhaps it was a little too calculated, now that she allowed herself to gaze at him for longer than a split second. Was he trying to win her over by showing concern for her people? She wouldn’t put it past him.

“A lot of things went wrong here,” Ryder said stiffly, trying to keep emotion out of her voice and retreat into professionalism. Apart from her nerves fraying from Mashiar’s advances in face of Evfra’s building sullen rage, she didn’t feel like sharing her hurt over the tragedy at hand; she recognized the shuttle and she was having an increasingly hard time reconciling herself to what had happened here.

She walked ahead of them towards the wreckage, picking her way through the field of debris thickening as they drew closer to the smoldering remains and, sooner than she would have liked, she came across the first body. He was burned beyond recognition and contorted into unnatural angles, but she recognized him for a turian. Not far she thought she saw the remains of a salarian, though it was difficult to tell and a few steps took her to what remained of human woman.

More bodies, all around. Striding through the wreckage Ryder felt her face turn to stone as she realized what she was seeing; it really was just a shuttle, with no built-in weaponry or anything even mildly threatening; although the angara may not have been familiar with its design, she had a hard time justifying targeting these people for any reason. All she could think of was that this had been a colony flight, intended to carry farmers and scientists, not soldiers; there wasn’t a sidearm anywhere, nor did she see any remains of armor anywhere. After poking around in what remained of the cockpit, she finally found what she was looking for and tried to power the shuttle’s processor with her omnitool so she could extract any existing data.

“SAM?” she prompted.

_Scanning. I may be able to reconstruct a part of the final log, but it is heavily corrupted._

“Do it,” she said, and immediately the voices of ghosts echoed across Voeld’s howling winds.

“ _Mayday, mayday! …caught fire, we are in need of— What are they…! Why …shooting at us! …comms are jammed, they can’t hear—_ ”

_The rest is unrecoverable,_ SAM said.

It was enough. Ryder squeezed her eyes shut. After a moment she stood, facing her angaran companions. “What, exactly, did you see as a threat in this?” she asked.

Mashiar looked a little uncomfortable, for once. “As I said… we tried to hail them. They never answered.”

“The Initiative is _not_ your enemy,” Ryder said hotly. “You could have forced them to land and figured out what they wanted _without_ shooting them out of the sky. They were calling for _help_.”

Evfra looked troubled. “Why was this shuttle here in the first place?”

“Don’t you start that again,” Ryder said angrily, “a simple shuttle full of colonists doesn’t even come _close_ to looking like an invasion force!”

“They _were_ headed straight at a daar,” Evfra said, but his voice was still more troubled than anything else.

“They were _on fire_!” Ryder shouted.

“The Pathfinder has a point,” Mashiar said, frowning at Evfra. “I don’t pretend to know what has been going on, but we were put on alert at the time.”

The Resistance leader’s lips peeled back in a wordless snarl, but he didn’t challenge the assertion; instead, he turned his gaze on Ryder, looked into her angry, grieving eyes and for a moment his expression almost mirrored hers before hardening back to stone.

“You put them _on alert_? Against the _Initiative_?” Ryder asked incredulously.

“What would you have had me do instead?” Evfra demanded.

“It’s called ‘trust’,” she said in cold anger.


	12. Supercell

“Someone _stole_ the Tempest?” Ryder demanded, incensed.

“It wasn’t stolen,” the lieutenant giving Evfra the report said, frowning at her. “That was the plan, wasn’t it?” he looked at the Resistance leader for guidance, clearly baffled at the reception of his news.

Not ten minutes ago Ryder and her companions had returned to the Resistance base where this fellow, Tajix Evfra had called him, was waiting for them. Clearly he had expected an entirely different reception to his report, which stated that the strike team Evfra had ordered assembled aboard the Tempest was ready to do as commanded and the ship itself was launched and was already underway towards its first target after it made a tactical round in the region to make sure that there were no Initiative ships lurking in wait.

A pre-emptive strike at the Nexus.

“It sounds pretty damned much like it was stolen,” Ryder said acidly. “You just launched _my ship_ at the heart of the Nexus and I’m somehow not aboard it. _It was stolen_.”

“But you’re…”

“Enough,” Evfra broke in harshly. “Can we reach them?”

“You ordered radio silence,” Tajix said hesitantly, squirming under Evfra’s glare.

“I think it should be fairly clear by now that I did no such thing – now find me a way to get that ship turned around!”

“Yes, Evfra,” Tajix said and hastened away, looking troubled.

“Evfra,” Ryder said, giving him a pointed look, arms crossed.

“What?” he asked gruffly, but only looked at her sideways.

“You know what.”

“You may have to be a little clearer than that,” Evfra said, frowning and mirroring her gesture.

“I want my ship back. I want my team back. I can’t do any of that if I am your prisoner.”

“Being a prisoner doesn’t seem to stop you from doing anything,” Evfra observed.

“You _will_ declare it out loud that I am not your prisoner! You don’t want to start a pointless and bloody war between our peoples any more than I do and treating me this way does _not_ further our cause!”

“In what way am I treating you, exactly?” Evfra asked, eyes narrowing.

“I gave you and your people information about the Initiative _in good faith_ that you would _not_ use it against us, because I _trust_ you,” Ryder articulated through gritted teeth. “I have been insulted, interrogated, _shot at_ and now the Tempest is going to glide to the Nexus as if nothing was wrong and the Resistance is going to start killing people who do _not_ deserve to die! Have I missed anything?”

Evfra didn’t look nearly as ashamed as he should, but the sobriety of his gaze said he felt it anyway. “Pathfinder Ryder, you are no longer a prisoner of the Resistance.”

“Good,” Ryder said with cold satisfaction. “Now, is there a way that I can contact my team from here?”

“It would take too much time,” Evfra said, glowering again. “But a message did arrive that I think you’ll want to see.” He retrieved a datapad from a nearby table and handed it to her.

Ryder frowned. “When did you get this?”

“When we first arrived,” Evfra said.

Ah. When he wasn’t talking to her because of Mashiar’s incessant flirting. Grumbling under her breath about men and their childish behavior, she read the contents of the datapad. It was a brief and cryptic message that simply read ‘ _RemTech in sights, figuring it out is next but keeping out of sight, chat later_ ’ which had Peebee written all over it. So, she was the one who had the device, and it sounded like she was hiding somewhere, presumably from the search parties Evfra had so wisely dispatched. _That’s the last time I’m allowing him to take me prisoner,_ she thought angrily. Being in that position had deprived her of more than freedom; she wondered what other news she had missed because of it. At any rate, this meant that scooping Peebee up was not an option, they had no time to search for her.

“Evfra!” Tajix came running back to them. “I could not reach the Tempest,” he said anxiously. “Nor did any of the Milky Way outposts respond – if they can respond, I do not know if the connection worked, our relays have been malfunctioning.”

_Pathfinder, if Firaan is behind this, it may have been that he sabotaged communications,_ SAM intoned in her head.

“They must know something is happening,” Ryder said. This was going very badly very fast. “They may suspect that the Resistance is up to something if they heard a claim about the Tempest being a threat aimed at the Nexus, it sounds preposterous on the face of it. Or your relays could indeed be bad… or sabotaged.” Belatedly she bit her tongue; she hadn’t meant to say that last out loud, no matter that she agreed with SAM that this was the most likely explanation.

Tajix frowned at her. “But that makes no sense, Pathfinder, would they not at least try to find out if there is something to our claims? And who would sabotage our relays? Everyone wants to communicate with each other.” Suddenly looking embarrassed, he added apologetically to Evfra, “I am sorry, I did not mean… I know she’s a prisoner, I…”

“She’s not any longer,” Evfra said simply.

Ryder smiled at Tajix when he gave her an astonished look. “I’m afraid I don’t know enough about what’s going on to answer that,” she said.

“Enough questions,” Evfra forestalled Tajix before he could reply. “We can’t contact them directly, so we have to go there ourselves.”

“Can we get there on time?” Ryder asked anxiously.

“You _could_ catch up to them if you go now. They were instructed to circle around before striking,” Tajix put in.

“Can we assemble a team?” she asked Evfra, keeping her tone light and professional when addressing him. She hated herself for the stab of guilt for being distant with Evfra; he _deserved_ it and much more, but she couldn’t just turn off her feelings for him.

“You have one!” Mashiar’s voice said behind her. Ryder wanted to snap at him to keep his distance – she _really_ wasn’t in the mood for repeatedly putting him off – but instead elected to coolly ignore him.

“You are not coming,” Evfra said with finality. Ryder suppressed a sigh of relief.

Mashiar came closer to stand between her and Evfra, frowning. “Have I done something wrong?”

“Anjik already has her instructions, but I want you out in the field, making sure no more… accidents happen,” his glance at Ryder spoke plainly enough to what sort of accidents he meant. Ryder wanted to know what ‘instructions’ he had left, but she didn’t want to ask in front of Mashiar.

“Surely you can’t blame us for that? We were on alert!” Mashiar exclaimed, a fringe of anger creeping into his voice.

“ _You_ shot down that ship – _you_ make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Evfra said coldly.

“It was under _your_ orders,” Mashiar said, eyes glittering darkly.

Evfra backhanded him without warning, splitting the man’s lip and almost sending him sprawling. The commander straightened with a feral growl, barely holding himself back from lunging at Evfra, but the Resistance leader didn’t seem at all threatened by his aggressive stance. He just crossed his arms and glared at Mashiar.

“I expect every fighter in the Resistance to use their heads – you were ordered to be on alert, _not_ to start shooting. That was your choice and it was the wrong one. Live with it and its consequences. You are _not_ coming with us.”

Ryder eyed Evfra admiringly, though she wondered with no little frustration why he hadn’t put his foot down like this earlier. It wasn’t as though he _had_ to give their relationship as the reason; the commander had clearly used bad judgment and although it was true that Evfra’s orders had been a little vague, it still seemed a bold leap to consider those people a threat. She tried to stifle the grief that stirred in her at the thought of them, the fear they must have endured; their ship had already been in critical condition and Voeld must have seemed like a safe haven under those circumstances. To be gunned down, cut off from communication…

“Yes, Evfra,” Mashiar said, tone much more level than before, but his eyes were still angry. With the back of his hand he wiped away the small sapphire trickle of blood on his lip and eyed it. When he looked up at Ryder though, a remarkable change seemed to overcome him; he sighed and smiled a little sadly, just as though nothing had happened. “Well, I suppose even unpleasant moments have their advantages and opportunities,” he said to her.

“Opportunities?” Ryder asked, nonplussed.

“I did a little reading,” Mashiar said, stepping closer and taking one of her hands. To her astonishment, he pressed his lips to the back of her hand like a courtier bidding farewell to a lady, eyes locked with hers the whole time. “This is by far my favorite form of saying goodbye. Well, _almost_ my favorite,” he smiled and straightened, reluctantly releasing her hand.

Ryder stared at him, snatching her hand back and covering it. “You realize… that’s many, _many_ centuries outdated,” she said a little breathlessly. Especially now, considering the six hundred years she spent in cryo; she kept forgetting that, her present still seeming a direct continuation of the yesterdays spent in the Milky Way.

“Of course,” Mashiar smiled, “but I think I’d like to see this custom revived! Until we meet again, lady Pathfinder.” The return of his charm was seamless, but Ryder rather thought she still saw that anger lurking in those green-and-brown eyes of his.

“Now get out,” Evfra commanded coldly and waited until Mashiar sullenly retreated without a backwards glance.

“What did Mashiar do?” Tajix wondered aloud.

“His team shot down an Initiative shuttle,” Evfra answered.

“When was that?” Tajix asked, puzzled.

“Three days ago, I think,” Ryder answered him. “Why?”

“I didn’t hear of it, that’s all,” the lieutenant said after a moment. He sounded uncertain, but apparently their answer satisfied him, because he didn’t elaborate.

“Since you’re here, you might as well join us. Prepare a team and a shuttle for us,” Evfra said to him. Tajix blinked, then nodded resolutely. Immediately they started for the hangar bay, Tajix jogging ahead of them to give the instructions.

“How can we even _find_ the Tempest without knowing what orders were fed to them?” Ryder asked, walking briskly.

“We know where they’re going,” Evfra said.

“The Nexus,” she nodded. “Of course. Maybe I can get in contact with Cora and Liam once we’re there, they might be able to rally defenses,” she added a little doubtfully. There wasn’t much time and the Tempest was already underway. She hoped that not knowing its systems would slow the Resistance down a little, but she was afraid they may have just resorted to brute force. Not just to fly it, but to cause damage with it; the Tempest wasn’t a warship, but ramming it into the Nexus would be as effective as pointing canons at it.

_Pathfinder, I may be able to relay messages if the circumstances allow, however my connection has been altered,_ SAM said and Ryder slapped her forehead.

“Of course! How could I forget! SAM, can you contact Cora or Liam now?”

_I cannot speak to them directly unless they enter SAM node,_ SAM answered.

“Why?” Ryder asked, puzzled.

_There is a dampening field within the Hyperion which is preventing me from communicating._

“Why isn’t our connection affected?” she asked, ignoring Evfra’s sideways glances at her as she, for all intents and purposes, carried on a conversation with herself as it must have seemed. She tried not to do that too much in front of people outside her team, but she supposed no one was closer to her than Evfra now; he would just have to get comfortable with it.

_The quantum entanglement connection is not affected, I am only isolated from my immediate surroundings._

“There must be a reason for that…” Ryder sighed. “Let me know if anything changes.”

_Yes, Pathfinder._

“Damn! I thought we had a solution – a way to warn them…”

“We will stop the Tempest or avenge your people,” Evfra said solemnly and with a glance around to see if no one was looking, he brushed her hand with his, sending a warm tingle running through her fingertips and up her arm.

Ryder smiled slightly. She wasn’t sure how it was possible to be so pleased and still be angry with him, but in any case her worry quickly consumed the brief surge of joy at the gesture. There was _a lot_ to worry about; especially this new piece of information. If Firaan was responsible, it seemed odd that he would go to such pains to keep SAM node from being directly affected by whatever was keeping SAM blind; unless it was to avoid rousing her suspicion. Then again, he had to _know_ that SAM would warn her…

“What instructions did you give Anjik?” Ryder asked suddenly, remembering that she had been meaning to ask when they were alone. There were people around, but no one was close enough to overhear, especially when they reached the hangar bay and the hisses and groans of the shuttles drowned out some of the sound.

“I instructed her to take over the Resistance should I fail to return,” Evfra replied.

Ryder frowned silently. It was a wise precaution, but she was assaulted by apprehension for his well-being when she contemplated how easily that order could become a reality. Moments later, she was climbing into the shuttle, this time taking a seat next to Tajix; mainly she was afraid that if she sat next to Evfra again her willpower would dissolve and she would give in to the desire to lean her head on his shoulder or take his hand. She supposed those were frivolous human interactions that the Resistance leader had no appreciation for, but she certainly felt like she needed them, now more than ever. The other reason was that she was, after all, still a little angry at him, for her imprisonment, his unwillingness to let go of his suspicions about her people and most of all for silently punishing her for Mashiar’s attentions.

The shuttles lifted off, gliding out into Voeld’s howling winds and suddenly picking up speed, racing through the perpetual clouds and into the upper layers of the atmosphere before finally emerging into frictionless space. Once underway towards the Nexus, Tajix, a little flustered, began to hesitantly ask her questions about the Milky Way species. She quickly learned that the lieutenant was quite a curious man, but his questions were all innocuous and nothing at all like Mashiar’s had been. In fact, she found his earnest enthusiasm quite endearing and she answered his questions freely enough. Evfra clearly disapproved anyway, but his posture seemed far less hostile than when Mashiar had been their companion. Eventually even Tajix’s curiosity seemed to dwindle in the face of the impossible task ahead and the three of them fell into silence.

Time passed with agonizing slowness.

What seemed like an eternity later, her stomach a solid ball of ice, Ryder’s eyes were fixed on the small smear of blue on the back of her gauntlet as she attempted to focus her thoughts. They were close enough to the Nexus that all her thoughts seemed to fall apart though, except the one that haunted her: what if they arrived and there was nothing left but a debris field? No matter how she tried to think about Firaan, the lack of communication or even the jumble of thoughts and emotions that accompanied Evfra, she kept having visions of pieces of her ship blossoming with explosions immediately snuffed out by space or asphyxiated bodies among shredded corridors and broken rooms, all floating silently in death’s embrace.

“We’re here!” their pilot said suddenly and the air around them seemed to warp and shift as they dropped into normal space.

Ryder jumped to her feet and stepped up to the window. “Can you see the Nexus? Is the Tempest here?” she asked, eyes scanning and – there! Her eyes fixed on the Nexus and, seeing it was intact, she heaved a sigh of relief. Her tension spiked again, however, when she noticed that it seemed to be surrounded by shuttles.

“Are those ours?” Tajix asked.

“I think they are Initiative,” Evfra said. “Not a very effective defense force,” he added.

“We’re _colonists_ , not military,” Ryder said.

“Look!” Tajix exclaimed, pointing as out of nowhere the Tempest suddenly appeared above and behind them, its massive wings blocking out everything as it wound like a dagger towards the Nexus.

With horror Ryder watched her ship pick up speed, the shuttles attempting to defend the station swarming forward, creating an effective net to catch or throw the ship off balance; but the Tempest would rip them to shreds if it came to that, it wasn’t going to work.

“Go after it! Fire a warning shot, if they see their own maybe they’ll stand down,” Evfra commanded the pilot, who relayed the message before sending them hurtling to catch up to the Tempest.

“SAM?” Ryder asked desperately, grabbing hold of a handle as their shuttle veered hard to come above the Tempest’s wing.

_The dampening field is still in effect,_ SAM reported.

“Shit!” she exclaimed. “There must be _something_ we can do!”

Shots fired over the Tempest, but whoever was piloting either didn’t see or didn’t care because they kept speeding up. Ryder never felt so helpless in her life as they narrowly avoided a collision when the Tempest didn’t respond to their attempts to stand in its way, clearly visible to anyone on the bridge.

_Pathfinder, I believe I have established a connection,_ SAM said suddenly, but before Ryder could respond, the shuttle bucked and sent them sprawling.

The world _rocked_ , window looking out on the nauseating image of the stars spinning out of control, vibrations spasming through the deck plates into Ryder’s body until her teeth rattled. After a protracted moment everything stopped with a shudder and the pressure she had felt vanished as if it had never been as the pilot regained control.

“What happened?” Ryder gasped, a little short of breath. She groaned, hands going to her head painfully where she met the floor. Somehow she had ended up jumbled between Tajix and Evfra, both of them gritting teeth and attempting to clamber up. Once standing, Evfra reached a hand to her and helped her to her feet, eyes quickly roaming over her to see if she had been badly hurt.

“Where are seatbelts when you need them,” Ryder grunted.

“The Tempest!” the pilot exclaimed, “It’s going off course!”

Looking out, Ryder saw he was right; they had been thrown off quite a ways, but it gave them a better view. The Tempest, as if it had struck an invisible wall, was turning nose-up, drifting aimlessly in a corkscrew motion. Mouth falling open she bent her head to try and see the whole ship, realizing that it looked completely dead. It was just a black mass, except where natural light illuminated it.

“ _Did ya miss me?_ ” Peebee’s cheerful voice suddenly said over the comm.

“Peebee!” Ryder exclaimed. “What just _happened_? Was that you?”

“ _Remember that box you sent me to fetch on the ice planet? I figured it out._ ”

Ryder started to laugh, sagging to the floor with relief as she leaned her aching head against the wall behind her. “We’ll meet you aboard the Nexus,” she said finally. “I’ve _got_ to hear this.”

“ _Drinks?_ ”

“Hell yes.” For the longest time she just sat there, letting the others’ voices just wash over her and before long she felt the shuttle begin to move again. After a time, she clambered to her feet and walked a little shakily back to her seat. A moment later, Evfra joined her, eyes on Tajix’s back as he talked quietly with the pilot.

“I didn’t give that order,” Evfra said. His hand moved as thought to take hers, but he let it fall back.

“I know,” Ryder replied simply.

“Do you blame me for what happened to that shuttle?”

“How could I?” she asked. “No, Evfra. Knowing what I know I don’t think I can really blame you.”

Although, it had most definitely been Resistance fighters who took down the shuttle, whereas all the slaughter done with Initiative weapons only indicated just that; there was no real evidence that anyone from the Milky Way had actually participated in the scheme, only indirectly, such as the victims of the shuttle. That wasn’t the question, though. She was ready to admit that she was hurt that he hadn’t trusted her at the time, even after she had demonstrated her trust in _him_ many times over he still doubted, but she wouldn’t repeat his mistake and lay all this at his feet.

“That is good to hear,” he said and actually smiled a little.

Ryder lowered her voice, leaning a little towards him. “You see what Firaan is doing? This is the _second_ time he’s used kett tactics. First he makes the Initiative and the Resistance fight each other, with a lot of people seemingly caught in the middle, like the Roekaar. Now, had this plan succeeded, the Initiative would effectively be leaderless.”

Evfra nodded. “The thought had occurred to me.”

They were silent for a moment. “I trust you,” she said.

Evfra did take her hand then for a brief moment. “So do I,” he said.


	13. Magnetic Flux

****The airlock finally unlatched and Ryder stepped aboard the Tempest, gun first. The only sound she could hear was the breath in her helmet and the muted vibration of her footsteps on the Tempest’s eerily quiet deck, a pool of cool blue light following her gaze where she pointed the only illumination, but there was no one aboard the bridge to aim at as far as she could see.

“Clear,” she said and her comm clicked. Behind her Cora and Liam went further in, sweeping for enemies, and she stepped up to Kallo’s station, watching the slowly spinning stars, coming around to the Nexus again and again, before turning back around. “Let’s get her up and running again. Peebee said that the dampening field shouldn’t have damaged any of the systems, it wasn’t an EMP, so it should be easy enough.”

She still struggled to comprehend what the asari archeologist had done; when she and SAM had encountered it she assumed it was a kett device for data storage and nothing more. Clearly it had capabilities far beyond that, such as shutting down a specific target in space. The precision required for that was impressive by itself and more than a little useful. The dampening effect itself explained why SAM couldn’t scan it, and that very fact made Peebee’s feat so much more impressive; somehow she had learned enough of its systems to perform that strike, although Ryder was afraid that the cost of using it without understanding it fully first had caused the device to be irreparably damaged.

Liam’s voice crackled in her helmet. “ _Does anyone actually know how to fly the ship? Or turn it back on?_ ”

“I was kind of hoping you did,” Ryder said. “You were Alliance, didn’t you get pilot training?”

“ _We’d better brace ourselves for that experience,_ ” Cora said.

“ _Yeah. Not sure I want the job. Kallo has a mean temper._ ”

“Well, we’ve got to get her back to Aya somehow,” Ryder said. “Come on, let’s find these angara. None of the escape pods were missing, so they _must_ be here somewhere.”

They moved further into the ship, sweeping every corner, every room, but the entire ship was deserted, until they reached the cargo bay. Cora went up top to sweep the engine room while Liam and Ryder circled the bay from two sides, but they only took a few steps before they came upon the first dead anagara.

“ _Shit… shit! What happened here?_ ” Liam asked. His light paused on the bodies before hastily scanning around as though expecting a monster to leap from the shadows and claim them as well.

“Can you spin up the engine?” Ryder asked, looking up at Cora as she approached the engine room door, gun held at the ready.

“ _Give me a minute,_ ” her second in command replied and disappeared into the engine room.

A moment later, deep within the bowels of the Tempest Ryder sensed vast machinery moving and a powerful whine vibrating through her helmet and built in intensity, spinning at an increasingly higher pitch as the whole deck seemed to come alive under her feet, the hiss of air slowly unmuting the sound. The lights came back on and Ryder took in the whole bay for the first time; dozens of angara lay dead all around, but there was something that instantly bothered her about the whole scene. She removed her helmet and her companions imitated her, Cora rejoining them from above.

“It looks like they just… died,” Cora said, examining the scene soberly. “This wasn’t a battle, something just killed them.”

“I’m glad Suvi and the others weren’t here,” Ryder shivered at the thought.

“We need to find who did this,” Liam said fiercely.

“First let’s figure out how it was done, that has to give us a clue. SAM?” she scanned the angara nearest to her.

“ _This angara appears to have died from poisoning,_ ” SAM said.

“Poison?” Cora asked, startled.

“ _Pathfinder, it also appears that these angara died before the Tempest left Aya._ ”

“How is that possible?” Liam asked. “ _Someone_ had to fly the ship.”

“ _The autopilot was engaged. Judging by the time the command was entered, it was the intention of the angara all along to fly to the Zheng He system on autopilot before taking control._ ”

Ryder sighed sadly. “Let’s get her back to the Nexus. We need to let Evfra know that his fighters never made it to the Zheng He system.”

She hadn’t wanted Evfra to come along with them to reclaim the Tempest initially; it had seemed like a personal thing that she had to do herself with only her team. It wasn’t that she blamed him for her ship being stolen, but all the same, she felt responsible for losing the ship and it felt right this way. Looking at the dead now, however, she wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to bring him after all. He was, as ever, involved in everything.

“Is there something going on between you two?” Liam asked.

“What?” Ryder asked with a start, a little too quickly. “No, of course not! I mean, yes, there is, but not… uh…”

“I think you haven’t figured out the answer yet,” Cora said wryly.

“Thought so,” Liam smirked.

Ryder covered her eyes. “Just… no speculating aloud, please,” she said faintly. “Cora, look around here, see if you can find how they were poisoned. Liam, program the autopilot, we’ll let the Nexus handle the docking.”

“Got it,” Liam said and left for the bridge.

She and Cora looked around but the only thing they found was a broken canister among the supplies the angara had brought aboard. It held traces of toxic material, yet even SAM’s scans didn’t reveal anything conclusive about whether or not it had been the cause of death; whatever was inside it, apparently it mutated rapidly as soon as it came into contact with air. Ryder was sure it was responsible for the deaths, but suspecting that it was something native to the Heleus Cluster, she wanted the insight of angaran scientists.

The engines built in power suddenly and the Tempest was moving towards the Nexus. It didn’t take long to reach their destination – another reminder of how close they had come to disaster – and as they docked Ryder and Cora secured the suspect canister and informed the Nexus crew on standby about what to expect.

Half an hour or so later, Ryder disembarked and looked around in confusion. “So, where is Evfra? SAM?” She had expected him to wait for her; not because of their relationship, but because he must have been on pins and needles to find out what happened to his fighters. She wasn’t sure if she was glad or not that he was absent.

_Evfra is currently together with Directors Tann and Addison,_ SAM replied.

Ryder groaned and immediately headed towards Operations. “That can’t possibly be going well. So they waylaid and sequestered him while I was gone, huh? I’m going to have to have a word with them about that…”

_Pathfinder, I suggest caution in confronting them._

“Why is that?”

_Firaan’s plan seems to have been the destruction of Initiative leadership. If your actions reflect negatively on them it may weaken their position and eventually achieve the same goal Firaan set out to accomplish._

Ryder grimaced. “Sometimes SAM I hate it when you’re right. Fine, I’ll be nice.”

In no time at all, Ryder was striding quickly to Tann’s office in Pathfinder Hall, hearing voices the moment the doors opened. With a nod to Tann’s secretary, she took the steps two at a time to reach the little gathering, which was conspicuously small based on the few voices she heard.

“What I want to know is what’s stopping the Resistance from attacking our outposts while we’re distracted here?” Addison’s angry voice demanded.

“The first thing in order is to make sure the Nexus is secure, there are still angaran ships out there with uncertain intentions,” Tann said as Ryder drew closer. “Ah, Ryder,” he said, clearly not pleased to see her.

Ryder’s attention was all on Evfra, though; his face was a thundercloud and if Tann and Addison had been going at him the way they were when she walked in, she couldn’t imagine anything good coming out of the entire exchange. Knowing Evfra’s tolerance levels, she was a little amazed that he wasn’t frothing at the mouth and setting them both down so hard they bounced.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said aloud.

“You’re not,” Evfra grunted sourly, cutting Tann off before he could speak. “Your ‘leaders’ were just explaining to me how the angara are untrustworthy and a threat.”

Ryder groaned softly and addressed Tann and Addison. “Surely, you recognize the angara’s contribution to keeping the Nexus safe?”

“That’s your story,” Addison said flatly.

“Yes. As a matter of fact it was _my_ team who prevented your destruction and the Resistance was instrumental in making that happen.” Well, sort of. She didn’t see the need to mention that Peebee and the others had basically been acting autonomously while she was a freshly released prisoner chasing hopelessly after her own ship and utterly powerless to stop it by herself at the time.

“A position we would not have found ourselves in had you not _given up your ship_ to the Resistance in the first place,” the director retorted.

“Are you not inviting Kesh to meetings anymore?” Ryder asked Tann, trying to put them off balance. “Or Kandros?” Addison had a most unfortunate tendency to emphasize the worst details of any given situation.

“She does not need to know _everything_ ,” Tann said peevishly. “The Director and I have a vested interest in the Resistance’s stance on recent events. We find it most troubling that such hostilities were allowed to begin with.”

“Kandros is busy making sure your _friend_ here doesn’t do more damage than he’s already done,” Addison said sharply.

Ryder leaned a little towards them, clasping her hands behind her back. “Director Tann. Director Addison. The _leader_ of the Angaran Resistance is here to tell you, in person, that he didn’t sanction the attack. Blaming all angara for the actions of a small rogue faction is hardly the way to treat your _friends_ ,” she emphasized the last, staring down Addison as best she could.

The older woman was clearly having none of it, but Tann spoke before she could. “Perhaps Ryder has a point. We should give the Resistance another chance.”

Addison glared at him, clearly thinking that he was putting self-preservation over the interests of all, but the reason Ryder was staring at him balefully was because his words could not have been _designed_ to provoke Evfra more. A quick glance at Evfra’s lowering eyebrows and the way his scar pulled at his mouth as he snarled silently said as much.

“Now that that’s settled, I will escort our guest around before he leaves,” Ryder said firmly. “Good day,” she added, nodding her head formally and turning around before they could say a word. After that, she was sure they simply held their tongues because it would have looked foolish to argue to her back, especially when Evfra immediately turned away and followed her out silently, ending the conversation. It helped that she had placed special emphasis on her words as though trying to convey hidden meaning, and luckily it seemed that they at least trusted her enough to believe she had her reasons for wanting to extract Evfra; that, added to how much they clearly _didn’t_ trust the Resistance leader and therefore wouldn’t want to say too much in front of him in the first place.

Once outside, she drew Evfra aside, intent on calming him down before he exploded, but to her surprise, she saw there was no need. He was frowning, but that was by no means unusual for him. It seemed that simply being gone from the Director's office was enough to cool him off; Ryder quite understood, Tann had a similar effect on her.

“Before we leave, I want to visit my brother,” she said instead of what she had been intending to say. She didn’t want to ask him to come with her, but she hoped that he would offer it, especially since they hadn’t really had a chance to talk since that moment on the shuttle.

He hesitated. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said as though he read her mind. “Officially, meeting your family does not concern the Resistance, but… I may accompany you, to have that word later, if there is a quiet place here.”

Ryder eyed him. He was being remarkably… well, _amiable_. That word just didn’t apply to Evfra normally. “Okay,” she said slowly. “So do you… actually want to talk to me or is that just the story we’re going with?”

“I did not lie,” Evfra said with a small smile.

Ryder just shook her head in wonder before gesturing him to follow her and a few minutes later she lead him onto the Hyperion, entertaining him with explanations about the various things that could be found on the ship which he clearly wasn’t interested in. He accepted it patiently, however; he must have sensed that she was playing tour guide for the benefit of anyone observing them.

Going to see Scott was a sobering experience, especially since it only really hit home standing there over him that quite aside from almost losing the spearhead of the Initiative, she had almost lost her brother to Firaan’s attack as well. She murmured soothing words to him, wishing that she could unburden herself of all the things that had been going on, wishing that he would wake up, crack one of his jokes and help her figure out the rest.

Evfra did not say anything except glower a few paces away, giving every appearance of the guest of necessity waiting on her to finish her business, but when their eyes met she instinctively knew that he understood. Perhaps better than anyone else, considering how alone he was. She joined him with a nod to say that she was done and wished that she could give something to the Resistance leader that would fill that hollowness where his family had been; she had already stepped into that nest of vipers before, but it occurred to her that she could do something else that she hadn’t tried before. She lead him to Alec Ryder’s room.

“The door is open for you, Pathfinder,” the guard on the door said, looking suspiciously at Evfra. Ryder wondered if she should give him a plausible reason for bringing the angara along, but then she decided that, on balance, it would have been more suspicious to say anything, so she strode through confidently, as though there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Once she was inside though, she hesitated, feeling a familiar tightening in her chest as she thought of her father. Inevitably that made her think of Scott, but there was nothing she could do for him, so she tried to gently nudge him out of her mind. Evfra came in more slowly, looking around, perhaps not quite understanding what they were doing there or what the significance of the place was.

Though her family bore little resemblance to an anagaran one, she nevertheless shared something with Evfra now, having first lost her mother, then her father. She couldn’t bring the Resistance leader’s family back as she had hoped what seemed like an age ago, embarking on their mission to Voeld, nor could she ever replace them, but she _could_ reach out and be there for him in a way that only someone who had suffered a similar plight could.

When it came to it though, she found she wasn’t sure exactly what to say. Evfra was not very free with his emotions, he had rebuffed her repeated attempts at sympathy and had only shown her rage and pain whenever she prodded him about the subject; but perhaps it was enough to just be here and speak about herself to him, give the unspoken invitation and let him do the reaching should he wish it.

“This was my father’s room,” she said finally in a quiet voice. “I wish you could have met him.”

“Would he have liked me?” Evfra asked.

Ryder eyed him, a little startled that he cared to ask. “You mean… as the leader of the Resistance?” she asked.

“That, too,” he said.

She blushed a little. She constructed the scene in her mind in a flash, introducing the brusque angara as someone important to her and imagined Alec as wavering between shock and disapproval; _particularly_ being the Pathfinder, as he would have been in that situation, constantly dealing with the leader of the Resistance in an official sense. Then again, it was likely that Alec wouldn’t have allowed her to go off on half-baked rescue missions because she wanted Evfra’s respect in the first place. She didn’t know how to feel about the idea that her father’s death had been a key element to what finally brought them together.

“I… honestly don’t know. I think you probably would have… clashed,” she said aloud.

He smiled. “Not unlike you, then.”

“I suppose,” she walked further into the room, tracing her fingers over the counter top, then the back of a chair. She turned back to Evfra, looking up and frowning a little. She tried to express to him something about her father and about her loss, but in that moment she suddenly realized that she didn’t know what to say; maybe she had needed to come here more than he did, if for nothing else then to truly understand why Evfra never spoke of his family. She wasn’t sure she could, either. Instead, she said, “You said you wanted a private place to talk – well, this is the best I can do while we’re here. So what did you want to talk about?”

For answer, Evfra pulled her close abruptly and kissed her gently. Ryder clutched his arms, a little startled at the suddenness of the gesture, but all the same thrilled beyond reason. Once he drew back and sense reasserted itself, she stared up at him, unable to let go and yet wanting to anyway. But then, he didn’t seem to be particularly distressed or in need; in fact, he looked as open as she had ever seen him. Still intense with clear, wintery eyes, face all sharp angles and that vicious scar, but for the first time she thought he truly let her see what was beneath all that.

“You want to do this now? _Here_?” she asked, a little flustered. Best to clarify things. It was no exaggeration to say she had dreamed of this kind of moment, but she was still uncertain about so many things; she didn’t want this to turn out to be just another expression of physical need, particularly weighted as she was by memories and pain of loss.

“You mistake my intention. I have begun to realize that you deserve more than what I have been giving you,” he said seriously. He ran fingers through her hair softly, traced the contours of her cheeks. “I have not allowed myself to truly enjoy you – or us – before.”

Ryder just trembled disbelievingly, transfixed. Warmth spread through her that embarrassingly made her feel close to tears, but she managed to swallow it and say, “I didn’t think you wanted that sort of thing.” His caress was so light and soothing, his fascination so exhilarating that she felt a little overwhelmed, a part of her very much afraid that it couldn’t possibly last.

He gently took her hands from his arms one by one and replaced them on his shoulders to hold her closer, though he still kept apart enough so he could look down at her. “It’s a secret. I’m afraid I mistook that to mean that what we have isn’t real… but it is. I can ignore it and push it away, I do not like having something, someone, to lose again. But pushing you away does not change who you have become to me.”

Ryder laughed a little shakily. “So the Resistance leader finds me irresistible?”

Evfra grunted. “You are terrible at humor,” he said. “What is your favorite color?”

“My what?” Ryder laughed in surprise.

“Your favorite color. It’s something I should know.”

“I suppose…” she considered, studying his eyes with her head tilted to one side. “I might go with silver today.”

His lips quirked, but it quickly faded back to seriousness as he studied her eyes. “I don’t remember what it is like to not be alone,” he said. “But I want to know more about you.”

Ryder smiled.


	14. Lightning Rod

“Glad you all made it! Now let’s talk about Firaan,” Ryder said, looking at a sight that made her feel as though the universe was right again: her whole team back on the Tempest, with Evfra at her side, no less.

“It is good to be back,” Jaal said with a smile; he looked a little worse for ware, but not enough to worry her.

“I was worried there wouldn’t be anywhere to come back _to_ , from the news I heard,” Vetra said, running her hand along the table edge unconsciously.

“I won’t let that happen again,” Ryder said firmly, not quite glancing at Evfra. “And the Resistance leader here,” she pointed at Evfra, “assures me they won’t try that again.”

Evfra glowered a little, but in a subdued fashion as he nodded his head. Jaal stared at him, looking a little incredulous. _Well, he should,_ Ryder thought. It had taken teeth pulling to get Evfra to agree to that announcement, both coming from him publicly by way of an apology to the Initiative and its human Pathfinder and privately to her team, obliquely, to reassure them. Looking at their faces, particularly the new arrivals, Ryder realized that for them this was still fresh news and, with the exception of Jaal, Evfra himself was still a rather unknown element to them. Not that Cora and the others aboard the Tempest since the Nexus knew him well, but they had had chances to see his interactions with her and that appeared to be enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It had been only a couple of days since the Tempest returned to Aya, but Ryder felt like an eternity had passed since the Nexus encounter and, at the same time, as if everything was moving much too quickly. She had put the averted disaster out of her mind before long and had continued to discuss Firaan and his plot with Cora and Liam as they slowly glided back to the angaran world, while Peebee remained ensconced with the device and barely said two words to her except for excited dismissals that she was onto something. In the times in between those talks she had happily spent what seemed like a spare few seconds with Evfra here and there as he asked questions about her, absorbing all her answers attentively.

Now, finally, days after Ryder had sent messages to recall her team, the remaining members had arrived and the clock started again, or so it seemed. Not everything was seamless and back to normal; Evfra’s presence was not _quite_ disruptive, but it was close, and only Jaal appeared truly at ease with it. Ryder didn’t leave room for objections to be raised though, and there was no denying that he was involved in everything already. At the very least, everything was close enough to perfect that she felt like she was finally on track again in a way that she hadn’t felt since that first time she had docked at Aya to deliver news of her discovery to the Resistance leader.

“Alright, let’s go over what we know. Firaan has _officially_ topped my shit list for stealing my ship,” Ryder said.

“And also almost destroying the Nexus,” Cora added with a small smile.

“That, too,” Ryder agreed, frowning at them when several of them hid smiles. “First let’s hear Cora and Liam, we need to know that we can count on our people doing the smart things, not the angry stupid things. Cora?”

“Mostly they tried brushing me off, but Kesh and I made sure that everyone was too busy with work to worry about anything.” Drack gave a grunt of approval. “I had a chat with Kandros, he sent his team on patrols to be seen, so the people on the Nexus can feel safer.”

“A lot of good that did them,” Liam interjected. “It didn’t help that Tann and Addison were useless. Tann kept wanting to make speeches that everything was right, and when people started calling him on his bullshit, he hid in his office.”

“No wonder he was so… pleasant,” Ryder said, glancing at Evfra.

“His welcome was heartwarming,” Evfra said dryly.

Cora took it up again. “Addison’s main concern was the colonists and she was very vocal about it. It was making people nervous, so I sent Liam to Eos to check things out, maybe assuage her fears.”

“Podromos is ready for anything, Pathfinder,” Liam said. “People are afraid, but determined. Our colonists are ready and willing to defend their own.”

Cora sighed. “Between the two, the colonists are the more level-headed ones. I’m not worried about them, but things could get ugly if Tann decides to poke his face out again.”

Before Ryder could open her mouth, Drack spoke up. “I’ve got real problems to talk about, if you’re worried about people doing stupid things, I’ve got your reason. I sent some scouts out on Elaaden and they found a band of scavengers who took a bunch of angara as hostages, they’re holed up tight. They’re not fighters and they’re not Roekaar, that’s for sure.”

“We _must_ save them, Ryder!” Jaal said immediately, his eyes fierce.

Evfra grimaced at him. “We risk letting Firaan slip through our fingers if we get distracted, Jaal,” he said.

“No, Evfra, saving our people _must_ come first. I feel very strongly about this. If the Tempest will not go, I will go by myself.”

“We need you, Jaal,” Ryder said gently, glancing at Evfra. “All the same, I think it’s worth looking into.”

“Damn right it is,” Drack said. “These louts went out to Havarl to scoop up some scientists as ‘insurance’ in case the Resistance came knocking at their door, now that’s just _asking_ to be pounded into a pulp.”

Evfra’s face darkened. “They went to _Havarl_?” Both angara looked ready for murder.

“They got a pretty large camp and I’m not sure they’re the only ones,” Drack added.

“I know we can’t keep putting out the small fires,” Vetra put in, “but it sounds like if we leave it unchecked…”

“We’re going,” Ryder said firmly.

“ _Thank you_ , Ryder,” Jaal said with a beautiful smile.

Evfra just grunted sourly.

“That being said, we _do_ need to follow any leads we have – we can go with a small team to Elaaden to save the angara while the others follow whatever leads we have. Jaal, what can you tell us about the Roekaar?”

“The Roekaar are _angry_ ,” Jaal replied. “They did not want to tell me anything, but I knew one of them from his time in the Resistance.”

“You have a Roekaar contact?” Ryder raised her eyebrows. “That could be useful!”

“No. He turned against the Resistance and there is too much painful history between us. But, I saved his life once.”

“And what did he have to say?” Evfra asked, crossing his arms.

“This Firaan came to them with promises of returning the angara to their former glory without aliens and a plan on how to turn the Resistance against the Initiative. He called it ‘waking them up’.”

Evfra scoffed. “If that was his intent, his aim is off.”

“Well, you _did_ imprison me,” Ryder said dryly. “He might not have convinced _you_ that I’m the enemy, but it was touch and go there for a while with the Resistance as a whole.” Especially Ashae; she wasn’t about to mention that woman’s name aloud, though. It still smarted a little that Evfra hadn’t unequivocally agreed with her that the lieutenant had been in the wrong when she shot Ryder.

“Which he immediately ruined by attacking the Nexus,” Evfra pointed out.

“Your orders were forged, though, many angara might have thought that this was a legitimate declaration of war and didn’t wait for your confirmation.”

“He forged Evfra’s orders?” Jaal asked, looking troubled and angry. Both Ryder and Evfra just nodded. “That means he has someone who is in the Resistance… someone of high rank.”

“Or Firaan himself is in the Resistance,” Evfra said grimly.

“If what I heard was true, I think you’re right,” Vetra said.

“What did you hear?” Ryder asked.

“No one named names, of course, but I chatted with a few… friends who buy and sell munitions,” she crossed her arms casually. “Someone has been purchasing a lot of materials that you could use to make bombs or traps… and _a lot_ of Initiative weapons.”

“Like the canister!” Ryder exclaimed.

“Definitely a poison,” Vetra nodded. “I’d tell you its name, but I think it’s unpronounceable.”

“ _Pathfinder, I could cross check angaran databases with the information we have and find the name of the poison,_ ” SAM said.

“Doesn’t matter now anyway,” Drack put in. “It kills and its angaran.”

“Will it pose a risk to us, SAM?” Ryder asked.

“ _Unlikely. A further analysis of my scans indicated that the poison only affects angaran physiology,_ ” SAM replied.

“So two of us are in danger,” Evfra said, “but no more so than any other time. If Firaan had wanted to poison Jaal or me, he would have done so by now. Or _tried_.”

“True,” Ryder said. “I suppose we have to leave it at that for now. How did Firaan even get ahold of the Initiative weapons in the first place?” she asked Vetra. “I mean, I know it’s Kadara, but from what I heard they barely got anything when they left the Nexus.”

“They still have connections,” Vetra shrugged slightly. “That or they picked off some unlucky shuttles. Here’s where it gets interesting, though: every time it was the same angaran man. They say he’s a lieutenant in the Resistance, though I couldn’t confirm that. No one seems to know him personally.”

“A lieutenant?” Evfra snarled. “One of our _highest_ ranking officers?”

“If you can believe rumors,” Vetra replied.

“That’s not enough to go on by itself… but maybe…” Ryder chewed her lip for a moment.

“ _From Firaan’s movements so far, it is more than likely that he has some kind of connection to the Resistance. However, it is unlikely that he could remain very close to Resistance leadership without detection, which suggests a lower rank._ ”

“Hey! What about me?” Peebee demanded, hands on her hips.

“I thought you were still studying,” Ryder frowned.

“Uh, _yeah_ – but that doesn’t mean I didn’t find anything yet!”

“Go on, then,” Ryder said.

Peebee took a deep breath. “Prepare to be _amazed_! While you girls were all chit-chatting about these two,” she gestured offhandedly at Ryder and Evfra, oblivious to their near identical grimaces, “I was figuring out what makes Nip tick.”

“Nip?” Jaal asked, looking bemused.

“I can’t just keep calling it ‘device’,” Peebee rolled her eyes at him. “Anyway, Nip is shot, but I did learn some fascinating things about it. First, it’s a RemTech and angaran tech _hybrid_ ,” excitement silvered her voice at the word.

“I thought the angara knew as little about RemTech as we did,” Vetra said.

“We don’t know much,” Jaal replied, “but some of us, like the Moshae, know more than others. Long ago our people knew much, much more.”

“Well, somebody somewhere figured out enough to make it sort of work,” Peebee said.

“That would explain how the kett were able to use it. Normally they’re ridiculously inept at using RemTech,” Ryder said. “Please, continue.”

“The second bit of information is a twist. It looks like the angara were using it to identify specific angara, like a soul detector or something. I could go into the details but we’d be standing here for days and I _really_ just want to get back to it.”

“That’s not possible,” Evfra frowned. “We have myths that speak of methods of identifying souls, but those are just stories.”

“How did you figure this out, Peebee?” Cora asked.

“I scanned myself with it.”

“I thought you said it was broken,” Liam put in.

“And that the explanation was complicated,” Jaal added.

Peebee sighed. “It was. It is! I managed to fire it up, it won’t _do_ anything anymore, but scanned myself and got a ‘no match’ – or something like that – and I saw a lot of names then, like a database, and those little scribbles? They look like DNA, except every name has more than one scribble. Conclusion? Soul-detector!”

“That’s… not a very scientific explanation,” Ryder observed.

“ _Yes_ , I _can_ give you a detailed rundown of everything I did. Would it take days? Probably! Look, all my research is on a datapad if you want to waste days going over it instead of just trusting me on this.”

“Point taken,” Ryder nodded. “All the same, you should probably have Lexi take a look at that, she might get more… medical information out of it, and Suvi too,” she added.

Peebee gave her a long, suffering look. “Do I _have_ to?”

“Yes?” Ryder said pointedly.

“Ugh, fine. Do you want Gil to have a go, too?” she asked sarcastically.

“Not a bad idea,” Ryder said, smiling a little as the asari archeologist buried her face in a palm with exasperation.

“This is very troubling,” Jaal said. “If the kett had that kind of information, it could be the reason why some angara were taken and others are not.”

“Clearly they don’t have more of these devices,” Evfra said, “otherwise all of their attacks would be more targeted. They need slaves, but not _that_ many slaves. But… I have to say some of their high-risk operations would make sense if this is true, unbelievable as it is.”

“I don’t think they ever got this to really work for them,” Peebee said musingly. “It looks like they were shooting in the dark. There are a lot of names, but not _that_ many names.”

“Could it be something from our ancient history?” Jaal wondered.

“You mean like a kind of… repository? A census?” Ryder asked.

“Whatever it is, it should be destroyed,” Evfra growled.

“Of course we’re not destroying it!” Peebee exclaimed. “We’re not, are we? Ryder, Nip is a _RemTech-angaran tech hybrid_! For all we know she’s the only one out there!”

“And it’s being used to target my people,” Evfra shot back.

“Guys, _please_ ,” Ryder interjected. “We’re not destroying it until we know more about it,” she raised a hand before Evfra could protest, “after which we will return it to the angara. You can do whatever you like, then.”

Evfra closed his mouth, looking sullen, but nodded all the same.

“You really have him on a tight leash,” Peebee said half mockingly, half admiringly.

Ryder groaned and quickly cut Evfra off before he could retort. “Focus, please! So how does Firaan play into all of this? He must have had _some_ idea what that thing did, otherwise he might as well have just left notes and arrows and still achieve the same result, there has to be a reason he used this.”

No one answered.

“ _There are many possibilities, however with our current level of information none are conclusively more probable than the others,_ ” SAM said after a moment.

“Okay, clearly we need more information there,” Ryder said and suddenly inspiration struck her. “Wait – Peebee, do you think maybe _Firaan’s_ name might be in there?”

Peebee frowned in speculation. “It could be. But I don’t see how that helps us. I’m guessing ‘Firaan’ isn’t his real name.”

“No mother would choose a name like that,” Evfra grunted.

“Ryder, are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” Vetra asked, narrowing her eyes.

“I’m thinking that if Peebee can figure out a way to make that device work again, we can scan all of Evfra’s lieutenants and see if there’s a match. The only thing that makes sense is that he somehow came into contact with it in the past, so logically his DNA must be in there. Since the list isn’t exhaustive, it’s unlikely that there would be a high percentage of matches.”

“I like the way you think, Ryder,” Peebee said admiringly.

“You just want to keep working on it, don’t you,” Ryder replied dryly.

“As I said! I like the way you think,” she grinned.

“Another thing – I learned is that Elaaden isn’t the only place where there’s trouble,” Vetra said. “There are a lot of skirmishes in Kadara’s badlands, mostly Roekaar against everyone else, as far as anyone knows.”

“That’s where they’re hunting, then,” Jaal said. “This might be a good lead.”

“Hunting? You mean they’re hunting Firaan?” Ryder asked.

“The Roekaar know that they were betrayed. They don’t tell anyone, it would be embarrassing to admit that one of their own did more harm to them than any alien did. But they are hunting for the traitor in all his hiding places.”

“If they’re still fighting and searching then they haven’t found him yet,” Cora said.

“But what place can you find the Resistance, opportunities to pit angara against the Initiative _and_ be out of sight from the Roekaar?” Ryder asked.

“No Roekaar mixes with the Resistance,” Evfra said. “If he’s hiding, it’s likely among us and likely in the open. No one would recognize him.”

“Then why look for him on Kadara?” Vetra asked.

“Because they don’t know about his connection to the Resistance,” he replied. “They have no love lost for us, they wouldn’t have listened to a lieutenant of the Resistance, he would have to hide that fact.”

“ _From the available information, it is unlikely that Firaan would be on either Havarl or Kadara,_ ” SAM said.

“Agreed,” Liam nodded. “He’s still in hiding. That means he can’t go where the Roekaar are the strongest.”

“But _Elaaden_ is still in the game bag,” Ryder said slowly. Everyone looked at her.

“You have a plan?” Evfra asked.

“We’re going to do the opposite of what we did the last time – we’re going to tell _everyone_ that the two esteemed angara among us will embark upon a mission with the human Pathfinder to save those prisoners,” she said smugly.

“What will that accomplish apart from posturing? You might as well take Paaran instead of me,” Evfra frowned.

“That’s _exactly_ the point,” Ryder grinned. “We’re very publicly trying to undo Firaan’s damage. We know that at the very least his desire to force the Initiative and the Resistance to turn on one another that he communicated to the Roekaar was sincere. He won’t like us trying to fix the mess he’s created, so, _we_ trap _him_ on Elaaden by fixing it. With a little help from the krogan, of course,” she smiled at Drack.

“Hah!” Drack laughed. “I wouldn’t miss this for anything, we’ll be there!”

“What makes you think he would fall for that?” Evfra demanded. “He’s been very cautious so far.”

“Except for the Tempest,” Ryder said more seriously. “Those bodies… he didn’t have to kill them, Evfra. They were already set on hurting the Nexus, they were doing _exactly_ what Firaan probably planned; so why jeopardize his success there by killing the angara before they could perform their task?”

“You think he’s taken an interest in us,” Evfra said.

“I think he has _always_ been a little fixated on us, but something’s changed… I can feel it.”

“C’mon, stop wasting time and let’s get this ship moving!” Drack said. “We’ve got scavengers to kill.”

“I still want all your skills put to good use while we do this,” Ryder said to them.

“We know what to do,” Vetra said. “I’ll try to get more out of Kadara, maybe find someone who can identify him.”

“Or where his shipments go to,” Liam said. He eyed Vetra for a moment. “I can see if my contacts come up with anything useful. Shipment movements.”

“Alright,” Ryder nodded her consent. “Cora, you and SAM hammer out a strategy while we’re on Elaaden. We want to be ready for Firaan when he does show up. Peebee, try to get that scanner going for me, we might just be able to capture him.”

Peebee nodded. “Sure!”

“Well, if no one else wants to contribute?” Ryder looked around. They all kept silent, exchanging glances and nodding. “We’ll go make the announcement,” she added reluctantly, looking at Evfra. She wasn’t looking forward to the reception of this news, even if it was her idea. “Alright, dismissed!”

A long moment passed as everyone left, leaving Evfra and Ryder alone. She stood there staring into nothingness until Evfra’s hand touched hers and she looked up at him. He studied her silently for another few seconds, smiling ever so slightly when she began to blush under the attention. Ryder wondered whether he was even close to guessing her feelings, but ever since their shared moment on the Nexus she was as certain as she could be that at the very least he cared for her in return; it still wasn’t the same as saying it, of course, but she couldn’t bring herself to start. There was just so much turmoil surrounding him, like an unpredictable whirlwind.

“You realize that the Resistance will not like this plan of yours at all,” he said finally.

“Which is why _you_ have to propose it,” Ryder replied.

Evfra sighed in irritation. “Of course.”

“Shall we dance?” she asked, gesturing to the stairs.


	15. Flurry in the Sand

“The wind… the sand… the cliffs,” Ryder murmured, shading her eyes as she scanned Elaaden. “Very scenic!” she pronounced.

“I have sand in my… no, I have sand _everywhere_ ,” Jaal complained.

“Let’s find these prisoners and get off this cursed rock before we cook,” Evfra muttered darkly.

“You don’t want to stay and enjoy this toasty weather? I think the desert background rather suits you both,” Ryder grinned.

“Ryder,” Jaal said sullenly, “I am not enjoying this. I wish to leave as soon as possible. How far is this encampment?”

“Drack said it’s about an hour drive northwest from New Tuchanka,” Ryder replied. She was sure that any minute now her blood would begin to boil and she was positively dying to find shade or take her armor off, though that latter would have been a deadly mistake, but by the same token she was rather enjoying herself listening to her angaran companions sulk. They _were_ sulking; all in all they adapted rather quickly to the extreme temperatures of Elaaden, but she wouldn’t have known it just listening to them.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Evfra demanded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other impatiently.

“By all means, all aboard,” Ryder gestured at the Nomad. “I wonder what Elaaden would look like at night?”

“You will never know,” Jaal said gloomily.

“Well, I can dream. Maybe we’ll find _another_ desert planet where the sun does set,” Ryder said, as though she had a wonderful idea. Evfra let out a suffering sigh and Jaal groaned. Ryder tried _very_ hard not to snicker as she settled in and headed for the encampment.

She wasn’t even sure what it was that put her in this strange mood; it seemed as though an overdose of restlessness had settled into her that made her feel rather whimsical. Perhaps it was her brain slowly frying in the sweltering heat, but given how she had been feeling lately, she had no intention of letting the opportunity to loosen up pass her by. It also distracted her rather effectively from the weight of their situation, the whole maddening plot around Firaan and all the doubts and anxieties plaguing her constantly; she suspected she needed relief from that more than anything else.

Something bothered Ryder though, which pricked her bubble somewhat; Jaal had been throwing ponderous glances at Evfra every once in a while, then immediately after he would give her the same look. She wanted very much to know what that was about, but she couldn’t bring herself to bring it up while the three of them were together; she was afraid that Jaal wouldn’t hesitate in speaking his mind, regardless of Evfra’s presence. Though, she realized as she thought about it that mostly she feared that the Resistance leader would just put a stop to it… and she actually _wanted_ to talk about it with someone who understood enough of both their worlds.

“There is sand in the Nomad,” Jaal said hollowly.

“Don’t keep reminding me,” Evfra growled.

Ryder sighed. “I thought angara were supposed to be adaptable! You two are really making me question that claim.” She could almost _hear_ them exchange a look.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for Jaal and Evfra to forget about their discomfort and start talking while their journey stretched, though the subject range didn’t particularly impress Ryder for the most part. They had a brief consultation on combat techniques, spoke extensively about the progress the Resistance made so far and what their next steps would be – provided Firaan didn’t demolish it first – and finally, to Ryder’s embarrassment: humans. It started out innocently enough, with basic comparisons they had both experienced aboard the Tempest from food to strange habits, but the number of times that Ryder’s name cropped up in the discussion kept on increasing, until finally they abandoned all pretense as she saw it and entered into a rather animated discussion about her hair of all things.

“ _Guys,_ ” Ryder cut in, relieved to finally arrive before the two men could go into even _more_ detail. They fell silent. Luckily neither could see her face; she wasn’t sure if she was flattered or mortified, but suspected that the combination of the emotions didn’t mix well in her expression. “We’re here,” she said finally as the Nomad rolled to a stop.

Clambering out, Evfra immediately began a silent study of the surroundings, sweeping for enemies or any other dangers. His concentration was almost enough to hide the displeasure from walking around outside; Jaal on the other hand stopped beside Ryder, giving her a meaningful look.

“Ryder,” he said, “now that we have a moment alone, I want to talk to you.”

“She’s _not_ alone,” Evfra said a dozen paces away already and frowning over his shoulder at them, “I’m still here, Jaal.”

“This is important,” Jaal said to him.

“It always is,” Evfra said dryly. “I’ll circle around.”

Ryder looked between them, bemused. “Uh… couldn’t this have waited until we were in a more hospitable place?”

“I need to say this now, we may not have a chance later,” Jaal said seriously, drawing her to the side to stand beneath the meager shade of a tall stone outcrop.

“What is this about?” she asked, though she wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer.

“About Evfra,” he replied and she sighed. “How far have things gone between you? I know Evfra,” he added, seeing that she was about to object or deny it.

For a long moment, Ryder just stared at him, feeling strangely anxious about the conversation. “Far enough,” she said evasively, but blushed as Jaal nodded. He _knew_ ; and just as plainly, he was pleased with her honesty.

“I have seen many changes in him, things I never thought to see before you first arrived on Aya,” he continued, but by his grave tone seemed to say that the changes he saw weren’t necessarily good ones.

“Is that a bad thing?” she asked, unable to help herself.

“Evfra is… profoundly wounded. He will not speak of it, but having companionship is changing him deeply. When he’s not around you, he is… different, as though impatient with everything.”

“Not very shocking for Evfra,” Ryder pointed out with a wry smile.

“He does not know his own feelings, I think, or he struggles with them. Not many angara can do what he does, he succeeded because he had nothing to lose – except now he does, and that is causing an imbalance. This isn’t the same impatience as before, he is restless. I believe he feels your absence and he does not know what to make of that.”

“You mean he’s becoming unstable,” Ryder said, her stomach tightening. Evfra was temperamental and broody, but she never considered that perhaps their relationship might affect him on a level that maybe shouldn’t have been disturbed; but then again, how could she not? _If I love him, that is where I want to be,_ she thought. “How can I help him?” she asked aloud.

Jaal smiled warmly. “You are a _wonderful_ woman, Ryder, for being so kind.”

Ryder blushed. “Uh, thanks… I guess,” she said awkwardly.

“He needs time. Firaan has already pushed him beyond any strike the kett could have devised against him – I suspect there are fractures in him that will break because of it. Perhaps without you there at the time we might have lost Evfra, but now that very same thing becomes a pressure placed on his buried emotions. He is a passionate man at heart… but it may hurt you when it is finally released.”

Ryder studied the dunes in the distance for a moment, feeling a little light-headed. She didn’t really want to hear anything like what Jaal was saying, especially after the incredible tenderness Evfra had shown her recently, but she could not deny that she had seen the signs. It was wonderful to think that she had helped him feel deeply again, maybe – she squirmed with mingled hope and trepidation – he even loved again, but she had simply glossed over the fact that touching on emotions as deep as what she suspected Evfra had carried its own dangers. For all intents and purposes, she had forced his heart open, even after he tried to shut her out; it had been for his own protection, she was beginning to realize, not only protection of his position but of himself.

“What have I done?” she asked softly, worrying her lip. She was a little angry that she had to face these dark thoughts, she _hadn’t_ chosen to see that side of Evfra and he had been the one to reach out to her in the first place; though, she admitted that she could have just left it alone there but did not. It still seemed grossly unfair of the universe to cause her to fall for him under the worst possible circumstances.

“You have been a woman in love,” Jaal smiled. “Evfra _needs_ that, as a person. But you _must_ be strong and clear – I sense it is coming soon.”

Ryder eyed him. “You know a lot about this… about him.”

“I have known Evfra for some time now,” Jaal said. “Evfra is Evfra – but you do learn things about your commanders with enough time.” From the look in his face though, Ryder rather thought that it was more that he recognized his own feelings in the Resistance leader, like a kinship of loss; much like her own bond to Evfra, she realized. She nodded in acceptance of his answer and they went in search of Evfra.

They found him not far away lying on a ledge that overlooked the camp, judging by the coordinates of where it was supposed to be located, and they climbed up to join him, crawling on their stomachs the last few paces so as not to be seen. Evfra gave them both a considering look as they settled on either side of him, probably wondering what they had been talking about; and perhaps suspecting her again of casting her net on any angaran that came along. Not giving him a chance to ask, she quickly surveyed the area below and spoke.

“How many strong are they?”

“Difficult to tell,” Evfra said. “I would say a few dozen, maybe more.”

 _Pathfinder, reports from this region indicate a relatively small group, however there are still too many of them. The probability of a successful rescue is thirty-eight percent,_ SAM intoned.

The camp below was a haphazard collection of shelters scattered in the shade of a shallow basin; as far as she could see, behind some tree cover there was a relatively wide entrance not far from where they perched, judging by the shape of the cliffs opposite them. It was too wide to serve as a choke point and the chances of immediately being flanked by those numbers were a little daunting, but if luck was with them, that wouldn’t matter. Ryder’s eyes searched for any signs of angaran prisoners, or anyone at all, but apart from a handful of guards patrolling in the shade of the few gnarled trees and tortured brushes in the basin, she saw no movement of any interest.

“The real question is,” Ryder said, partly in answer to SAM but also for the benefit of her companions, “whether or not Firaan will make an appearance. He has every reason to want us to fail at this mission and I can’t see how he could avoid a personal appearance on such short notice, unless he’s willing to cut his losses and let the relationship of the Resistance and the Initiative improve a little. Or he’s even smarter than we fear and he has a contingency plan for every move we could make… in which case it hardly matters what we do.”

“We may end up captured or worse and Firaan may never even show himself,” Evfra said sourly.

“It’s the best plan we could come up with on short notice,” Ryder answered, “we made it as flashy as possible, now all we need to do is make sure we _don’t_ end up captured or worse. We’ll sort out Firaan later if he doesn’t show.”

She had made some definite plans in that direction, sending some driblets of information to all the planets where Firaan might have a foothold, but mainly she was counting very much on the fact that he had, for the most part, never strayed very far from the theme of turning the Resistance and the Initiative against each other. Vetra’s more detailed report delivered to Ryder on the activity on Kadara was disheartening to say the least in that sense; it seemed as though Firaan’s plan was succeeding on the level of the common people, if not their leadership quite yet. Not to mention that she wasn’t sure for how long she could count on Tann’s ‘generosity’ to hold towards the Resistance, but suspected that it would last about as far as popular demand didn’t want his head on a platter for endangering them in order to mollify the angara.

“Speaking of plans, how certain is it that we won’t join the prisoners we are here to rescue?” Jaal asked. He had unholstered his rifle to survey the camp, but now he was just fingering it with a dubious frown. “If their numbers are truly that many, the three of us may not be a match for them, interference from Firaan or no.”

“That’s why we have Plan B,” Ryder said.

“Why not just make that Plan A?” Evfra asked, giving her a sidelong look.

Ryder rolled her eyes. “Because we need Firaan to see us charge in there like idiots – we’re no use to him dead, but by the same token he can’t just sit back and let us succeed. Trust me, he will be watching and he’ll be trying to manipulate the circumstances.”

“Is that… a _cage_?” Jaal asked suddenly, outraged.

Ryder looked where he was pointing and peered through her own gun’s scope. She gasped as she made out what indeed looked like a cage in front of one of the buildings fully in the sunlight, but facing away from them. It was difficult to make out more than the presence of it, she only glimpsed a corner of it, but its mere existence spoke volumes. Clearly ‘examples’ had been made, possibly of uncooperative prisoners.

“I’m not waiting any longer,” Evfra said coldly and slid back down to ground level, starting off immediately towards the encampment.

“ _Evfra!_ ” Ryder called after him in as soft a shout as she could manage, but he either didn’t hear or he ignored her. Exchanging a look with Jaal, they followed.

The three of them crept from tree to boulder as silently and cautiously as they could, but the scavengers had picked a good base and it didn’t take long for their lookouts to spot them and sound the alarm. Well, that hadn’t _exactly_ been according to Ryder’s plan, she had wanted to take out as many unseen as she could before they attracted attention, but she thought this might work even better.

“Hold there! What business do you have with us?” a voice called to them unexpectedly.

The trio froze, exchanging looks. “I’m the human Pathfinder,” Ryder called back, glaring at Evfra to speak, but he just glared back before continuing to moving forward. “I’ve come with the leader of the Angaran Resistance on the matter of—” shots cut her off and she threw herself aside, just managing to turn it into a roll and to land back on her feet, cursing vehemently.

That was the end of diplomacy; in seconds Ryder was dodging deeper into the scavenger’s territory, trying to keep eyes on the sneakier ones moving on the periphery in an attempt to flank them, but Jaal’s and Evfra’s blades made quick work of those. The space was still much too wide, however; before long her companions had ranged too far out to either side to be of much assistance and Ryder was desperately fending off melee attacks and dodging bullets as best she could, rolling from cover to cover and trying to find a spot where she could buckle down and defend.

In the chaos she couldn’t really see any angarans, but she suspected she would find them inside one of the buildings anyway; a much more pressing concern of the moment was the heat, however. It took a discouragingly short amount of time for her to start gasping air that felt like she was swallowing fire and her vision was beginning to swim a little from the effort combined with the heat. The roar of battle and scent of blood made her head pound, but worst of all was that each enemy that came at her seemed to spawn two more right behind him or her, rictus snarls on their faces, guns and blades flashing in the sun. Minutes of frantic fighting passed.

“SAM! A little help would be nice,” Ryder said, backing up and finally taking down one of the gunmen on the rooftops she had been trying to pick off. She was panting from effort already, trying to shake off the sweat pouring down her face to no avail.

 _Yes, Pathfinder,_ SAM replied.

Not much later somehow she found herself huddled behind a steel crate not far from the back wall of the basin, Jaal and Evfra at her side; she hadn’t even paid attention to their movements across the battlefield, but the blood on them was indication enough of their successes and failures. Not all of the blood was red, though thankfully neither one of them looked badly wounded, unless they had been injured somewhere hidden she couldn’t see. Even so, every time her eyes strayed to a fresh cut on Evfra she had to stifle her worry.

Now that they had drawn out most everyone to swarm around them at the mouth of the basin, this part of the camp was almost deserted, except for a few people here and there that Evfra and Jaal picked off while she kept firing at those who had taken up positions blocking the entrance. Good position or not though, they were still being pressed too hard; and the basin served as a perfect trap now that they were at the heart of it with no way out. She knew they wouldn’t last for long, especially if more of the scavengers ventured closer to them despite their hail of fire.

“I don’t think this is going according to the plan of any letter of the alphabet!” Evfra said, shooting an oncoming scavenger that had circled round their hiding place.

A bullet snapped against the crate right by Ryder’s head and she instinctively ducked. “Shit, sniper!” she warned sharply, rolling to the side, eyes scanning the shelters and crates behind them that would provide excellent cover with a clear line of sight behind their refuge.

“I’ll deal with him,” Jaal said grimly, and darted forward.

“Let’s cover him,” Ryder said to Evfra and started shooting at the scavengers in front with renewed vigor.

No more shots came from behind them and after a while when scavengers tried to flank them they fell almost the moment they took position; clearly now Jaal was the one doing the picking off. Reloading her magazine for what seemed like the hundredth time, Ryder’s ears were pounding with blood and the numbing piercing patter of bullets, her breath coming shorter every time a scavenger unexpectedly rounded the corner and came at her too close for Jaal to attempt a shot, but after a time Ryder realized that the noise in her ears kept increasing beyond what could be expected of the battle.

“Do you hear that?” Evfra asked, glancing at her as he neatly sliced up another scavenger that had thrown himself on the Resistance leader with a silent snarl.

Ryder squinted up at the sky and started to laugh. “Yep! It’s Plan B arriving right on time!”

A dozen shuttles suddenly swarmed around the basin and all around the basin’s lip krogan were dropping down, those at the sides and at the entrance on the basin’s floor while those who landed on the ledge above rained death upon the scavengers. In seconds they were completely surrounded; it was a brutal press at first and Ryder and her companions quickly retreated behind the lines to avoid getting caught in the center, while the scavengers wildly tried to escape being crushed by the force of the krogan advance. Chaos obliterated the circle before long, though; krogan did not march, they shot into the mass like cannon balls.

“Someone order a krogan army?” Drack’s voice said beside Ryder and she grinned at him.

“Right on time!” Ryder gasped, “I was starting to wonder if you’d miss out on all the fun.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Drack said with pleasure and went off with a roar at the nearest scavenger he could find.

The remainder of the battle was short and bloody now that the krogan had joined in; a much smaller horde of scavengers pressed at the entrance to the basin for a time, this time trying to escape instead of blocking it, while some others even trying hopelessly to scale the basin’s wall. Still wary for enemies, Evfra and Ryder joined Jaal where he had taken over the now dead sniper’s perch and together the three of them swept the camp, looking for anyone hiding in the buildings or behind crates.

“No Firaan anywhere,” Evfra said angrily as they arrived where they had started, near to the building they suspected held the Havarl scientists.

Ryder gave the Resistance leader a worried appraisal, now that her attention wasn’t on the battle anymore; he had picked up a scrape or two, one gash on his arm deep enough that it might add to his collection of scars, but apart from maybe breathing a _little_ harder, he seemed utterly unaffected by the battle, intense as it had been. She clutched at the stich in her side ruefully, wishing she had his composure. If it could be called composure; he looked ready to rip someone in two. Remembering Jaal’s words, she wondered if perhaps it was better that her plan had failed to draw Firaan out; she wasn’t sure how Evfra would react in this mood. Then again, sooner or later they _had_ to confront the man and she couldn’t imagine that going any better than now. _I’ll just have to figure something out,_ she thought determinedly.

“Let’s get those prisoners,” she said and headed for the building with the cage. Her companions followed, both growling softly as they drew closer and saw the remains of an angara inside the cage, clearly dead since days.

Inside, however, what greeted them was nothing like they expected: half a dozen dead angara lay around the room, bodies contorted in their final, clearly painful moments. Ryder stood frozen in the doorway for a few seconds, heart twisting in anguish before she remembered to step aside and let the other two in. Their reactions only increased her sorrow, Jaal sinking to his knees with a despairing cry and even Evfra looked shocked, before anger to shake the heavens suffused his face. There were much fewer of them than the reports had said, but even one was one too many.

“SAM, are they all…?” Ryder asked softly.

_I detect no life signs in all but the one nearest to you; he is still alive, Ryder._

“One of them is alive,” Ryder said, feeling a surge of relief, but a split second later she was gripped by trepidation. The three converged on the anagara and turned him over gingerly, careful not to move him too fast. There was a large wound on his side, but it didn’t appear deep enough to cause him to bleed to death.

To her horror, she recognized him. “ _Tajix?_ ” she gasped. She couldn’t believe her eyes; she didn’t _want_ to believe it, because no matter how she looked at it, there was only one explanation for his presence there in the first place. “Is _he_ the traitor, then? It can’t be… I don’t believe it!”

“What other explanation is there?” Evfra asked coldly. His eyes were a maelstrom of feeling that almost frightened her with its intensity; not fear for her safety, but of how this must be ripping him apart inside. “ _Tajix_ is Firaan,” he said.


	16. Comet Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: On the occasion of my birthday, the 23rd, I want to extend my gratitude to all my readers for your amazing support and feedback for my work – I am thrilled and I couldn’t ask for a better birthday gift than to be experiencing this! Consider this chapter my ‘reverse’ birthday gift to all of you – there is more to come…

“He _can’t_ be Firaan,” Ryder protested. “It doesn’t make sense!”

“How does it not make sense?” Evfra demanded hotly.

“Why don’t we ask him?” Jaal asked. They fell silent, looking down at Tajix, his shallow, ragged breath the only sound. It was labored, but steady.

_Ryder, it appears that Tajix is starved for light. Taking him outside may revive him enough to speak,_ SAM suggested.

“He needs light,” Ryder said, glancing at Jaal to help her pull the lieutenant up. Between them they staggered outside with him, propping him against the side of the building. “Let’s give him a minute to absorb,” she stood and walked back in, leaving Jaal to guard his fellow lieutenant. Evfra hadn’t followed them outside in the first place, instead she found him still studying the bodies in the room. She went closer to him and tried to place a consoling hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged away angrily.

“ _Tajix_ …” he snarled, “one of my most _trusted_ lieutenants on Voeld… how could I _not see_?”

“He fooled all of us,” Ryder said as gently as she could, but she took a step back when he rounded on her.

“He didn’t spend years at _your_ side undermining _every_ success the Resistance has had against the kett! He didn’t _lie_ to you about everything you know of him and he didn’t betray everything you stand for while smiling to your face!”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know how you…” Ryder began, but Evfra cut her off.

“This isn’t about your precious Initiative or any of you!”

Ryder let out a slow breath, clenching her fists at her sides. “We’re _all_ a part of this,” she said calmly.

“Just what exactly was your people’s contribution?” he demanded. “You gave Firaan the opportunity to use your _arrogance_ as the deathblow while _my_ people are left to pay the ultimate price! Don’t try to be _understanding_ ,” he added, reading her expression, “your _one_ conversation with him doesn’t mean you understand what his betrayal _means_ and your help, your interference, has already done more than enough to doom us all.”

Ryder stared at him silently for a long moment, struggling with her feelings, trying to push past the instant feelings of intense hurt and to cut to the heart of the matter. Blame her and the Initiative, would he? That was laughable; it was true that she had barely known the lieutenant from their brief encounter on Voeld and during the race to the Nexus, but the _gall_ of Evfra to presume that she didn’t understand his feelings in that moment – perhaps she didn’t in the way he meant, but he _himself_ meant enough to her that she felt his pain anyway. _He’s not exactly in a mood for rationality,_ she mused, considering carefully how to approach the question.

She decided. “He would have done something like this sooner or later with our without the appearance of the Initiative; don’t use us as an excuse.” When he opened his mouth to retort, she cut him off angrily. “No, Evfra, you _will_ listen to me! You keep throwing in my face that we’re the newcomers, the meddling outsiders and _yes_ , that is true to a point – but without me and my ‘precious’ Initiative you would have kept on smiling at his face never knowing that you were betrayed because that’s _not the angaran way_. Tell me I’m wrong!” she demanded.

“I would have seen it sooner or later,” Evfra said coldly. “His objectives are clear enough and they involve dismantling the Resistance. It’s hard to miss that.”

“Not good enough, Evfra,” Ryder crossed her arms, “you’re going to have to let me face this with you. I _am_ involved, whether you want me or not. You don’t have to share your feelings on the matter if you think it a waste of your time, but Tajix is _definitely_ my concern as much as yours and _you know it_.” She took a deep breath. “SAM?” she asked, ignoring Evfra’s immediate grimace.

_The evidence presented suggests Tajix as a viable option when considering Firaan’s identity, he has access to all the resources necessary to orchestrate each incident encountered and had numerous opportunities,_ SAM replied.

“That’s it?” Ryder frowned, unwinding her arms in surprise.

_More evidence is required. Pathfinder, based on the psychological profile I constructed during your conversations, it is doubtful that Tajix would have a motivation to perform the actions Firaan has done._

“So we’re back to the start – we need to _talk to him_ ,” she said pointedly at Evfra. When he glowered at her, she added, “The _AI_ says that it’s likely not him, are you going to start doubting SAM now?”

“Did your AI outright state that it’s _not_ Tajix?” Evfra demanded.

Ryder gritted her teeth. “Fine, _I’ll_ talk to Tajix alone while you stay here and – do whatever it is you want to do,” she said, her tone prickly. If he wanted to be alone in this, so be it; she didn’t have to pretend to like it, though. To her surprise, Evfra just grunted and stalked out before she even made a move towards the door. _Well, at least he’s cooperating,_ she thought, though not even in her head did she feel even slightly amused.

Outside Jaal was visibly suffering, eyes slowly taking in the sand and bleak horizon despondently, but Tajix looked worse than when they had gone inside. Immediately Ryder closed the distance between them and she scanned the unconscious angara, applying medigel while fervently hoping that it worked; she still hadn’t figured that out yet if it even worked on angarans. Once she had asked Lexi, but the doctor’s explanation had left her more confused than anything else and she had been embarrassed to ask anyone and reveal her ignorance. Clearly Jaal had tried to get water into the man, judging by the damp stains around his cloak, but she feared it hadn’t been enough.

“How is he, SAM?”

_Tajix is stabilizing now that he is in the sun. I believe he is close to regaining consciousness; I can accelerate the process,_ SAM said.

“Do it,” Ryder commanded and reached out for the lieutenant.

Tajix convulsed as Ryder’s hand seemed to release a ripple of energy. His eyes opened, uncomprehending at first and squinting painfully, breath still ragged but sputtering as he seemed to claw his way back to filling his lungs more regularly. The delirium didn’t seem to last very long and he took in Ryder and Jaal kneeling over him, Evfra staring murder down at him.

“So _you’re_ the traitor,” Evfra said coldly. “You’re Firaan.”

_Ryder, Tajix’s heart rate is spiking,_ SAM intoned.

“W-what?” Tajix asked, voice cracking from disuse as much as thirst. “Evfra? Pathfinder, what is this all… _who_ is Firaan?”

“He’s definitely nervous,” Ryder said to Evfra reluctantly. Tajix blinked at the two of them rapidly, assessing the situation, she thought.

“You… name me a _traitor_ ; Evfra – I know I have done wrong, but I do not think it merits _that_ ,” he pleaded to the Resistance leader.

Evfra moved as if to hit the man, but Ryder stood up quickly and blocked him, ignoring the snarl of rage on his face and tried to stare him down. Looking into his eyes she was sure that if she had been _anyone_ else or not quite as close to him as she already was, he would have pushed her out of the way without hesitation. Well, he would have _tried_. She was angry enough to put up a fight.

“We’re doing this the right way, Evfra,” Ryder said to him as calmly as she could manage. “He deserves to prove his innocence.”

“This isn’t a human matter, Pathfinder,” Evfra said roughly, “he is _my_ man and I will deal with him as befits his crimes according to _our_ laws.”

“Crimes?!” Tajix exclaimed behind them, “I… I learned about the scientists held here, I just wanted to help,” he said in an increasingly dejected tone. “It’s… my fault this happened.”

“What?” Ryder asked, turning back and staring at him. “That’s not the story I would have expected from a criminal mastermind, but… I suppose it works.”

Tajix grimaced at her. “It’s not a story, it’s the truth! I couldn’t help, these scavengers ambushed my team and took me captive,” his eyes darted around as though looking for an escape route – or looking for his friends, Ryder amended, seeing the flash of anguish on his face when all he saw were strangers: krogan picking through the bodies of scavengers. His eyes fell to the ground in front of him, breath still labored with pain.

Watching him, a kernel of belief lodged itself in Ryder; it was madness, considering all the evidence, but she had fallen into too many traps by trusting evidence at face value and even SAM’s profile of Firaan just didn’t _quite_ fit. Her gut felt no threat from him, though she thought that may have been the sympathy talking in her head; she had rather liked Tajix, he had an endearing bookishness about him, although she suspected he had many deadly qualities. That, added to how miserable he looked made her _want_ to believe him, but at the same time there was just _enough_ evidence that her suspicions were by no means assuaged.

“What happened? Why is this your fault?” she asked.

Tajix looked up at her. “I encountered these people adrift in space,” he nodded vaguely at the camp. “I thought them harmless colonists, so I put them on a transport to Havarl with instructions to the pilot to take them anywhere else they chose. When I learned the truth – that the transport never arrived – I realized who they must have been. Stars be my witness! Somehow I managed to trace them to Elaaden; I _had_ to come to try to fix this, Evfra! I couldn’t tell you, not knowing if I had caused their deaths…” He meant the scientists, of course; Ryder’s heart went out to him at the mix of hope and fear in his eyes.

_Pathfinder, his explanation is plausible,_ SAM said. _Firaan may have manipulated events to use Tajix as a culprit, intended to be found by you and Evfra._

“So you set them up for their deaths to prove a _point_?” Evfra demanded, his voice laced with fury. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“No!” Tajix exclaimed, looking horrified. “I would never…”

“Firaan would, though,” Evfra cut in coldly. “Nothing you say convinces me that you’re not him.”

“Evfra, maybe…” Ryder began, but the Resistance leader cut her off.

“Just stay out of this, Pathfinder – Tajix is _my_ responsibility and he will pay the price for those lives.”

One glance at the expression on Tajix’s face at the confirmation of the scientists’ deaths finally convinced her completely. “I will _not_ stay out of it,” she glared at Evfra, “I’m not at all convinced that he is Firaan and since Firaan has done harm to _both_ our peoples, _I_ _get a say_. Tajix, where was your team ambushed?”

“I can lead you there,” he said hollowly.

“We’re going,” Ryder said, then again, with more emphasis, “we _are going_ , Evfra.” She searched around for Drack, not daring to leave Evfra alone with Tajix for even a second to go look for him, but she didn’t see him anywhere. With a sigh, she tapped her comms. “Drack?”

“ _Yeah?_ ”

“We’re taking the lone survivor of the prisoners to the Tempest, can you make it back on your own?”

“ _Yeah. See you there._ ”

With some difficulty Ryder and Jaal managed to pull Tajix up, where he wobbled uncertainly on trembling legs, so they supported him on either side until they reached the Nomad. Evfra followed behind, eyes never leaving the lieutenant. Ryder was grateful that he didn’t interfere, though she did think he could have _offered_ to help, at least. She would have rejected it, but the gesture would have been nice. Once they finally managed to settle Tajix, Ryder expected to have a glaring match with Evfra over the cramped seating arrangements – probably for offending some sense of ‘angaran honor’ regarding sitting next to enemies or some such utter nonsense – but thankfully he held his tongue. One of his blades was bared to be sure, but she could live with that as long as it was only a threat and not a prelude to hasty action.

With Tajix’s guidance, it did not take long for them to reach the site of what clearly had been a skirmish, judging by the scorched pieces of metal and what coalesced into bodies the closer they came. Even had Ryder not already decided that she didn’t think Tajix even remotely fit the role of the vague impression she had of who Firaan must be, SAM’s survey of the area confirmed that at least in this case, the evidence supported Tajix’s explanation of events. Then again it was also true that Firaan had managed to slaughter an entire camp of Roekaar from within and they had neither been prepared nor successful at stopping him; who was to say that he couldn’t arrange to be ambushed like this for their benefit and to spin a story good enough to get her and SAM on his side? It was that thought that made her dismiss the suspicion, though; she might be easily duped, but not SAM.

Throughout the short journey to the ambush site, the silence could have been cut with a knife it was so thick, but climbing back inside the Nomad to relay SAM’s findings, Ryder detected a new quality to the posture of the angarans. Jaal appeared the most at ease, if sitting on the edge of his seat taut as a whip coil could be said to be languorous, but Tajix’s expression had clouded with what she assumed were feelings of betrayal that Evfra had so completely disbelieved him, along with a permanent grimace of pain that he seemed to be fighting a losing battle against; and finally there was Evfra, a boulder of violence on a leash, casually examining his blade and very pointedly not looking at the wounded lieutenant.

“I think we need to talk aboard the Tempest,” Ryder said seriously, eyes on the Resistance leader alone now. She desperately wanted him to just cooperate with her on this, trust her instincts because she suddenly felt an opportunity in the situation, now that she was sure of Tajix; though, considering the lieutenant’s obvious anguish she felt a little heartless for taking advantage of it. No one objected, so Ryder took the Nomad back to the Tempest.

The last ten minutes of the journey were the worst; Tajix’s breathing was starting to rasp from effort and though Jaal attempted to keep him together as much as possible, without more expert medical attention Ryder wasn’t sure that the lieutenant would even make it aboard. Evfra didn’t seem particularly moved by the idea from what she could tell; their bond was no help there, her sense of him was a little muddled, probably overshadowed by her own anxiety. The last stretch she almost hit the cargo bay wall she drove up the Tempest’s ramp so fast, wheels burning a little as she brought it to a screeching stop and jumped out.

“He needs medical attention,” Ryder said to anyone who was listening, but Lexi was already there and together they managed to get him into the Med Bay.

“I can stop the bleeding, but he will need bedrest for a time, Ryder,” Lexi said, already at work. “Please, come back later.”

“We need answers from him,” Evfra growled.

“If you don’t leave now you won’t ever get answers out of him again,” Lexi said firmly, pausing long enough to give Evfra an uncompromising look.

“Peebee?” Ryder asked through the comm. “How is that scanner coming?”

“ _Ryder! It’s ready – well, it’s not, but it’s ready enough if you need me,_ ” Peebee answered amiably.

“Get down to the Med Bay with it,” Ryder said. Lexi gave her a flat look. “I’m sorry, but this is important,” she said to the doctor.

“So is saving his life – more so!”

“I agree, but a scan won’t hurt him and time is of the essence.”

Lexi frowned in displeasure. “I object to this strongly, Ryder, but I will allow it – as long as you make it quick and don’t get in my way.”

Ryder just nodded.

Moments later Peebee rushed in, holding a small device with a grin. “Where’s my test subject?”

“On the table,” Ryder nodded at Tajix. “Uh, why is it so small?” she asked, eyeing the device.

“Most of Nip was broken or useless, this is what’s left of the datacore. It’s like I took Nip’s brain and modified it to act like your omnitool,” Peebee hefted it.

“A remarkable bit of engineering,” Jaal said approvingly.

“I don’t mean to rush you, but this man is dying,” Lexi cut in a little frostily before Peebee could respond.

“Right!” Peebee exclaimed and aimed the device at Tajix, throwing a quick glare at Lexi before focusing on her work. “Here we go…”

Moments passed with agonizing slowness. The device didn’t seem to be doing anything, but Peebee seemed absorbed in the thing; she wasn’t in a sharing mood, though, her eyes were darting from line to line, mouth forming silent words and she remained completely oblivious to the increasingly intense scrutiny she was under.

“Well?” Ryder demanded impatiently, unable to wait any longer.

“Huh…” Peebee continued to frown down at the device, but finally she looked up at Tajix. “He’s not in here.”

“So it’s broken,” Evfra said flatly, “or it never worked to begin with.”

“Evfra, you realize that you _could_ be wrong about him, right? Tajix simply doesn’t fit the profile, no matter how you look at it,” Ryder said, exasperated and a little worried. If Evfra wouldn’t accept this as proof, she foresaw many damaging arguments between them that would only force them further apart; but she _would not_ back down now, not while Tajix was threatened by his impulsiveness. “The database is our only real lead on identifying Firaan, the chances that he’s _not_ in there is low enough that I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and so should you,” she added. Not that Peebee’s device was by any means conclusive proof, finding Firaan’s genetic identity in the database had been a wild guess in the first place, but her intuition told her that she was right about that, too.

“You don’t know him as I do,” Evfra shot back.

“Exactly!” Ryder threw up her hands. “You _know_ him, do you honestly believe he’s capable of the things Firaan has done?”

“I _thought_ I did, but…”

“You’re a match, Evfra,” Peebee cut in. They both looked at her, stunned into silence. “Nip works! Well, it’s a partial match, I should say. Some of your family is in here, though I suspect not all,” she added more gently, empathy silvering her voice.

Evfra grunted, looking away. If anything, her tone only irritated him. “So what does this prove?” he asked Ryder.

“It proves that…”

“Ahem,” Lexi cleared her throat, casting a pointed thunderous gaze at everyone.

“Sorry, Lexi,” Ryder said, immediately ushering everyone out, though they went promptly enough on their own under Lexi’s glare.

Once outside, Peebee cheerfully excused herself with a mumble and darted away before Ryder could say a word. Jaal stayed with them, though he hung back and was obviously reluctant to stick around while she and Evfra argued; a thought that made her feel a fool for sparring with the Resistance leader as she had in front of everyone. On reflection, it was becoming a strangely intimate dance of cuts and slashes between them that she felt uncomfortable airing around others, embarrassed that the man could provoke her to shouting in the first place.

“You can go,” Ryder told Jaal, giving him a small smile to show that she had no hard feelings for _him_. At least she could count on _one_ angara consistently to not question her every move.

“Stay strong,” Jaal murmured to Ryder, glancing significantly at Evfra before walking in the opposite direction Peebee had gone, presumably to tinker with whatever project he had going on in the cargo bay.

For a moment, Evfra and Ryder just stood there, glaring at each other. “So, how do we sort this out?” she asked finally, annoyed that she broke the silence first, but she didn’t have time for an elegant verbal duel that involved stretches of trying to outstrip the man in stubbornness.

“We go to Aya,” Evfra said, eyes narrowing.

“To hunt Firaan?”

“To bring Firaan to justice,” Evfra said, scar pulling at his lip in displeasure.

“Tajix is _not_ Firaan,” Ryder retorted.

“Your words grow stronger, but I have yet to see proof to back it up.”

“Why are you so convinced that it has to be Tajix?” Ryder demanded. “He _does not fit the profile_ , SAM says so, even _you_ cannot believe it! Maybe the database isn’t the strongest lead, but I think it counts in his favor that he doesn’t have a _single_ genetic match; it’s the only thing that ties Firaan to that facility in Voeld in the first place, it _has_ to mean something!”

“So what’s your plan, scan every single member of the Resistance to see if their families belong to a handful of genetic templates from centuries ago? That device is useless unless it points out the traitor and it doesn’t do that; so is your AI for that matter.”

Suddenly Ryder understood why Evfra clung so tightly to the idea of Tajix being Firaan; the Resistance would collapse under the weight of its own suspicion if they began to doubt their leader’s abilities or if they felt that he did not trust them any longer. He was right in a way, interrogating every member of the Resistance of higher rank would plant at least a few seeds of dissention, though she thought scanning them _could_ be done surreptitiously. More to the point, however, Ryder couldn’t maintain her anger at Evfra, knowing that his blindness was rooted in how deeply he cared for his people and the Resistance specifically. It _was_ a legitimate concern; it didn’t mean that he was right, just that he was desperate to close the investigation.

“Evfra, I cannot promise that we will find Firaan with this device, nor can I prove to you just yet beyond reproach that Tajix isn’t the one – but I promise you, we will do _everything_ in our power to figure it out without jeopardizing the Resistance.”

Evfra snorted. “You make that sound so easy.”

“I believe in you, Evfra – and so do they. If an alien can stand at your side no matter what outrageous claims are leveled against you, then they will have no choice but to fall in line… and there is nothing I won’t do to make sure that Firaan fails at trying to tear the Resistance apart. I would never have allowed you to take me prisoner otherwise.”

His expression changed, perhaps startled at her show of commitment despite their disagreement, but at the very least she caught him off balance with her abrupt shift in tone. After a long moment he sighed, looking down at her with a mix of emotions that sent a thrill through her. Whenever he looked at her that way she felt all their fighting and the misery they went through together was worth it. Jaal’s warning still echoed in her mind, a cold ball of anxiety about what all of this was doing to him, but she couldn’t help but want to draw closer anyway, even if she was burned for it.

“Let’s figure out a strategy,” Ryder said, taking his hand and drawing him to her quarters. She fully intended to do just that, but as they passed the threshold and stepped inside she felt a now familiar tingle in the hand that held his shoot from her fingertips to the rest of her and she stopped, turning back to him.

Evfra hesitated, looking troubled, but through it all the feeling in those stormy eyes strengthened. “I’ve lost control of so much recently,” he said, holding her gaze with his own. “I don’t like not understanding what is happening, and you… you’ve persisted, argued with me at every turn, made my blood boil with such anger and desire and every time I think you’ve finally driven me out of my mind you steal another piece of me.”

“That sounds… confusing,” Ryder said, a little breathless with the tightness in her chest. What could she say to all of that? Perhaps Jaal was right; perhaps he would put an end to it now that…

“I love you,” he said softly and kissed her.


	17. Cyclone

_I love you._ The thought was caught in a loop inside Ryder’s head while her eyes kept straying to Evfra’s office; she and Peebee had been making rounds at Resistance headquarters and the nearer they drew to that door, the more distracted she had become, until finally she simply drew to a halt in the middle of the corridor just outside his door, lost in the memory of her last exchange with the Resistance leader.

“Here?” Peebee asked in a low voice, frowning around; her eye caught on someone and she sighed. “Yeah. Alright. Act casual and I’ll keep talking at you.” In a louder tone of voice the asari launched into a very technical explanation of her theory on how to interface with RemTech, knowing what she did now from watching her and SAM do it and Ryder just nodded occasionally, giving the outward appearance that she was both paying attention and following along. Anyone who knew Peebee would have seen through it, of course, especially considering the odd object she clutched in her hands, ever so casually pointing at the fighter leaning against the wall across from them.

Ryder wasn’t listening to the thousandth narration on the subject, though. She was too stunned… and conflicted. Again, her eyes seemed to dwell on Evfra’s door and she bit her lip before she caught herself and wiped her face of all traces of the anxiety she felt. How could she reciprocate the man’s confession when she _knew_ what kind of pressure it put on him? By the same token, how could she _not_ when she desired nothing else now? He had lashed out so much already just being around her; it was clear that she shouldn’t let this happen, not if she truly cared about the man himself _and_ the angara in general, yet the moment those words fell from his lips she was spellbound and unable to feel anything except joy.

When Ryder finally tore her eyes away from the Resistance leader’s door to keep up the appearance of listening to her companion, her eyes fell on the fighter Peebee was scanning; he was an exceptionally tall angara with a vibrant, almost turquoise blue complexion that was quite soothing. His expression was much less welcoming, though, and Ryder hastily tore her eyes away so as to not arouse the man’s suspicions. She opened her mouth to say that he didn’t fit their profile, but didn’t get a chance to before her companion abruptly shifted in direction.

“So, what do you think of that?” Peebee asked and promptly fell silent.

Ryder blinked at her. “Uh, I…” she cast about her mind to summon the last thing that Peebee had said, but she drew a complete blank. “Have you ever thought of writing all this down?” she asked finally. She was rather proud of herself for thinking of that question; it neither required her to know what the archeologist had said, nor did it break their cover.

Peebee’s expression said she was less impressed with it. She glanced down as she was opening her mouth to reply when the device gave a subtle flash to indicate a scan completed. “I _have_ written it all down…” she said simply, but she sounded as distracted as Ryder felt. Her eyes were still on the device and stayed there for a time; finally she raised her head and stepped up to the angara she had just been scanning.

Just at that moment Evfra’s door opened and Ryder’s eyes – and whole attention – immediately latched onto him as he stepped out with one of his lieutenants, panicked at facing him again without having come to a decision about what to say to him, which was immediately followed by relief as she realized that they were in public. He was hardly about to talk about their relationship where anyone at all could overhear. As she calmed, she became aware of the satisfying feeling of a thirst quenched that spread in her at the sight of him; she hadn’t even realized how much she wanted to be close to him again until the desire had suddenly been fulfilled. Perhaps that was because of her yearning to tell him that she felt the same as he did; if only she knew for sure that what they would have beyond that wouldn’t be more damaging to him than their relationship already had been.

“Ugh. Just answer the question, why do you have to make this difficult? Do you _remember_ being in a kett labor camp or not?” Peebee demanded from the angaran fighter.

“I’ve never been to one!” the fighter replied. “I told you already!”

“I know you haven’t – that wasn’t the question!”

Suddenly Ryder’s mind caught up to the conversation she had been half-listening to between Peebee and the fighter and a different kind of panic jellied her insides. She turned away from Evfra and, trying to be as casual as possible, took Peebee by the arm and steered her away from the glowering angara.

“Peebee what are you _doing_?” Ryder asked, trying to make her voice a little less strangled.

“He’s the most fascinating match I’ve ever _seen_ , Ryder!” Peebee said in a low voice, but her grin was so pleased that it practically shouted.

“That’s no reason to start interrogating him like that! We’re _guests_ here – non-interfering guests,” Ryder emphasized, casting a paranoid eye around her and noting with displeasure the fighter still frowning at them. Her eyes snapped to Evfra almost inevitably and she winced at the reflex, tearing her eyes away. “Let’s talk about this later.”

“Ryder,” Peebee caught her shoulder before she could turn away, speaking urgently in an almost whisper. “I think Nip can actually _see_ how an angara _reincarnates_.”

Ryder stared at her. “Impossible,” she said in a louder voice than she had intended.

“Or whatever passes for it,” Peebee amended impatiently, “that sulking tower over there is a match but his DNA _isn’t in there_ , Ryder!”

“Alright, just… don’t talk to anyone else before checking with me,” Ryder massaged the bridge of her nose; her mind felt like an attic with loose floor beams about to snap under the weight of every new astonishing revelation the universe threw at her.

“You got it,” Peebee said, smiling with a conspiratorial wink before casually sauntering in Evfra’s direction.

Ryder followed with a sigh. Conspiratorial was the _last_ thing she wanted to be associated with while they were here; but it was too much to hope that Peebee would stop getting a kick out of the entire experience and showing it. As their steps neared the Resistance leader she noted that the lieutenant he had been speaking to was Saar; one of her _least_ favorite angarans in general. The feeling was mutual, judging by the suspicious stare he leveled at Ryder, but then she already knew that. She gave him a frosty smile before turning a polite gaze to Evfra. She wanted to bury herself in his arms and run away to never see him again all at the same time.

“Pathfinder,” Evfra said formally, “Before we begin discussions on reopening diplomatic relations, I want to show you something that may interest you.”

“Hey there!” Peebee said to Saar with a cheerful smile. “Do you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?” she asked in a very innocent voice.

Ryder smiled slightly. Saar wouldn’t know what hit him.

“Go on, then,” Evfra said impatiently, cutting the lieutenant off before he could protest.

“But Evfra, the plans…” he said a little weakly, but he wilted under the Resistance leader’s no-nonsense glower. “Very well,” he said irritably, glaring at Peebee.

“Excellent!” Peebee exclaimed, dragging him back into Evfra’s office by the arm.

“What did you want to show me?” Ryder asked Evfra, forcing professionalism on herself like a second skin.

“This way,” Evfra gestured and led her down the corridor that by now she knew would take them to the training grounds of all places.

Ryder frowned, but followed without protest; though, she felt queasy from the mix of apprehension and giddiness in her stomach the longer she was this close to the Resistance leader, the feeling twisting around even harder as she wondered where he was taking her. She studied her surroundings curiously, trying to distract herself; they passed a group of sullen fighters just returned from practice, judging by the relaxed tiredness of their movements, but other than that the only remarkable thing was Aya’s serenity seeping through the walls, the sounds of rushing water complementing each breath of the humid air. They descended to the lowest level before finally she followed Evfra through the only door remaining ahead of them.

As they entered the small antechamber on the other side of the door Ryder very much wanted to ask Evfra what they were doing there; surely he didn’t intend to spar with her? The chamber was small, with just enough room for the teams to prepare themselves before entering the training grounds proper through the opposite entrance; already here the ground was dirt, not tiles, and instead of the smooth white walls of the rest of the Resistance headquarters, here the walls were rough stone, as though hewn from the bedrock of Aya itself. It was quiet with a cool, musty scent that she associated with caves. It was actually quite relaxing, she realized, as though they had entered a void where the outside world just ceased. They were also _alone_.

Without preamble or a single word, Evfra stopped, turned and gathered her into his arms with a kiss. Ryder just melted there for a moment, overwhelmed with the suddenness of the gesture while brimming with a joy almost painful in intensity. She let herself indulge in the comfort of his warmth and that moonkissed scent of his, but as the moment stretched anguish wormed its way through her. Thoughts of pushing this away and denying their intertwined feelings because it was the right thing to do raced across her mind, while at the same time she tried to savor the feeling of being so close to him while she still could. All too soon he pulled back slowly, studying her face as though memorizing it; maybe he sensed a finality to the kiss, too, knew what she was going to say. His eyes were thawing ice, intense and serious with winter’s heart raging but bathed in soft warmth for her that made her heart twist.

“Evfra, I… what you said yesterday,” she began awkwardly. She could do this. She would somehow grit her teeth and survive it, too; but even before saying anything her heart already bled until she felt like ripping it out of her chest to be done with it. He was patiently waiting for her to continue, not a single line in his face betraying that he knew what was coming; she tried to remind herself that she would be saving him from a greater pain in the long run, but the trouble was that she didn’t really believe it, whatever Jaal said and whatever her mind understood about the precariousness of their situation. _He’s already in love… both of us are! How can you step back from that without breaking?_ she thought. “We had to go before I could…” she tried to continue, but her voice failed her.

Evfra snorted, not waiting for her to gather herself. “You don’t have to say anything. How I feel is not going to change. You infuriate me, but you are a part of me in a way I did not think was possible any longer, and I need you… but I can restrain myself, if that is what you…”

“I love you,” Ryder cut in, nearly swallowing her tongue as she realized what she had said and she dropped her eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m worried, too,” she added, unable to stop herself, “that I am your weakness now, I _refuse_ to be that – but I cannot stop thinking about how all of this could go so wrong, so much depends on us… I’m looking over my shoulders all the time, wondering if Firaan is going to strike out of nowhere and steal this,” she placed a hand gently on his chest, trying to blink away the tears burning her eyes. “I just don’t know how to…” she looked up again and her words dwindled to nothing when she took it in that Evfra was smiling.

 _Smiling_. Ryder was so startled that her anxiety abruptly parted as if she had emerged from a thick fog into sunlight; it was as disorienting as it was magnificent and so very _right_. Seeing that smile she felt warmth spread through her and she realized that she had made the right choice, if only because just for that moment she had given Evfra something wonderful. She couldn’t go back now, she could never bring herself take that smile away when it was everything she had wanted to give him, but suddenly she wasn’t sure if _she_ could get through this without breaking. Having this, and having it taken away…

“You must remain a secret still,” Evfra said, smile fading to seriousness as he caressed one of her cheeks, “but I will take all the moments I can.”

“I…” Ryder gave in. She giggled before she could stop herself. It was all just so incredible that she was half convinced a good pinch would finally wake her up from this peculiar mix of fantasy and nightmare that their whole story was, but right then she decided that she just wasn’t willing to fight this any longer; particularly considering how very much she wanted it. She let out a breath, feeling as though a great burden had been lifted from her. “How long do you think we can stay here before someone notices?” she asked with a smile. Her heart was already drowning in emotion, but the strongest thing she felt was an intense desire to just lose herself in their feelings for one another.

Evfra grimaced. “Not long enough,” he said.

“Oh, well. I suppose we can always arrange a… diplomatic visit to the Tempest?” she suggested innocently.

“You might as well paint it on a sign and march through Aya with it,” Evfra said sardonically.

“Maybe someone will shoot me again,” she said. It would be worth the pain to get him alone for a little longer in his room.

“If you make your excuses any more obvious, I really will have to step down before you get us both killed trying,” he grunted.

Ryder sighed. “This is going to be difficult, isn’t it?”

Evfra shrugged. “Has it ever been simple? Come. I am sure your asari friend has reduced Saar to either pleading or shooting by now and I haven’t shown you yet what we came here to see.”

Ryder grinned at him. So there _was_ a legitimate reason for them being here. “Oh, yes. Best not leave those two alone for long.”

Before he pulled the door leading onto the training grounds open however, she quickly stole another kiss that he willingly obliged her with, arms tightening around her as though he intended more, but disappointingly he stopped after a long moment and let her go. After they parted she had to fight hard to suppress her glowing smile and they emerged with a firm two paces between them. Glancing up to the upper level overlooking the field, she noticed one or two angara hanging about engaged in conversation, but no one seemed to be paying them any mind. She also recognized the quartermaster as she passed out of sight without looking down, but going by her disapproving frown she had at least glimpsed Ryder emerge from the antechamber; there was no love lost there.

Her exchange with Evfra was like a shining talisman in Ryder’s chest that buoyed her from the burdens they faced, but enough of it crashed back home that she didn’t have to fake her worried frown as Evfra lead her to a more secluded spot where someone could ostensibly find excellent cover. She wasn’t sure what she was seeing at first; a small disk was half buried there, but she gasped when the realization hit her: it was a bomb.

“We disabled it,” Evfra assured her, “I gave the order to hide its existence, but you needed to see it.”

Ryder knelt down to inspect it closer. “It doesn’t look Initiative… is he slipping up? Or does he just not care about the setup anymore?”

“Something definitely changed,” Evfra agreed. “This was taken directly from our supplies. It went missing some time ago, but there is no way to tell how long it’s been sitting here. It was found this morning. Thank the Stars that Istaal didn’t tell anyone that one was missing before she told me.” So _that_ was why the quartermaster had been frowning like that; maybe she hadn’t seen Ryder at all.

Ryder shivered as she studied it. “This could have ended very badly… who found it?”

“Ira, one of my fighters. He almost set it off,” Evfra frowned in disapproval.

“I have to ask… why did you leave it here for anyone to find?”

Evfra grimaced. “To be safe.”

“I’m… not sure I follow that logic,” Ryder said, not sure whether she should laugh or not. Sometimes she was convinced that Evfra was secretly a mastermind of sarcasm, but his insults were so cunningly disguised that most people didn’t realize they were being mocked. At other times, though, he didn’t seem to _have_ a sense of humor. It was difficult to tell the difference sometimes.

He gestured around. “This place is a deathtrap. Anyone who has ever trained here learns that very quickly when practicing. It’s inviting, because it’s good cover, so fresh recruits often make that mistake.”

“Ira is a new recruit?”

“No,” Evfra said with a hint of disapproving resignation in his voice. “He just doesn’t learn.”

“So… I still don’t follow how this makes this safer than just getting rid of it.”

“It would take time to safely extract it, and since the only fighter of mine who would go there is the only one who currently _knows_ it’s there – I think it’s a great deal safer and quieter to just leave it until nightfall.”

Ryder stared at him, then softly said, “Evfra, I love you, but sometimes you make absolutely no sense.”

Evfra let out a soft laugh that made Ryder almost gape at him in wonder; instead, she buried a smile behind a hand and struggled to suppress it. Her good humor didn’t last very long, though; there was something about this entire situation that was just bizarre. So far Firaan had been excessively clever with his designs, every step was calculated to produce maximum damage without ever expending too much energy that might allow him to be discovered. _This_ , however… she would have expected an Initiative explosive at the very least, and she definitely expected it somewhere else.

“If I were Firaan,” she said aloud, staring at the bomb. “I would have put it where I knew for sure someone would step on it… maybe I would implicate myself somehow, but a bomb like this doesn’t leave a lot of room for finesse in that regard. Not to mention that killing angara with an angaran weapon only points a finger at a traitor in their midst, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

 _Pathfinder,_ SAM’s voice made her pause, _it is logical to assume that whoever placed this bomb tried to execute the plan while sacrificing as few members of the Resistance as possible. This avoidance of significant collateral damage indicates that he is concerned about their well-being and would only sacrifice as few of them if it was necessary._

“So he’s _definitely_ Resistance… and ironically loyal to it.”

“All villains eventually break their pattern,” Evfra said. “He could be running out of ideas – we managed to beat him back so far.”

Ryder nodded, though she wasn’t convinced. Something about that explanation still seemed slightly off, but she didn’t have a better one. “SAM, do you see anything useful here?”

 _I do not detect anything of relevance that would help us identify Firaan, Pathfinder,_ SAM informed her and she sighed, disappointed.

“There’s not a lot here to go on,” she looked up at Evfra.

Evfra grunted in frustration. “Even when he makes mistakes it seems we are always a few steps behind everything he does. How he could plant this without anyone noticing is something I look forward to learning,” he added darkly.

“We do have a loose timeframe for that at least,” Ryder speculated. “Anyone who was on Aya and went in or out of the training grounds up until this morning is a suspect, but it’s still a much shorter list of suspects than every member of the Resistance.”

 _Pathfinder, by my previous analysis it is unlikely that someone of a lower rank would have access to the necessary systems,_ SAM noted.

“Yes, I remember,” Ryder nodded. “We’re looking for Resistance members of higher rank; that narrows the list even more – can we track who was in here since Istaal noticed the bomb was gone?”

Evfra grimaced. “Not reliably. We have no reason to monitor something like that. Sooner or later all my lieutenants and commanders come here while they are on Aya. Come, let us return to my office.”

Ryder stood and followed him back; their hands met briefly in the antechamber, but they had no chance for anything more as the door off the hallway suddenly opened, revealing a group of angara dressed for battle. Some pulled up short, surprised to find them there, while others merely nodded or murmured in respect and passed the Resistance leader. Ryder was actually a little taken aback that more of them didn’t seem surprised to see her there. Again, the thought seemed to tickle something in the back of her mind, but she wasn’t sure what it was exactly.

As they walked back to Evfra’s office, Ryder focused on the people they passed, thoughts of Firaan and the conspiracy prominent in Ryder’s mind. Earlier in the day when she and Peebee had made their casual rounds, she had pointed out the commanders and lieutenants she recognized to the asari archeologist, but she had to wonder how many had slipped through their fingers because she didn’t know all their faces, especially the ones of lower rank. She knew a lot of the lieutenants much more intimately than she cared to.

Peebee, of course, had not discriminated when it came to who she scanned; it was part conspiracy, part experiment to her and Ryder hadn’t seen a reason to stop her, really. At least that way there was a chance that they scanned someone she wouldn’t have recognized on her own. If only SAM could somehow reconstruct who had been where the way he did on Eos, she could have just figured it out on the training grounds… but of course, these weren’t Initiative headquarters or Initiative people and that limited SAM’s capabilities. Conventional ‘follow the paper trail’ detective work was also out; unfortunately for their investigation, the Resistance did not have a fixed hierarchy that spread to all their worlds and Evfra didn’t track every movement of each of his people, nor could he if he tried in all likelihood. It all made her sigh in frustration, but inspiration seized her when she glimpsed the doors to Evfra’s office.

She caught up to the Resistance leader; those formal two steps between them had widened while she mused. “Evfra,” she called to him and he slowed, waiting a moment for her to catch up. When she reached him, in a low voice she added, “I think we can use the bomb.”

“I fail to see where I like this plan,” Evfra said flatly, giving her a look. He slowed, however, delaying the time it took to reach his office.

“I mean we should call your commanders and lieutenants together and directly confront them with the knowledge.” Ryder matched his pace, but they reached the doors quickly enough anyway, so she drew to a halt.

“What would that accomplish?” Evfra stopped with her. “It would give away our only advantage over Firaan,” he added disapprovingly.

“We can use his apparent love for the Resistance against him, force him out by confirming everyone else’s innocence. SAM can monitor everyone and tell me the moment someone looks too nervous.”

“If he’s not on Aya, that will only warn him that we know his game,” Evfra argued.

“It’s worth the risk! If he’s _not_ here, we can at least know for sure that everyone who _is_ on Aya we can trust. This bomb was a huge slip up – it’s one of yours in your headquarters and it almost killed one of your fighters. Maybe he’s not here and we drive him into hiding, but then at least we have that much more time to recover what shreds remain of diplomacy between our people, we could unravel some of the damage he’s done.”

Evfra was silent for a long moment, considering her with his arms crossed, silver eyes shifting in the light. She could have happily drowned in them any other time, but at the moment she was too intent on convincing him that her plan _would_ work.

“Please,” she said, “this is the first time we’ve been _so_ close, because whatever his plan was, he failed this time – it’s worth the risk!”

“Alright,” Evfra said gruffly, irritated but at least he was willing to indulge her. He strode into his office, making Saar inside jump. Peebee, Ryder noted behind Evfra with annoyance, was nowhere to be found. “Saar! I want everyone out of here who isn’t a commander or a lieutenant, then I want you fetch every one of them in here. Now!”

“Yes, Evfra!” Saar said, clearly startled by the instructions, but not hesitating. A muscle in his face twitched when his eyes landed on Ryder, but he did not linger on her long before he dashed out.

It only took a handful of minutes for Saar to gather everyone requested; the headquarters weren’t all that large, after all. Peebee trailed behind the first group of ranking officers, looking put out at first as her quarry – whoever it was among the group – clearly ignored her, but she brightened as she took in the room and realized what must be happening. By the time the room was almost half full, Ryder was having serious doubts about her plan, but she kept going over her reasoning and she still agreed with all its points. It was only nerves.

“Ryder!” Peebee exclaimed, sidling up to her the moment she spotted her while the doorway was still filled with angara filing in. “This device can _definitely_ draw lines between souls! It might turn out to be superstition of course, but it _seems_ to think that it makes sense, each time the scans come out matching the same DNA code, which means that…”

“Peebee,” Ryder cut in, “keep it short, we’re doing something here.” The instant Ashae stepped across the threshold their eyes met and bile rose in Ryder’s throat. By the woman’s expression, she still wanted to shoot her and that did nothing to make her like the woman.

“Right! Okay,” Peebee said, following Ryder’s gaze. “That one and this Saar fellow,” she nodded at Ashae, then at Saar, “both are in the database, but all the other lieutenants are clear.”

“Commanders?” Ryder asked, trying to suppress her excitement to learn that Ashae was definitely a suspect.

“Too many, not enough time,” Peebee said hastily as Evfra opened his mouth and silence swept over the room.

“Someone in this room has betrayed us,” the Resistance leader said coldly; gasps and exclamations of outrage suffused the crowd and Ryder’s eyes darted between them.

 _Monitoring heart rates and blood pressure,_ SAM said. _The tension level in the room is high. Filtering._

“This morning a bomb was found on the training grounds. One of our own almost tripped over it – I want to know which of you it was and why he or she decided to kill their own.”

_Three lieutenants and two commanders are reacting the strongest. Ryder, I believe Saar is the culprit._

“You?” Ryder exclaimed, staring at Saar in shock.

The lieutenant jumped. “What…?”

“Why would you do this?” Ryder demanded, still not quite able to grasp that Saar was a serious suspect. She cut him off before he could get a protest out. “Don’t bother denying it, your pulse is racing,” she accused.

The lieutenant sputtered for a moment, looking outraged, but his eyes caught on Evfra’s face; not a shred of doubt was there. Moreover, the Resistance leader looked about ready to murder him. Ryder sincerely hoped that he had learned from the last time and wouldn’t leap at the lieutenant before they could definitely _prove_ that he was Firaan, but it seemed like so far she needn’t worry about that.

Sighing, Saar looked directly in her eyes. “Because I heard a rumor that _you_ would be in there… and everyone falls for that trap their first time.”

Dead silence fell over the room.


	18. Crack in the Ice

Ryder stared at Saar for a long time. “You tried to kill me,” she said finally, trying to reconcile herself with the thought. It wasn’t exactly shocking, Saar was definitely not a fan of either her or the Initiative, but _this_ … “That’s a pretty extreme solution.”

“Nothing else would keep you away,” Saar said angrily. “Every time you come here, something terrible happens to our people! When I learned Evfra had released you…”

“You _stole my ship_!” Ryder exclaimed. “And then sent it off on its merry way to destroy the Nexus, wasn’t that payback enough?”

_Pathfinder, it is unlikely that Saar is one and the same as Firaan,_ SAM put in. Ryder bit back a retort that he was pointing out the obvious; the last thing she needed was to be seen talking to herself before people already doubting her in every way possible.

Saar stood up straighter. “Those were Evfra’s _orders_. I do not like you, but I would not have done that.” He gave Evfra an apologetic look that the Resistance leader ignored.

Ryder shook her head. Denying the legitimacy of those orders would not cast a favorable light on Evfra; not correcting the lieutenant grated on her, though. “And the best plan you could come up with was to blow me up in the training grounds? Saar… I was a _prisoner_ not so long ago, as you yourself pointed out, do you _really_ think anyone would spar with me?”

“Evfra would,” the lieutenant said bitterly. “I found out that he wanted to test his skills against the human Pathfinder to prove once and for all that the angara are the superior fighters,” he added, drawing himself up a little straighter.

“Who told you that?” Evfra demanded with disgust.

“The rumor was everywhere. I was assigning rotations to the fighters when they told me,” Saar answered stiffly.

Ryder slapped a hand to her forehead. “Of _course_! That’s what was bothering me so much,” she addressed Evfra, “you remember those fighters we passed earlier?”

Evfra nodded, clearly not understanding what she was getting at.

“Not a one reacted right. Some were surprised, but not because they found you alone with the 'treacherous Milky Way alien, just that we were _there_ , in that particular place, not sparring and obviously not returning from one, either.”

“You mean they must have thought I had announced it to everyone…” Evfra said slowly, “because you wouldn’t _do_ anything to me while everyone knew we were there,” he added dryly. “Their confidence is… inspiring.”

Ryder fought to keep her lips from quirking into a smile. She knew how Evfra had meant that sentence, but she couldn’t help imaging their kisses exchanged there; if Saar knew about _that_ , he would have apoplexy. So would have any of the rest of them, she suspected.

“Wait,” Ashae spoke up before they could continue, “Evfra, you’re going to _trust_ her word? How do we know she hasn’t coerced Saar into saying these things?”

Ryder almost gaped at her. “Saar just admitted to planting an actual bomb to kill me,” she said. “How exactly do you think I can coerce someone into doing that?”

“And you’re alive,” Ashae frowned with distaste. “Clearly it was never your intention to go anywhere near the training grounds, you must have known. Someone had to take the fall and if it was one of us, then you gain our sympathy.” There was no evidence of said sympathy in any of them as far as Ryder could tell.

“I presume,” Evfra cut in, “that the Pathfinder has a good explanation,” he looked at her. “I hope you do – a very good one.”

Ryder glared at him, frustrated. She had seen him study the room, knew that he had to show them that he wasn’t biased towards her even slightly, but it was a little unfair to make _her_ come up with all the explanations. After all, she was certain that no one in the room trusted her word to begin with, especially not as long as Ashae was there to challenge her every word. What could she say that would convince them?

“Why don’t you ask Saar if he’s been coerced?” she asked finally, unable to think of anything else to say or ask.

“He would answer the same as before,” Ashae said dismissively.

“Well, _you_ shot me, didn’t you? Did you need coercing to do that?” Ryder asked angrily. “Is it really so much of a stretch to think that another one of you would try a violent approach?”

Mutters filled the room and Ashae glanced around. “True,” she said grudgingly, much to Ryder’s surprise.

“Look, your main concern is that I’m influencing Evfra… whatever that means,” she continued. “But when the Initiative was suspect, he didn’t hesitate to detain me – I’m not seeing how you can interpret that as having too much influence of any kind.”

“Perhaps Evfra doesn’t realize that we’ve seen how he’s allowed you to lead him away from his duties again and again,” Ashae said, giving Evfra a level look, “all in the name of keeping your Initiative safe. Even as a prisoner he’s taken you with him – and what is a prisoner if she is allowed her freedom?”

“Enough, Ashae,” Evfra growled, “if you doubt my resolve or my focus, you will address your concerns to _me_.”

“I meant no disrespect, Evfra,” Ashae bowed her head, but she didn’t look humbled in the slightest.

“I understand why you are suspicious of outsiders,” Ryder began calmly, but Ashae cut her off.

“You understand _nothing_ , human,” she said icily.

“Yeah? Well, you sound an _awful_ lot like a Roekaar,” Ryder shot back. To her surprise, she heard a few appreciative murmurs from the crowd.

Ashae trembled visibly. “How _dare_ you,” she growled.

“We are the vanguards against the Milky Way aliens, just as we protect our people from the kett,” Saar said abruptly and Ashae cut her eyes at him.

“Hold your tongue until you have something worthwhile to say,” she snapped.

“No,” Evfra crossed his arms, “let him speak. Tell me, Saar, just how many Roekaar sympathizers are nesting among us?” His choice of words made everyone freeze for a moment, shocked that he would echo Ryder’s sentiment; but then again, maybe it was just that they were genuinely concerned that he mistrusted them now.

Saar hesitated, apparently regretting speaking up. “I… spoke boldly, no one has any intention of acting against the aliens,” his glance at Ryder and Peebee spoke plainly of who he meant.

Evfra glared around at everyone. “All of you take orders from _me_ , you do _not_ get to make decisions about what I do about _any_ aliens. Is that clear?” A murmur of ascent rippled through the gathered angara, but Evfra didn’t appear overly satisfied; he merely began to study Saar intently. “Ashae, has Saar been to Havarl or Voeld recently to your knowledge?”

“No,” Ashae replied, narrowing her eyes in confusion.

Ryder studied him for a moment. She was convinced that Saar wasn’t Firaan, but she wasn’t sure if Evfra interpreted the clues they found as she did; they hadn’t really had the opportunity to talk it over very thoroughly. Of course, it _was_ possible that Firaan had broken his pattern, but she did not believe it, not going by how clever the rest of his traps were. To her eyes, what she and Evfra had found on the training grounds had been a perfect trap for a _traitor_ , not for the Initiative and that made no sense if Firaan had done it for his own purposes.

That Firaan was behind it all in a more general sense she had no doubts about at all, though. The more she thought about it, Ryder had to grudgingly admit that she respected how devious Firaan was; so far he had managed to not only keep a step ahead, but he seemed to have contingency plans within plans, correctly predicting their every move as far as she could tell. Either that or he had flawless recovery. Not to mention that he was an excellent manipulator to be able to push Saar to attempt her murder _just_ when they were about to flush out the real culprit; obviously he knew the lieutenant well enough to know what buttons to push and that was a valuable clue in and of itself. Not very helpful at the moment, but once they had a better suspect…

“What to do with you,” Evfra said to Saar coldly and Ryder’s attention returned to the matter at hand. The lieutenant increasingly seemed crushed by his predicament, judging by how he cast his eyes down and how his shoulders slumped. Despite being his intended victim, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the lieutenant anyway; he was misguided, but he had been used just as she had been.

“Evfra,” Ashae spoke up, “you cannot blame Saar for wanting to protect you from outside influences. If you have no issue with what I did, you cannot have issue with this.”

“I _can_ have issue with it, Ashae,” Evfra retorted, “he almost killed one of our own to get to the Pathfinder!”

“But he did not,” Ashae replied calmly. “He chose a good spot, if everyone _remembered_ the way they should that the place is a trap, none of us were in any real danger.”

“One thing disturbs me,” a commander spoke up that Ryder did not know by name, though she recognized his face. “Saar, you said that there was a rumor about the human going to spar with Evfra, but neither of _them_ seems to know that they were going to. Who started the rumor? And why?”

“Enough speculation,” Evfra said before Saar could respond, his eyes still on the lieutenant. “Lock him up. I will decide what to do later. The rest of you, leave me now and do not speak of this further until I tell you otherwise.”

A few sullen stares greeted that decision, but Saar was led away; Ashae and a few others gave Ryder accusing glares, clearly blaming her for their lieutenant’s predicament, but she paid them no mind, instead studying Evfra with a frown. She felt for him, but she wasn’t sure that he had made the right decision here; she was certain that partly he wanted to punish Saar because he had disobeyed him, but also she suspected that he was angry the lieutenant’s actions had threatened her. It was certainly a thrilling notion that made her want to kiss him, but Ashae and her ilk would not be pleased that he took her safety that much to heart. She looked around and realized that Peebee had gone out with everyone else, leaving Evfra and her alone.

“Evfra – you realize he can’t be Firaan. After what Saar gave as an explanation, I just can’t believe that he’s _clever_ enough to be Firaan… he’s been set up, just like Tajix was. That commander was right, too; _someone_ started that rumor circulating.”

Evfra nodded. “But he _is_ a conspirator. I suspect Firaan sent a message to him that I set you free. But even if Saar is not behind everything, he betrayed my trust and intended to kill you,” the coldness in his voice as he said that last made her smile slightly. “I’m still not excluding Tajix,” he added, “he was there when I released you and had plenty of opportunity to work on Saar… and who else? How many of my own must betray me before we find him?”

“This whole thing bothers me, it’s as if he were sending us a neatly wrapped package with ‘substitute super villain!’ scrawled across it,” Ryder said with a sigh. “Is that an insult? Did he get sloppy? Or is this part of some grand machination that we can’t see the steps of until it’s too late?”

“Why would he do any such thing?” Evfra asked, frowning.

“It’s a metaphor… sort of. What I meant was that he must not think much of our detective skills if he thinks that we were fooled into believing Saar is the culprit, I mean, just the _placement_ of that bomb alone didn’t fit Firaan’s M.O. at all to begin with.”

Evfra sighed irritably. “Your idioms make less sense the more we talk.”

“You need a better translator.”

“Or you could simply speak plainly for once,” he frowned.

“Firaan wouldn’t care about collateral damage,” Ryder explained. “He killed an entire daar of Roekaar just to make the Resistance suspicious – though, I’m starting to think that was more about silencing them to make sure we couldn’t trace him… eventually _someone_ would figure out that they were Roekaar, so it only gave him a temporary edge. It seems like a foolish risk, unless his main goal there was that he didn’t want them talking.”

“Agreed,” Evfra said.

“But this rumor he planted, though…” Ryder began to pace up and down. “It’s almost as though Firaan doesn’t want me dead, just following his breadcrumbs – his clues,” she added, rolling her eyes at Evfra’s grimace. “He’s been a manipulator from the start, not one who chooses the direct approach. He could have killed me and probably Nexus leadership as well right off, leaving everyone scrambling and vulnerable to attack, but _instead_ he’s chosen specific targets to provoke _us_ into acting the way he wants…”

“I’m sure Firaan has your best interests at heart,” Evfra said dryly.

Ryder stopped pacing and turned back to him, troubled. “You were right… this plan might just have cost us the chance to learn who Firaan really is. Worse, now there are cracks appearing in the Resistance… it’s almost as if this was what Firaan had _really_ been intending, for us to do this.”

Evfra snorted. “Don’t be a fool, you and I are Firaan’s favorite pawns,” he said sourly. “He will keep toying with us and he _will_ make mistakes again. As to trust… I have to earn theirs, but they also have to earn mine. We still have the advantage as long as I can keep them focused on trying to _keep_ my trust.”

“But in reality we’re back to not being able to trust anyone,” Ryder said in frustration. “Firaan wasn’t behind the bomb, only the messages that provoked Saar into action, so the only thing we achieved was to publicly detain one of your most loyal lieutenants… I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner.” The more she thought about it, the more dismayed she felt; they _had_ been playing into his plans yet again, she was convinced.

“That was a bold move,” Evfra observed. “He has gone to great lengths to avoid leaving traces in our communications system before.”

“You’re right,” Ryder said. “He probably had a separate system to communicate with the Roekaar, but all his plays with the Resistance had to have been in person if he didn’t want to leave a trail – except for this _one_ time. That means that he was on Voeld with us… or arrived there shortly after we left, I suppose.” She sighed. There were so many members of the Resistance going to and from Voeld, following that trail would probably go cold quickly. _If for no other reason, the ice and snow will do it_ , she thought, not really relishing the idea of going back again, but she had the nagging suspicion that she would have to.

“There are still a few I know I can trust,” Evfra said. “I think it’s time to involve Ashae, she personally recruited more fighters than anyone else, including many who have since become commanders, even lieutenants. If anyone could detect suspicious behavior, it’s her.”

“Damn it Evfra, _no_! The woman _shot_ me!”

“Because she believed you were influencing me – which is true, she wasn’t wrong about you,” Evfra frowned at her disapprovingly.

“For all you know, Firaan could be manipulating her into distrusting me so much that she really will kill me next time!”

“Not if I ordered her not to,” Evfra said firmly.

Ryder shook her head. “That won’t be enough for her if…”

_Pathfinder,_ SAM interrupted, _I am monitoring communications from the Nexus that contain false information about your capture._

“Shit! Well, I guess when it rains it pours,” Ryder said in frustration, digging a hand into her hair. “Can you relay messages, or do I have to return to the Tempest?”

_Director Tann believes that I am compromised,_ SAM replied. _Furthermore, he suspects that the angara are capable of simulating your messages to prevent him from rescuing you._

Ryder snorted derisively. “Tann rescue _me_? That’s fucking hilarious.” She glanced at Evfra, expecting him to look confused or irritated but instead he appeared to be… studying her. Appreciatively. She felt a stir of butterflies and she cleared her throat. “Uh, so what is he planning to do exactly, SAM?”

_Director Tann has attempted to block my access to Nexus systems, however he has been unsuccessful. From the activity I am monitoring, it appears that he is assembling a strike team to extract you from Voeld, where he believes you are being held._

“Of all the— how did he even get this notion planted in his head?”

_He received a communication disguised as a message from the Resistance demanding that the Andromeda Initiative acknowledge the angaran people as the sovereign species of the Heleus Cluster and that they will return the human Pathfinder once the Nexus formally requests permission to continue operating in their territory._

Ryder covered her eyes, groaning. “I hate Firaan. Deeply.”

“What is it?” Evfra demanded, a little impatient at being kept out of the loop.

“Firaan just sent a message to Tann that I’m a prisoner on Voeld and that the Resistance is demanding that the Initiative acknowledge angara as the sovereign species in the Cluster, Tann believed it and now he’s sending an actual strike team to… extract me,” Ryder explained, voice flattening with her displeasure.

Evfra, on the other hand, looked like murder. “Do _any_ of your leaders have any claim at all to competence? Are they somehow unaware that any message not from _me_ personally does not speak for the Resistance? _After_ our… talk?” he growled.

Ryder shrugged apologetically. “I suppose I should have checked in with him again, though by the sound of it, he would have taken it as a ruse. I didn’t think even he was capable of such stupidity as to believe that message, but launching an attack is over-the-top, even for him – I can’t believe he would risk it, we don’t have enough people to launch a war with the angara.”

“From what I have seen, I do not have so much faith in him,” Evfra said coldly.

“It’s not about faith with Tann, but self-preservation. The odds are _not_ in our favor, I don’t understand how…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Evfra cut in, “he is going to Voeld, we need to be there.”

Ryder grimaced at him. “As I was about to say, yes – somehow Voeld seems to be at the heart of everything. There are clues here, but we keep being drawn back there.” Well, she had known it would be so – now she knew why.

“That could be intentional misdirection,” Evfra said.

“As you said, it doesn’t matter. This time we need to find him once and for all, not come running back to Aya or wherever there are fires to be put out – you’ve got the entire Resistance at your command and I have a damn good team, let’s let _them_ do the running around and lay our own trap.”

“How do you propose to do that?” Evfra demanded. “We’ve tried this before and unless Tajix really is Firaan…”

“Which he’s not,” Ryder cut in.

Evfra grunted. “He’s not going to respond to traps. He will simply unravel the Resistance _and_ your Initiative while we stand around there waiting for him to turn up.”

“We still have that communication…” Ryder said. “I think we should try and find out if we can discover who sent that message. I take it Tajix is still in custody?”

“I hope that wasn’t a serious question.”

“Of course he is,” Ryder nodded. “He’s normally posted on Voeld, it makes sense that we would take him there. I think we should use Firaan’s own plans against him, once he so kindly delivered Tajix as a suspect.”

“And if Tajix _is_ Firaan?” Evfra asked.

“We watch him. If he’s not, he’s also been manipulated by Firaan, except his intentions were trustworthy ones.” She ignored Evfra’s disparaging huff. “If he is, then we can do a little manipulating of our own to get him to admit to it.”

“I don’t like it,” Evfra growled.

“We have to go anyway, everything points there, we might as well make use of what we’ve got. If I’m right, Firaan made a mistake by using Tajix of all people.”

“Explain,” Evfra said, looking a little curious.

“I think it took some setting up to pull off that little ploy… I suspect Firaan overreached because he thought we might be on his trail. If I’m right, we’re going to make him very nervous on Voeld while we become chatty with Tajix. He’ll try to distract us, of course… except this time, _we_ will have the contingency plans – now that’s something you _can_ tell Ashae.”

Evfra finally nodded. “Let the battle begin,” he said.


	19. Wind Shear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Special thanks to Veraan’s co-creator, Taoshay Reignitedn7!

“This is our ship,” Evfra said, approaching an angaran lounging by what appeared to be a small freighter; the pilot, Ryder guessed. He straightened at attention with a sinuous grace that spoke of combat training as soon as he recognized Evfra, just as the slash across one eye spoke of battlefield experience, though he didn’t seem to be the same as other fighters she had seen around. “Veraan,” Evfra nodded to him in greeting.

“Evfra,” the pilot responded with a grave nod of respect, then turned to Ryder with a disarming smile. “Captain Veraan Tavre, at your service. I know, of course, who you are.” He looked back to Evfra. “I understand I am to make a special delivery to Voeld?” By his accent he was native to Aya.

“Yes. You will be taking us,” Evfra said, gesturing at Ryder, himself and the coterie of angara standing behind them.

Veraan stared for a moment, but regained his good humor in an instant. “It would be my pleasure! But… may I ask why? My cargo isn’t usually alive… or beautiful,” he added, smiling slightly at Ryder.

“Just focus on your task,” Evfra said almost wearily, giving her a frown. “The Pathfinder isn’t here for you to admire, nor is ‘why’ your concern.”

“Of course, Evfra, I meant no offense,” Veraan bowed his head in acquiescence and his smile was wiped away in an instant; though, he did shoot a curious look at Ryder anyway.

Ryder rolled her eyes at the Resistance leader. It wasn’t _her_ fault if other men found her interesting; besides, she suspected that Veraan was harmless. He wasn’t nearly as forward as Mashiar had been, but quite apart from that she also instinctively felt she could trust him a sight farther than the commander, though she couldn’t have exactly said why. Perhaps it was his obvious respect for Evfra; his reaction was quite different than the commander’s had been in the same situation.

“What do you normally carry?” Ryder asked Veraan in a conversational tone. Evfra frowned at her, but she ignored him; there was no reason to be impolite – but mostly she just felt like rubbing salt in both Evfra _and_ Ashae.

The glowering lieutenant stood a firm single pace behind her, as she had been since they had left Resistance headquarters. Ashae didn’t bother to make it a secret that she was guarding Ryder, even to the point of having a hand on her sidearm, and Evfra let her do it. This was after, without a single protest from him, the woman had demanded to accompany them to Voeld for reasons she kept to herself, unless it was to make sure Ryder’s ‘poisonous influence’ didn’t sway the Resistance leader to his doom, or some other nonsense the woman had concocted regarding Ryder’s supposed sinister designs.

“Supplies mostly,” Veraan replied promptly. “Medical supplies, nutrient paste, munitions… you name it, I’ve probably shipped it.”

“Quite the vital role you play,” Ryder smiled.

“Without a doubt,” Veraan gave her an easy grin, before remembering to curtail it when he glanced at Evfra.

“We don’t have time for this,” Evfra said gruffly, “let’s get underway.”

“The _Bavroa_ is yours,” Veraan gestured at his ship and waited until Evfra and the others had all boarded her before climbing into the cockpit himself.

There was a surprising amount of room in the freighter’s interior and Ryder was relieved to see that there were seats along either wall; Veraan might not be used to passengers, but his ship clearly was built to carry them if necessary. She eyed the straps on those seats dubiously however, wondering if there was a reason they were so hefty, but she chose a seat and strapped in without commenting on it. She had a line of sight to Veraan in the front of the ship and she watched his fingers deftly weaving across his panels as he went through his pre-flight check, but her attention didn’t remain on him long. Tajix was being lead aboard; he wasn’t restrained, Ryder had gone head-to-head with both Evfra and Ashae about it and won that point at least, but the lieutenant looked as dejected as ever. She couldn’t do anything about that just yet though, so she tried to push her sympathy and desire to do something aside; his best defense would be if they finally uncovered Firaan’s true identity beyond any doubt.

Instead, Ryder studied Ashae, who had sat down across from her with a cold stare. “Are you just going to glare at me the whole journey?” she asked the lieutenant.

“If you’re up to something, I will find out,” Ashae said.

“Here I thought you’re giving me the benefit of the doubt,” Ryder snorted, rolling her eyes. Evfra sat down next to her and she felt a pleasant flutter in her stomach to be near him, even though she was still angry with him. It was an infuriating mix of emotion that commonly accompanied the Resistance leader, she was beginning to realize.

“I am,” Ashae said.

Ryder’s eyes returned to her in surprise. “You _are_?”

“You wouldn’t be sitting there if I wasn’t,” the lieutenant replied, eyes sliding to Evfra with a disapproving frown.

Evfra, to his credit, returned the stare with an icily neutral one of his own; he was the picture of ease as he crossed his arms and leaned back, not at all bothered by Ryder’s proximity, although even Ryder thought maybe he was a little _too_ relaxed. Still, it sent a fresh wave of affection shuddering through her, thrilled that he _wanted_ to be close to her. At the same time it thoroughly exasperated her: would the man never learn boundaries? Clearly Ashae suspected that Ryder had somehow ensnared Evfra, if not the extent of it, and behavior like this was hardly going to soothe the lieutenant’s suspicions.

“Is everyone settled?” Veraan called back.

“Proceed,” Evfra said.

The ship moved and Ryder clutched at her straps; vertigo flipped her stomach and needles of pressure pushed against her as they picked up speed and she found herself thinking that maybe those straps weren’t nearly hefty enough to keep her in her seat instead of ripping free to be plastered to the back wall. Nauseating though the ascent was, she recognized skill when she saw it: though the freighter clearly wasn’t designed with passenger comfort in mind, Veraan took them smoothly through the atmosphere and out into space as seamlessly as possible with what felt like substandard inertial dampeners, if the freighter even _had_ any. The discomfort didn’t last long, however; it was still a somewhat bizarre feeling to feel the ship in that way, but she adapted to it quickly enough once the feeling that she would lose her breakfast passed.

During the flight Ryder turned her attention inward, blocking out the conversations among the fighters they had brought along and ignoring Ashae’s continued glare as best she could. It was an effort not to speak to Evfra or lean closer to him when he was just right there, but if there was anything that could dampen the embarrassing amount of eagerness she felt to connect with him, it was the subject of Firaan. She had sent her team off with instructions in the quiet hours of the previous evening, setting up the playing field to snare Firaan if they could, but her nerves were already frayed from the whole attempt. Probably they would remain so until it became clear beyond a doubt whether or not they could actually pull off their plan; unfortunately, outsmarting Firaan involved a distressing amount of guesswork and assumptions what with the scant solid information they had on him.

_It had better not be you,_ Ryder thought, eyes going to Tajix again. She supposed Evfra was right to keep him under his eye; after all, Firaan had obviously planned ahead quite a few steps into the game before, so it was not inconceivable that even detained as Tajix was he still could turn out to be their quarry. Ryder didn’t believe it in her heart, though. If nothing else, the hurt he displayed at the Resistance leader’s lack of faith in him seemed genuine; either that or he was very good at faking it, and somehow she doubted that any angara could maintain that amount of falsehood for this long without slipping at least a little.

Time stretched and Ryder blinked after a time as she realized her thoughts had dribbled away, leaving behind a meditative silence. There was something soothing about feeling the motion of the ship that seemed to loosen knots in her she didn’t realize she had, now that she was becoming used to it; drowsiness enveloped her as she swayed with the minor course corrections Veraan made, wishing that she and Evfra were alone to enjoy the experience without the likes of Ashae breathing down their necks, but she contented herself with imagining it for the time being. Once on the subject, it wasn’t hard to get lost in pleasant thoughts of sharing moments with Evfra, so she let her mind drift wherever it would go.

Though she didn’t quite fall asleep, it took Ryder by surprise hours later when suddenly the ship began to rock with the turbulence of Voeld’s stormy atmosphere and she became aware of her surroundings again. The soft chatter between the fighters had ebbed and flowed throughout the journey as far as she could tell on the periphery of consciousness, but all of them went silent as they broke through the clouds into the howling snow flurries gusting across Voeld’s endlessly white landscape until they seemed to be swallowed by the distant mountains looming gray on the horizon. The landing flipped her stomach quite as much as their takeoff had, but this time around at least she didn’t feel like she was going to be ripped out of her seat; she had to admit, Veraan knew his way about the planet, he made use of the gale as if navigating a boat on a river with a strong current and despite his ship’s deficiencies, their landing was one of the smoothest she’d experienced on a smaller sized craft.

Evfra was the first to extract himself, gathering everyone’s attention with the motion. “Secure the prisoner where I can ask him questions,” he commanded to the fighters on either side of Tajix. “Ashae, you and the Pathfinder find me after I’ve spoken to Anjik.”

Unstrapping herself and stretching her muscles as they protested their protracted motionlessness, Ryder went up to the cockpit, ignoring Ashae’s glower as she passed. “My compliments, Veraan,” she said. “I can see why Evfra trusted you to bring us here.”

Veraan grinned up at her, his expression a mix of embarrassment and pride. “That is very kind of you to say, Pathfinder.” He stood up and towered over her, looking more relaxed and exited than before. “Stars, I am honored to have been chosen for this mission – I trust it was a smooth ride?”

“Smoothest I’ve experienced!” Ryder laughed. “Don’t tell my pilot I said so.”

Veraan winked. “Your wish is my command, Pathfinder.” His smile faded when he caught sight of Evfra glowering in their direction before he stepped down and the captain hastily gestured for Ryder to exit ahead of him, but he did shoot her an apologetic look.

“Just hold there a moment,” Ashae said, stopping Ryder from climbing down with a prohibitive arm. “You’re not walking around here armed.” She held out her other hand for the sidearm at Ryder’s hip; another thing she had had to fight for in the first place, though at least on that point Evfra had overridden the lieutenant’s adamant rejection. Only, Evfra wasn’t there at the moment.

“Excuse me?” Ryder asked coldly. “ _Evfra_ said I was free to carry weapons – I have before and I have never used it against any of you.”

“No, your weapons are different ones,” Ashae said with narrowed eyes. “But Evfra is not here now and if you truly want to prove yourself to me, you will stop arguing and hand it over. Unless of course you mean to insult us by implying that you are not safe at a Resistance base.”

Ryder gritted her teeth, barely biting back an angry retort, but finally she unstrapped her gun and handed it over. Perhaps the woman _was_ giving her a fair chance in her own way and if this would gain the lieutenant’s trust, she was willing to do it; but in that moment she dearly wished she could just beat the woman senseless. Quickly turning from Ashae’s sudden smug face before she acted on that impulse, Ryder climbed down – and immediately walked into an ambush.

“Lady Pathfinder! What an unexpected pleasure!” Mashiar’s voice preceded the man himself, forest eyes seeming to drink her before he seized her hand to kiss it before she could stop him. “I said this was my favorite goodbye, but I believe it is far more satisfying as a greeting,” he gave her a roguish smile, but not before he gave the _Bavroa_ a puzzled glance. “I assume you have come because of the news?”

“Hello again,” Ryder said weakly with a forced smile, eyes darting around for Evfra, but the Resistance leader was nowhere to be seen. She barely listened to what the commander was saying; now that her feet were on solid ground, she was seized by the urgency of their mission there and she wasn’t about to spend precious time prying the man off her. If she could only find a good excuse…

_Pathfinder, Mashiar’s physical response indicates high levels of stress and endorphin response,_ SAM said suddenly. Ryder’s smile froze in place, mind whirring. So he was genuinely surprised to see her, yet hiding his response for some reason? If he had somehow developed real feelings for her _and_ hid them… Something scratched at her in the back of her mind, an uneasiness that had to do with what signals she may have unintentionally let on about her feelings for Evfra. Could it be that…

“Mashiar! What in the stars is the matter with you?” Ashae demanded behind Ryder, making her jump slightly.

“Nothing,” Mashiar said, straightening hastily and letting go of Ryder’s hand as he blinked at Ashae in surprise.

“Don’t tell me _you’ve_ fallen to her… charms?” Ashae sniffed. Her eyes slid to Veraan as the captain followed them out. “It is almost like an infection,” she muttered under her breath.

“How can I not?” Mashiar asked with a laugh, but Ryder noticed that he was definitely a little wary of the lieutenant from the way he eyed her; well, that at least was a point in her favor, not even Evfra had been able to stop the man’s advances on her. Ashae’s implication with that look at Veraan, though…

“You should know better; _both_ you and Evfra should,” the lieutenant glared at Ryder before offensively looking her up and down. “I suppose she’s pretty enough, but Evfra of all people shouldn’t see her that way. Neither should you, she’s an alien!” she added, eyes spearing the commander again.

Ryder buried her face in one palm; the entire conversation was going so wrong so fast. If she could have been certain that Ashae wouldn’t tackle her, she would have just walked away without a backwards glance and left the entire mess to stew before she sank in it. Mashiar’s attentions _and_ Ashae at once was too much for even the strongest stomach in her estimation.

“I’m _not_ Evfra,” Mashiar said defensively, “I don’t lead the Resistance. Why should it be anyone’s concern if I choose to court her?”

Ashae snorted. “If that’s the way you feel, we should all feel fortunate that you’re not in charge.”

“What brings _you_ to Voeld?” Mashiar asked, a muscle twitching in his face.

“You don’t need to know that,” Ashae replied coldly.

To Ryder’s surprise, after a stretched moment Mashiar bent his head in acquiescence. “Quite. Forgive the question, I spoke in haste. Pathfinder, would you grace me with a walk?”

“In this climate?” Ryder asked incredulously before she could stop herself.

“I know how to keep you warm now,” Mashiar grinned slyly, “I’ve been studying.”

Ryder wanted to sink through the ice. “I uh… I’ve got stuff to do here, Mashiar,” she said evasively.

“So you’ve bewitched him as well,” Ashae said disapprovingly.

Ryder gritted her teeth; how was this _her_ fault? “I thought you’re supposed to be giving me a chance here, but all you seem to do is blame me for everything.”

“I _am_ giving you a chance,” the lieutenant replied, “and so far all you’ve seem to done is attempt to seduce men of rank in the Resistance.”

“I have _no_ intention of…!” Ryder spluttered in outrage, feeling her face go hot despite the blistering cold Voeld’s winds breathed across her skin.

Mashiar laughed. “Ashae, she doesn’t _need_ to seduce anyone, she is simply magnificent on her own. I’m sure you wouldn’t understand,” he added in a more frosty tone, though his smile remained in place.

Ashae snarled and launched herself at Mashiar, but the commander danced back out of reach, smile wiped away and replaced with anger. Before Ryder could even think to react, Veraan was there between them in an instant, glaring both ways with a frown.

“Please, this is no way to set an example,” the captain said calmly. “Ashae, respectfully, the Pathfinder deserves better.”

“Stay out of this, pilot,” Ashae said angrily, but she did not attempt to get past him.

“Commander,” Veraan addressed Mashiar, somehow managing to ignore the holes Ashae’s eyes burned into him, “the Pathfinder has important work here. I think we shouldn’t keep her from it.”

Mashiar smiled coldly. “Don’t get cocky with me,” he warned, but abruptly he seemed to realize that Ryder was still there listening to them and he gave her a sheepish look. “My apologies, Pathfinder, my behavior is unworthy. Apologies, lieutenant,” he said to Ashae reluctantly, but Ryder noted that he did not apologize to Veraan.

She stared at all three of them. “How about I go take care of that important work and leave you three to sort out your feelings about me?”

“Just what makes you think you can wander around freely?” Ashae demanded, taking a step towards her.

“I’m _not_ your prisoner anymore,” Ryder said, clenching her jaw for a moment to regain control of herself. “You have my weapon. I am surrounded by armed angarans and you _know_ why we are here. If I betray you I would have to be pretty damned stupid to do it here, unarmed and alone.”

“It is truly disheartening,” Mashiar said a little sadly, “how poorly your people must think of us to believe we are holding you here against your will…”

Ashae glared at the commander, looking frustrated. “Just don’t get any ideas,” she said finally; Ryder was too relieved to respond with anything more than a nod.

“So,” Mashiar said cheerfully, “I assume we’re joining the vanguard sent to meet your forces?”

Ryder studied him for a moment and even Ashae’s attention seemed to leave her for once in favor of the commander. “No,” she said finally. “Not this time.” She might as well plant the right rumors starting with the commander.

Mashiar’s smile faded in confusion. “I see,” he said. When Ryder nodded in lieu of a farewell and turned to leave, he made as if to follow her, but Veraan touched his arm.

“Commander, if you would, I need someone to sign off on my cargo,” the captain said, smiling apologetically.

_Thank you, Veraan!_ Ryder thought fervently and walked away quickly before the commander could protest the request and follow her anyway. She kept moving, not really knowing where to go, but before she even rounded a corner some twenty paces away she found herself face to face with Evfra. The Resistance leader clearly had come looking for them when they hadn’t turned up as he expected.

“Why is Voeld always so… _difficult_?” she demanded from him. Not being able to find solace in his presence in the way she would have liked made her feel alone, even with Evfra standing right there in front of her.

“I hope you aren’t too taken with the local scenery,” Evfra remarked, eyes flicking to Mashiar and the others.

Ryder’s irritation flared, but instead of allowing herself to be provoked she looked him up and down ostentatiously, crossing her arms. “It’s improving,” she said casually.

Evfra grunted sourly, but appeared content to let the subject lie for once. “Anjik sent a vanguard force to greet the Initiative strike team,” he said, casting a cold stare around that sent everyone who caught glimpse of it hurrying to busy themselves with their tasks and give the pair of them a wide berth.

“I know,” Ryder grimaced. “Mashiar just asked me if we’re going to join them.”

“Did he now?” Evfra frowned speculatively.

Ryder took a deep breath. “In all fairness… you should know that I think he has some serious intentions towards me. He reacted very strongly to my arrival – don’t look at me that way, I didn’t encourage him!”

“I know,” Evfra said flatly. “Are you sure that’s all it was?”

Ryder shrugged with a resigned sigh. “SAM’s physical read on him seems to confirm it, but… he’s as likely a candidate as anyone else. I don’t know anymore, the idea of Firaan makes me suspect almost everyone I meet – even Veraan could be him for all I know.”

“Veraan is one of those I trust,” Evfra said, though he seemed reluctant to admit it. “He was one of those who carried your team members off world.”

Ryder looked away, feeling suddenly guilty for using the captain to get back at Evfra and Ashae; she didn’t want to drive a wedge of suspicion between the Resistance leader and Veraan. Especially since she suspected that he really was trustworthy, the same as she felt for Tajix. She wished Evfra put together with the whole madness that was Firaan didn’t scramble her senses quite so thoroughly; she didn’t want to cause harm to anyone if they didn’t deserve it and of late it seemed that her influence on any angaran she met was not a particularly good one. Maybe Ashae was right about her after all.

“Evfra, do you think I…” Ryder trailed off as she looked back up at him, uncertainty swallowing her words. She wished Evfra could read her mind, console her that she wasn’t a disaster to everyone she met, but then even he had good reason to wish she had never entered his life and she was not sure she wanted to face the possibility of a different response from him than the ones she needed. After all, love her or not, she had brought as much misery as joy to him.

“If you what?” Evfra asked.

“It’s not important,” Ryder shook her head, ruthlessly pushing her feelings down. She changed the subject. “Are we ready to begin?”

“Yes, although it will take some time to make Tajix cooperate,” Evfra said grimly. “Time we do not have.”

“Let me talk to him. I never doubted him as you have, a friendly face should loosen him up,” she said.

“How does that help?”

“If you plant the seed, he will just refuse to participate. If _I_ do it, it’s an opportunity for him to prove his innocence given to him by someone he knows is on his side – or will know is on his side, once I’ve talked to him.”

“Which is precisely what I don’t like about that plan,” Evfra grimaced. “You _do_ believe in his innocence.”

Ryder let out a long breath. “We’ve talked about this. You _know_ it won’t work any other way.”

“If Ashae…” Evfra began, but Ryder cut him off.

“Don’t even _think_ about involving her in this – just a few minutes ago she was accusing me of seducing you and everyone else I meet! The more she knows, the more she will be a liability because she cannot see past her dislike of me.”

“Perhaps I should put an end to that,” Evfra mused.

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Ryder agreed, but frowned. “Wait, how exactly can you put an end to it? If you knew a way to stop this nonsense, why the hell didn’t you do it already?” she demanded.

“If I confided in her, she may understand the importance of secrecy and she would no longer endanger our secret by casting doubt on you,” he said, but didn’t look convinced of his own words. Clearly it was an idea born of frustration and not any real hope of success.

“Evfra, no, this is a terrible idea,” Ryder said pleadingly, but her heart was treacherously close to making her hold her tongue; her mind won that competition, however. “She wouldn’t understand.” _How I wish he would do it anyway…_

“She may not,” Evfra agreed. “Her feelings would complicate matters.”

“Her _feelings_ …?” Ryder asked icily, but she waved him to silence before he could answer. “No, don’t say anything, I _don’t_ want to know.”

Could he possibly mean…? The thought that Ashae might view her as a _rival_ – it didn’t bear thinking about. Even stopping Evfra from either confirming or denying that suspicion, her blood boiled and everything shifted around in her mind where the woman was concerned. She bit her tongue to keep herself from _demanding_ that Evfra tell the lieutenant that he was _hers_. No, the entire subject was a distraction now; they had to focus on Firaan first.

“I already told Mashiar that we’re not joining the vanguard,” Ryder said in as calm a tone as she could manage.

“Then Firaan will soon know we didn’t take his bait, if he doesn’t know already,” Evfra said. He eyed her for a moment. “Convince Tajix that it’s in his best interest to dig up those communication logs.”

Ryder smiled grimly. “This time _we’re_ the hunters.”


	20. Shadowlight, Part I

“I want to help you,” Ryder said earnestly.

Tajix did not respond beyond a brief twist of painful bitterness that flashed across his face, but his melancholy eyes remained fixed on the table between them. It was Tajix’s apportioned time before the heat lamps in the medical ward before he was lead back to his ‘dungeon’, which was a somewhat smaller and dingier room that was easy to guard from all sides; for the moment, he was free, or as close to it as he would be in the foreseeable future, though that still meant that his wrists were bound and there was a guard on the door. Evfra had ordered a rotation to keep the man nourished and healthy, but more importantly, it was also a perfect opportunity for Ryder to interview him. Her next move was contingent on what would be said here, because what she planned was definitely a risk.

“Tajix, I _believe_ you,” she tried again. “But we need to know everything about the communications exchanged in the time period, from the point where you got into this mess until we returned here – you’ve got to help me out here.”

“It’s all in the system,” Tajix said quietly.

Ryder suppressed a sigh of relief; that was the first sentence she had gotten out of him since entering the room. “I know, but your system of encryption is complex. I need the cypher that identifies the participants.”

“You have an AI, do you not?” he asked.

“Yes, and yet a string of seemingly random numbers doesn’t identify _who_ sent any given message,” Ryder pointed out. “Tajix, this could clear your name, prove to Evfra once and for all that you were used by Firaan!”

That bitter look came and went again. “I scrambled those messages… I didn’t want Evfra finding out about my failure.”

“That should be easy enough to fix.”

“You don’t understand, Pathfinder – I scrambled the _entire_ system. If I merely deleted the messages or tampered with only those…” he trailed off, gesturing helplessly with his hands as far as he could with the bindings on them.

“It would be like drawing an arrow to them,” Ryder finished.

Ryder chewed her lip. It was a little problematic that Tajix had the ability to tamper with the entire system effectively enough that his communications with the scavengers and the ship headed for Havarl would remain disguised in plain sight and that he’d done so; or rather, the real problem was that there was nothing to say that he hadn’t planted evidence long ago framing someone else. Evfra was right, Tajix still technically couldn’t be eliminated as a suspect and thinking that far ahead was exactly the sort of thing she expected from Firaan. Still, the messages were their best chance at laying a trap for him. It wasn’t an elegant solution, but SAM’s proverbial fingers were on every single transmission in the corrupted database; if Tajix tried to manipulate Firaan’s message instead of simply uncovering it and downloading it, they would know for sure that he was their quarry.

Aloud, she said, “It can’t be _that_ hard to reconstruct them.”

Tajix frowned. “If I do, how does that prove my innocence? Wouldn’t tampering with them again just incriminate me?”

“There’s a specific message somewhere in there that I’m after. You wouldn’t be trying to restore what you damaged to keep your secret, but finding and reconstructing that one message, I can give you a time window within which Firaan sent word to Aya, anything before that or sent to anywhere else is immaterial to the investigation at this point. That includes the communications you tried to hide.”

Tajix wordlessly raised his wrists, eyes meeting hers for the first time.

“We’ll get to that,” Ryder nodded. “But first, I need to know if you might have seen anything. I’m certain that Firaan was physically here around when you were communicating with those ships. Think hard, is there anyone you can think of who could have sent a message about my release?”

“Your release?” Tajix frowned. “I wasn’t here after Evfra released you, either.”

“Yes, but you tampered with the comm system! I suspect that Firaan knew about it and made use of your actions.”

“I don’t see how that would help me… or you,” he sighed.

“First, you’ve cracked the system and I would be very surprised if you didn’t leave backdoor access just in case your plan failed. Second, you have the same level of understanding now and that’s where Firaan miscalculated, because he would never suspect that I would let you near evidence like that while you are a suspect.”

Tajix held her gaze expressionlessly. Ryder smiled; it was confirmation enough.

“Your best chance now is to cooperate with me and help us hunt down the real culprit. You have access to the system in a way that only SAM could match, but more importantly, you have the means to obscure senders, which means you _also_ have the means to uncover senders.”

“I’m not sure that is possible,” Tajix frowned. “I did not keep an uncorrupted copy, some of the information might be unrecoverable. My messages certainly are, but as I said, I scrambled the entire system. If I had known to look for someone…” he shrugged, eyes falling to the table again. Ryder’s heart went out to him; his intentions had been good ones, provided he didn’t really turn out to be Firaan, but he had unwittingly turned himself into a very convincing scapegoat.

“Before Evfra accused you there was no reason for you to suspect anyone,” Ryder said gently. “You might have been beside him the whole time and you wouldn’t have known who to point a finger at, I’m not expecting you to. But if you saw _anything_ out of the ordinary, any clue that might help us…”

Tajix was silent for a long moment, turning her words over. “What am I looking for?”

Ryder smiled. “Firaan sent a direct communication to Saar on Aya sometime after I was released, most likely shortly before we returned to Aya. It’s the only instance that he has used Resistance channels as far as we know.”

“To Saar?” Tajix frowned. “Why him? Is he a collaborator of some sort?”

“No, he wanted to kill me.” She shrugged a little when Tajix gasped. “It didn’t work, obviously. I don’t think Saar is working with Firaan, he merely… dislikes how much influence I have over Evfra, he feels that I threaten the Resistance.”

He nodded. “Saar wouldn’t understand that kind of love and would definitely feel threatened by it, even without knowing the extent.”

Ryder gaped at him silently, heart seizing her throat in shock. She was glad she hadn’t reacted instinctively like jumping up or blurting a denial that would most certainly confirm what he just said, but mostly that was because she was just too stunned to move or speak. Tajix _knew_? How was it even _possible_? But if he knew, who knew who else might know or suspect; the thought dizzied her and it took all her willpower to regulate her breath to something approximating calmness.

Tajix noticed her reaction anyway and looked a little embarrassed. “I am sorry. I know it’s a secret, and rightly so. I just tend to get preoccupied with puzzles and well… Evfra has been acting differently, especially around you.” He shrugged modestly. “I didn’t have time to do very much else except think about this, eventually I couldn’t come up with any other answers except that one.”

“You…” Ryder swallowed. Her throat felt very dry all of a sudden. “Have you told anyone about your… suspicions?”

“No one has talked to me apart from you,” Tajix said a little sadly.

“I thought Evfra interviewed you,” she frowned.

“He did. But he was talking _at_ me… he thinks that I am this Firaan.”

Ryder crossed her arms, feeling flustered. “Well, I… thank you for… I’m not confirming anything, you understand, but just a rumor of something like that could…” abruptly she realized that this was perhaps not the best subject to crack her teeth on with their investigation’s prime suspect; believe in his innocence or not, she couldn’t _prove_ he wasn’t Firaan just yet. Not to mention the fact that Tajix had just proved to her beyond a doubt that he _was_ intelligent enough to be a legitimate suspect if he had pieced all that together from the few times they had all three been in the same space.

“Of course,” Tajix smiled slightly. “I wish you no harm, Pathfinder.” This time she thought the strongest emotion she could read in his eyes saw gratitude; was that because she said she believed in him or that she was talking to him at all? Perhaps it was both.

Ryder cleared her throat. “I’ll arrange for your escape. I cannot let you free officially, but I will make sure you have access to the comm system. Find the message and wait for me there, I will come for you and we will find Evfra together.” She took out a small device she had stowed in her gauntlet and slid it across the table to him. “I assume you used the maintenance access point near the docking area, not the central command?” Tajix nodded. “When you draw close to it, press this,” she indicated the center of the device. “Your guard will be rendered unconscious. I will draw away the other one so no one will suspect your absence.”

Tajix nodded again, gravely this time, and she stood to leave, hoping that he understood what an enormous trust she was placing in him with that gesture. She hesitated a moment, wondering if there was a way to remedy her clumsy handling of the lieutenant’s theories on her relationship with Evfra, but she decided that the only thing she could accomplish at that juncture was to put her foot in her mouth again. Without another word, she left, trading places with the guard waiting at the door.

 _Pathfinder, I am monitoring Initiative ships approaching,_ SAM said.

“Then it’s begun,” she said and just then the proximity alarms went off. She went to find Evfra, ignoring the looks she gathered as she moved quickly through the rocky, white tunnels. “SAM, can you make a convincing message for that guard?”

 _Yes, Pathfinder. However I need direct access to a communication terminal,_ SAM replied.

“Alright, we can do that.” She kept moving, eyes peeled for any kind of access point, but she ended up meandering right up to the heart of the command center before she found what she was looking for. Across the room she spotted Anjik narrowing eyes at her; whatever Evfra had revealed to her about their plan, it clearly hadn’t changed the woman’s mind about Ryder since the last time she had been here as a prisoner of the Resistance. She stepped closer to an unused station, only temporary vacated judging by the data on the display, and touched the panel lightly. No one had a direct line of sight to what she was doing beyond standing there, except if someone came in behind her, but she felt sweat trickle icily down her neck anyway.

 _Accessing,_ SAM intoned. _Connection successful. I am sending the message._

“The rest is up to him,” Ryder murmured and rounded the block of ice that raised the giant holo of Voeld above the rest of the room, trying to casually put distance between herself and the terminal without arousing suspicion.

There, she found Evfra staring up at the holo, surrounded by a handful of officers giving out orders or monitoring the information streaming in from the vanguard. His eyes immediately went to her and she thought she saw his shoulders relax a little; though, it was difficult to tell in that poor illumination. She stepped up to him and nodded, trying to make it an offhand gesture while at the same time trying to impart meaning to him that her meeting with Tajix had gone well.

“They’re not responding to our hails,” one of the officers stationed there said to Evfra suddenly, eyes glowing as they swallowed the information on the luminescent screen in front of him. “The vanguard is standing ready to strike on your order.”

“Let me try,” Ryder requested, trying to inject formality into her tone. It helped that her mind was preoccupied by whether or not Tajix was already on his way to the comm systems or if he would delay his departure to soak up a few more rays; for once being near Evfra didn’t completely rob her of sense. Though, she did feel as though a knot had untied in her middle.

Evfra studied her a moment, as though weighing the request; they both knew he would let her do it, but he had to create at least an appearance of weighing the question. Unfortunately, that was the moment Ashae chose to join them and the look the lieutenant gave her drew Ryder’s full attention. It bothered her how close the woman was to the Resistance leader, but she restrained herself from stooping to drawing even closer to Evfra herself; Ryder was _not_ in a competition with her, after all. Still, the fact that the lieutenant felt comfortable enough to step up right next to Evfra like that to glare at her made her feel a reckless desire to snuggle into Evfra’s arms in front of everyone, rumors be damned.

“Do that, and it’s guaranteed the Initiative will strike at us,” Ashae sniffed. Clearly she had heard Ryder’s request.

“I don’t see how,” Ryder remarked through a clenched jaw, trying not to glare a hole into the woman.

Ashae _knew_ what was going on and yet she still publically challenged it, making it difficult for Evfra to go ahead without causing more rumors they didn’t need; not to mention that the fact that apparently the woman felt her suspicion and their rivalry was more important than uncovering Firaan. Not that she knew the full extent of who he was and what he was responsible for so far; all the lieutenant knew was that they had a saboteur in their midst and Ryder and Evfra had a plan to flush him out, but that should have been more than enough.

“You’re here,” Ashae said flatly. “You see all our preparations and defenses. You could cripple the vanguard protecting us by feeding the right information to your forces. What other reason do they have to be silent? You said that you made sure they would respond to us, well, they’re _not_ responding.”

“They’re silent because they don’t hear _me_ ,” Ryder sighed. She had sincerely hoped that the woman would at least dial down the conspiracy theories after being included in their plan, but it seemed that nothing would ever fully convince her.

Ashae turned to Evfra. “When she betrays you, remember that I warned you.”

“Enough, the decision is made,” Evfra said impatiently, gesturing for Ryder to step closer.

“Send this,” she instructed the officer trying to establish communications, tapping her omnitool. The officer glanced at Evfra for one final approval before following her instructions, but other than that he did as she asked without protest.

Ryder waited.

“We have an answer!” the officer exclaimed, giving Ryder an impressed look.

“SAM, can you patch them through to the comms here?” Ryder asked, hiding her relief. She was certain that anyone from the Milky Way would understand that message, but with all the suspicion growing between the Initiative and the angara lately she was grateful they didn’t think it a trick and bothered to respond in the first place. She hoped that meant Cora had succeeded in her mission.

 _Yes, Pathfinder,_ SAM answered.

“ _Ryder?_ ” a familiar voice crackled through.

“Is that you, Kandros?” Ryder asked, surprised. “You’re personally leading my uh… rescue?” Ashae hissed, but Ryder ignored her.

“ _Yeah. That’s the only way I could make sure it was done right._ ”

“I believe you,” Ryder replied wryly. “I think you’ll want to come on down to the Resistance headquarters here, we should talk.”

“ _Probably a good idea. Send the coordinates,_ ” Kandros said.

Ryder looked to Evfra, not wanting to be bypassed by the officer again, who took the hint and nodded at the man to send the information. She gave Ashae a cool look, then without another word left their midst. As she walked down to the lower level she hesitated, glancing around; for a split second she was sure that someone was watching her. She shrugged it off and headed for the hangar bay. _I’m probably seeing Firaan in every shadow…_ she mused.

“Will someone shut off that alarm?” Evfra growled behind her in irritation.

Despite herself, Ryder’s composure slipped and she smiled fondly, though she supposed it did not matter if anyone saw. She was a little surprised that Evfra didn’t follow her to meet Kandros, but much more that Ashae didn’t insist on posting a guard to her, but she supposed at least on Evfra’s part it might have been a little suspicious while there was still a chance for a battle to break out. Although, making her way through the cool tunnels she _did_ notice quite a few glances linger on her a little too long to be coincidence. Had Ashae really posted guards _everywhere_? Perhaps that was the only way Evfra would allow it; still, it made her both angry and uneasy. There was too much of a chance that fighters told off to be vigilant would notice Tajix, and the last thing they needed was for him to be discovered escaped and poking around the comm system.

Once reaching the hangar bay, Ryder waited patiently for the first few minutes, but it didn’t take her long to start slowly pacing up and down, arms crossed as she lost herself in her brooding thoughts. She itched to know if Tajix had escaped already, if it had been successful in the first place, and if he had found anything, but it was too soon to go looking for him; besides, she still had to set a few last things in motion. Again she felt as though eyes were on her and the sensation made her shoulder blades itch, so when she turned around yet again to pace to the other end of the hangar and she came face to face with Tiran Kandros, she jumped, blinking at him and unravelling her arms.

“Pathfinder,” he nodded in greeting. “I’m glad Harper wasn’t wrong. I’d hate to have to attack our only allies in Heleus.”

Ryder grinned. “Kandros, welcome to Voeld.” Looking around, she gestured him to the side where they wouldn’t be overhead. “The angara and the Initiative have a common enemy, as I’m sure you’ve guessed.”

“I thought so,” Kandros replied simply, mandibles flexing as his gaze swept the hangar, assessing everyone in it. “I assume it’s not the kett, this doesn’t seem their style.”

“From what we know,” Ryder shrugged. “According to Evfra you can’t pin them down on style in that sense. But in this case we know for certain that there is one person behind a lot of the chaos going on lately, we suspect he is a kett sympathizer but all the evidence seems to point to an angaran in the Resistance.”

“You might have mentioned this when you were on the Nexus,” he said, sounding a little exasperated. “It would have saved me the trouble of making this trip to rescue you when you clearly don’t need rescuing. Unless you do,” he added, eyeing her.

“No, I’m fine, really,” Ryder said hastily. “I know, I’m sorry, at the time I didn’t know enough. But you’re right, I should have said something. I…”

 _Pathfinder, I am monitoring a communication from Vetra on Kadara,_ SAM interjected.

“What did she say?” Ryder asked, then frowned. “Are you in direct contact with her?”

 _No. However, she has made use of the same communication network Firaan exploited and relayed a message to Initiative channels I monitor,_ SAM replied.

“Clever,” Ryder smiled. “She _would_ turn that to her advantage.”

_Her message states that a rumor began circulating Kadara Port that Firaan is being harbored by the krogan colony on Elaaden. She also mentions that several known Roekaar agents she had been watching slipped away after hearing the news._

Ryder focused on Kandros again, an idea striking her. “This might work out better this way, Kandros. I have a friend who _does_ need your help; at least, I think he will.”

“My unit is ready to go, just tell me where I’m needed,” he looked satisfied at the prospect.

Ryder smiled. “In that case there is not a moment to waste. I think our enemy has made his next big play.”

She spent a few more minutes in discussion with the militia leader, giving him as many details as she could about the situation and their suspicions and answering his questions. Then, finally he was on his way and Ryder ran back through the hallways; at long last it was time to find Tajix. Clearly Firaan had just sent that message not long ago and with _two_ messages to hunt, one recent and uncorrupted… she could almost feel the noose tightening around Firaan’s ankles. Tracing back her steps to where she had last seen the lieutenant, she followed the path from there to the spot where he would have had to make his move; sure enough, a little searching lead her to an alcove where she found the sleeping guard, still unconscious. It was a dark and cramped space with poor illumination, but there was enough light to make out the thick cables tunneling through rock and ice and the panels that would give someone access to the system.

There was no sign of Tajix, however. “SAM?” Ryder asked, feeling a little nervous as she looked around. If nothing else, the guard was a clear indication that the plan had been a success and this was the right place to access the comms, but she didn’t see any trace of the man.

 _Scanning,_ SAM replied. _Pathfinder, Tajix may have been injured. There are traces of angaran biomatter in the vicinity of the interface._

“Injured?” Ryder asked with alarm, but just then a footstep crunched behind her and she swiveled, blinded a little by the strip of brighter light behind the figure slipping in after her.

“That was very clever of you, making Tajix sneak around on my trail. I didn’t realize what he was up to at first… a pity I killed him before I thought it through. Well played, Pathfinder.”

 _Firaan._ Instinct screamed at Ryder to get out, but she was trapped. “You killed Tajix?” she asked faintly, heart clenching painfully, but she didn’t have time to grieve as the figure stepped closer and she finally made out his face. “ _You?_ You are Firaan?”


	21. Shadowlight, Part II

“Were you expecting someone else, lady Pathfinder?” Mashiar laughed.

“Mashiar…” Ryder said, heartbeat racing and mind still filled with her screaming senses and the terrible pain of loss and betrayal. “Why reveal yourself now?” she asked, trying to stall and reorient herself enough to make sense of the situation; not to mention figuring out how to stay _alive_. She knew Firaan was deadly with his namesake weapon of choice and she doubted that she was in a position to stop someone like that in the tight space they were in without injury; well, perhaps with SAM to aid her she could do it, logically she knew she needn’t be afraid, yet she couldn’t help but be aware of how dangerous the man was and feel threatened by it.

“As I said, you sent Tajix sniffing after me. I suppose I shouldn’t have killed him, I still might have hidden my tracks, but he did always irritate me,” Mashiar said speculatively, crossing his arms. “Not to mention your little surprises. I know an ending when I see one, with or without him you would have figured it out now.” He cocked his head as he studied her face and he clearly enjoyed what he saw there, judging by his smile. “I’m here now to indulge your curiosity. I’m sure you have many questions for me… and then we will see about fixing the mess you made by not joining the vanguard.”

Ryder opened her mouth to deny him the pleasure of hearing her plead or ask why or _any_ of it, but as if sensing her defiance, SAM’s voice stopped her.

 _Pathfinder, I may be able to alert the angara and trap Mashiar, but it will take some time,_ SAM intoned.

“Why?” Ryder asked simply, locking eyes with the commander.

“You’re going for the obvious question first? I’m disappointed,” he frowned.

“It’s the most important one,” she answered. It also was the only one she could think of; SAM or no, she still had to figure out a way to get him out of this alcove without him killing her first. Though, her mind was beginning to grasp the reality of the situation and more questions did arise in her; rather pressing questions.

“But not the most interesting one.”

“What happened to you that made you become this? Killing your own,” she gestured helplessly, searching for the words to express how disturbed she was at the idea of someone like him being capable of such atrocities. “Tajix… those fighters on my ship, even the Roekaar…”

Mashiar considered. “Because it’s the only way any of it made sense. Because I was taken by the kett as a child, along with my family and I was raised by them. Because my bedtime stories were listening to each of them scream in agony, until one by one they all changed… Because I _am_ kett. My mothers and all my siblings were reborn, but their spirits always _belonged_. That’s what I was told and what I was taught and therefore, that is who I am.”

Ryder shook her head at the horror of it. “You can’t _possibly_ believe that! You know what they do to your people, how can you say you’re one of them? They didn’t change _you_.”

“They tried,” Mashiar replied. “I had to kill them eventually.”

“That… makes no sense at all,” she said. She wasn’t sure she wanted to argue the point too strenuously, though; a mind like his convinced of something like that could certainly accept inconsistencies as fact, but if he was unbalanced enough to believe such a thing, he could also snap at any moment.

“My kidnapping, the death, the loss only _meant_ something if there was a purpose to it. I began to realize that I was wrong about the kett. We all are. Even they are to some degree.”

“So you help the kett by slaughtering your way through us? That’s your idea of absolution?” Ryder asked incredulously. “Have you been feeding them information, too?”

“What did it all matter in the end?” the commander asked, as if he hadn’t heard her question or he simply ignored it. “They taught me to be one of them, but then not even that was enough. So, I had to escape.”

“And you _escaped_ and rejoined your people, how could you… _do_ this?” Ryder faltered, unable to find words strong enough.

“The angara weren’t enough, either,” Mashiar frowned. “What purpose is there to this struggle? All the wasted lives focused on this war when we could all be one family again?”

“You’re one to talk about wasting life! You slaughtered an entire daar!”

“The Roekaar,” Mashiar sneered. “They are already traitors, their lives don’t matter.”

“If they don’t matter, why did you need to kill them in the first place?”

“They are easy to manipulate… but also are quite boastful if you show your colors to be similar to theirs. So they had to die.”

“That was a miscalculation,” Ryder said fiercely. She felt terribly cold inside and so she focused on her anger, her outrage. Those emotions felt like the only real things in a sudden storm of terrible madness. “One of them survived and told us who to look for.”

Mashiar was silent for a moment, forest eyes studying her. “That is where you learned my name,” he said finally.

“You didn’t cover your tracks very well,” she went on.

“Well, I had you fooled for a while,” Mashiar smiled.

There was something about the way he said that; it was almost like remembering something, but Ryder couldn’t quite place her finger on it. “I should have known it was you the moment I discovered that trap on the Tempest…” she said after a moment, suddenly afraid that a lull in their conversation would precipitate whatever it was that Mashiar had planned next.

“I had a special surprise waiting for you,” Mashiar nodded, “but I thought it would be more to the point to just have a lot of dead angarans on your ship. I’ve had to hold your hand throughout the whole scheme to make sure the right signals were sent, the way you two tripped your way through everything… I admit that wasn’t my only reason, but it was a good one.”

There was an edge in his voice that puzzled Ryder; was he angry that they didn’t dance to his tune as he wanted? As far as she was concerned he had played them like a harp, but maybe he didn’t see it that way. She sensed that there was an opportunity at hand to learn more about his methods, if he would share them; perhaps it would somehow help… her eyes went to the opening behind him, but knew there was no way she could get passed him without getting in a fight. More importantly though, she wasn’t sure she didn’t want to somehow lure him out to expose him before the entire Resistance cell here, it could potentially mend all the fractures he had placed in the Initiative’s relationship with the angara; but how she was to do that without getting killed was another matter. She needed more time to think, unless SAM came up with something.

“That man in the beginning… why did you kill him?”

“Ah, yes,” Mashiar sighed. “Another hasty action. I’m afraid I lost my temper when I learned that I had to free you after you so clumsily let yourselves be caught instead of following the trail I planted.”

Ryder frowned. “The kett took us exactly where you wanted…” he cut her off.

“The kett weren’t part of the plan,” he made a dismissive gesture. He was getting impatient with the conversation, Ryder was sure of it.

She hesitated. “Why are you letting me ask all these questions?”

“I have my reasons,” he smiled mysteriously, and then fell silent, waiting for her to proceed. Well, at least she knew he wouldn’t prematurely end it; if she could just keep him talking long enough…

“The Roekaar… when did you even have the opportunity?”

“I fetched some scientists from Havarl, the very ones that Tajix tangled with eventually,” he smiled smugly. “It couldn’t have gone better if I had planned every second of it…” his smile faded and his expression changed again; it was as though he looked at her with mingled anger and regret – perhaps betrayal? Why did _he_ feel betrayed?

“So that wasn’t your plan…” Ryder said slowly. “You didn’t kill them to lure us there, did you? You were just taking advantage of the opportunity.”

“No, I didn’t expect you to be there,” Mashiar replied, a little irritable. “But it _was_ what caught my attention.”

Ryder looked a question at him.

“At first I thought he just made you his own to forget the pain, the way you kept arguing and acting as though nothing happened… but then I tried _so hard_ to steal you away and you wouldn’t come.”

Ryder’s heart skipped a beat. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that _Evfra_ could turn out to be _her_ weakness, but right then she knew that Mashiar could and would use her relationship with the Resistance leader against them in the worst way possible and she had to stop it, divert him if she could. _But this is madness! He can’t know! He must be lying…_ she thought, but she was afraid she knew that he wasn’t lying. If she could just shift his focus away from Evfra, perhaps that wouldn’t matter, though. Something tickled that part of her mind again in the way he had said those words and this time the feeling seized her strongly. He couldn’t possibly have feelings of his own towards her…? It really _was_ madness, clearly he was just manipulating her again.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to go with _that_ story,” Ryder said flatly. How gullible did he think she was?

“Is it really so hard to believe?” Mashiar asked with a smile. “You are quite exotic, quite intoxicating. I see what Evfra sees in you.”

“He doesn’t see anything,” Ryder said uncomfortably. “Nothing… nothing really happened.” It was worth a try, on the off chance that he really was just making very astute guesses.

“Oh, I know about you and him. I have from the start, I was watching you on Havarl.”

Ryder stared at him, starting to feel a little desperate. That wasn’t, of course, the beginning; Mashiar clearly didn’t know about what happened between her and Evfra on Voeld. Maybe that was her way out, if she could pass it off as a one-time thing… they _had_ agreed to keep up that appearance with Evfra anyway and she didn’t think there was any way Mashiar could know about any of their other encounters, either. She discarded the idea as she studied his expression, certain that he was convinced no matter what she said.

Mashiar smiled. “You are searching for a good reply… but does it really matter if I know?”

“There is nothing to know _about_ ,” Ryder snapped.

“Isn’t there?”

“Maybe I’m just not interested in _you_ in particular,” she sniffed, giving him the most arrogant stare she could muster. It seemed to have the desired effect because rage blazed in his eyes for a moment before he could master it again. “I’m not impressed by your little schemes, either,” she added.

To her surprise, Mashiar laughed. “Oh, I like you like this. I know almost everything! And you cannot deny that I have fascinated you as much as you fascinate me, I’ve watched you puzzle over every clue I’ve left you.”

 _Pathfinder, Evfra has gathered Resistance forces at central command and has ordered every exit and hallway covertly guarded,_ SAM said and Ryder could have leapt with joy. _Perhaps careful bating would goad Mashiar into using you as a hostage, he is not aware that the base is on alert. Snipers have been positioned along the hangar bay and all the exits. I was not able to communicate Firaan’s identity, however, as only Evfra has a point of reference._

It was enough; it had to be.

Ryder smiled humorlessly. “We stopped you, Mashiar, the battle you wanted between the Initiative and the Resistance failed today. You _really_ thought that I’m so vain that I have to be at the heart of the action wherever it is? You know _nothing_ about me _or_ my fascinations.”

“You haven’t proven me wrong… until now,” he pointed out.

“So what was your plan, force me into a situation where I have to betray one or the other?” Mashiar merely nodded in acknowledgement and Ryder shook her head. “You made too many assumptions. Perhaps you thought you got to know me enough…”

“You’re too late to stop the war,” Mashiar laughed, though her comment seemed to bother him. “Did you think that was my only plan?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, feigning surprise. So he didn’t know where she had sent Kandros. That was good; his information definitely had limits.

“I admit, I focused on you a little too much. I had to branch out. As we speak, the surviving Roekaar are descending on New Tuchanka, where ‘Firaan is hiding’,” he said mockingly, then gave another rich laugh, clearly delighted by his own cleverness.

Ryder smiled slowly, waiting for his mirth to subside as he took in her expression. “You think we’ve been that idle? We don’t dance to your strings anymore, _Firaan_ ,” she emphasized the name to drive her point home.

“Such defiance!” he grinned. “How are you going to stop me when you are on Voeld with me?”

“I admit, provoking the krogans was a brilliant plan,” she said.

Mashiar’s eyes were full of zest at her praise.

“But,” Ryder continued, “I’m afraid I have to disappoint you. Jaal is there and he’s leading a sizeable Resistance force. The Roekaar will have to fight angara aiding the krogans… _and_ the Nexus force I just sent to help him.”

A muscle twitched in Mashiar’s face, but he forced a smile. “I can work around that. You’ve only set me back a little.”

“I’ve been doing it from the start, it seems little setbacks is all it takes to stop you,” Ryder said. “Just admit it, you bit off more than you could chew with us. The Initiative isn’t like the kett _or_ the angara… clearly you have no idea how to properly manipulate events.”

“That, I fear, is entirely due to you alone, Pathfinder,” Mashiar nodded and abruptly grabbed her by the arm to twist her around, a blade going against her side and pressing just hard enough to be on the brink of slicing into her. Ryder gasped in surprise, but she didn’t struggle; the conversation was over, but she was more or less certain that he wouldn’t actually kill her. “So you are the one I have to do something about,” he added, forcing her forward and out of the alcove. He didn’t go towards the hangar bay, however; Ryder felt distinctly uneasy now.

“What exactly can you do about me that wouldn’t point straight at you?” she asked, trying to get him talking again – anything, so long as he didn’t take her to some obscure passageway the Resistance wasn’t aware of; she was _so close_ to exposing him, she would rather push herself on that blade to incriminate him than let him get away now.

“I wonder what the Resistance will say about how you’ve wrapped him around your finger… is that how the human expression goes?”

Ryder stared at him in horror as she suddenly understood his intention. “No,” she said in denial. “Mashiar, please, if you were even being a little honest just now about your feelings, _don’t do this_.”

Mashiar gave her a look that said she was being ridiculous. “I express my affections differently,” he said with a sardonic smile.

“The angara don’t deserve this! Please think about this,” Ryder said, struggling in his grip, but it was a token gesture. She was babbling and knew she was reacting completely irrationally, but she couldn’t help herself; there just _had_ to be an angaran heart still deep inside him and at the moment she wanted nothing more than to reach it, touch it, influence it _somehow_.

“I believe that you care about my people,” Mashiar said unexpectedly, “but I also believe that you, like them, are misguided in what you think is good for us. Think about it: _decades_ of endless war. Thousands upon thousands dead, fighting to the very last. With exaltation, we become more than what we were and there is no need for us to die.”

“That doesn’t even apply to all angara!” Ryder exclaimed, unable to fathom how the man could _possibly_ think such nonsense. “You know it doesn’t, thousands die in slave camps, you can’t tell me that is for their own good!”

Mashiar shrugged slightly, the blade digging into her side a little harder. “Culling is inevitable. Not everyone is suited for the future of our people.”

Before she knew it or could protest further, they were entering the command center; as SAM had promised, the place was filled with angara, though clearly none of them were expecting the pair of them to march into their midst as they did. Silence spread across them in a ripple beginning at the entrance they had walked through all the way to the back. Evfra looked surprised and worried to see them, eyes flicking between Ryder and Mashiar and she could almost see the conclusions forming in his mind; she just wasn’t sure if he was drawing the _right_ ones. SAM had only indicated to them that she was in trouble but not why, and it was likely that no one saw the blade at her side, only that Mashiar was arm-in-arm with her. They drew to a halt and Evfra took a step towards them, but Anjik laid a hand on his arm to stop him from descending and he grudgingly complied; the commander was one of hers, after all.

“Mashiar, what is the meaning of this?” Anjik asked. “When I heard the Pathfinder was taken captive I thought it more Initiative theatrics and now I find out it was _you_?”

Mashiar’s blade vanished from Ryder’s side and he stepped behind her in a most familiar way, nuzzling against her shoulder as his arms went around her waist to hold her in place. His spicy scent filled her lungs but the only thing she felt was panic; Anjik’s expression grew darker by the second, but it was nothing compared to Evfra’s face. The commander was provoking Evfra and she was very much afraid he didn’t realize that Mashiar was manipulating him. How could she tell him that he was Firaan?

“I wanted to tell everyone about the Pathfinder,” Mashiar said suggestively, running fingers through her hair before she could stop him with one hand, still holding her against him with the other. She tried to shy away from his fingers as he began to trace the contour of her neck, but he was standing too close for the move to be effective. He bent closer and in a low voice so that only she could hear he spoke into her hair, “Do you want me to go on? Maybe he will stop me, if you let him.”

“Stop this, Mashiar, please,” Ryder pleaded softly over her shoulder. She tried to squirm out of his grip, abandoning appearances, but his free hand suddenly gripped into her hair and she stilled. Her neck bent as it was she only saw Evfra from the corner of her eye, but she could see enough to know he looked murderous, though thankfully he seemed to be restraining himself.

“You know there is only one way to stop me,” Mashiar replied just as softly. “You can still choose me, if you want.”

“That’s… your business, Mashiar, take it somewhere else,” Anjik said, looking confused and a little perturbed at the display. Clearly she thought that all of this had been a false alarm and she began to turn away to give the command to stand down.

Mashiar smiled at her. “But I wanted to share something special about her with everyone. You see,” he hand reached around her shoulders to caress her cheek, “I confess I find her very fascinating…”

“What do I have to do?” Ryder asked him hastily, panicked. She was willing to let her dignity die here in the eyes of the angara, even go with him if that’s what it took, but if he managed to goad Evfra into joining her all would be lost.

“Why don’t you tell us about how you like to toy with us?” Mashiar asked in a loud enough voice that everyone could hear.

Ryder froze, casting around in her mind how she could possibly diffuse the situation, but she realized that the only thing she could do was let this happen. Still, a stubborn seed in her didn’t allow her to just casually _give in_ the way he wanted… she required an explanation. Squaring her shoulders and tilting her chin in the air, she locked eyes with Evfra, giving him an infinitesimal shake of the head to stop him from interfering. He just glared back at her and she was afraid that nothing she could do or say would be enough to stop him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, but his fingers went to her throat; it felt like a threat, but she knew that to the others it looked very different.

“What have you discovered?” Ashae demanded.

“You like your angarans, don’t you? How many of us have you used to further the Initiative’s schemes?” Mashiar asked, and, arm tightening painfully around her waist, added with a hiss, “Except of course, you only like to _tease_ me…”

“Mashiar, what are you trying to prove here?” Anjik demanded impatiently. “Are you saying the Pathfinder has been seducing her way to…”

“Get your hands _off her_ ,” Evfra growled suddenly, jerking his arm away from Anjik’s prohibitive snatch at him and he strode up to the pair of them.

“Evfra, no,” Ryder pleaded, but he ignored her, except to grab her arm and firmly pull her out of Mashiar’s embrace and behind him.

“You see?” Mashiar said cheerfully, walking backwards and holding an arm out towards them as if they were on display before Evfra could do more than make a threatening gesture. “Is that the action of an impartial man? You are all fools not to have seen it!”

“You!” Ashae took a step towards them, eyes bulging in shock. “It’s _true_?” she demanded.

“Don’t listen to him!” Ryder said to the room, to anyone who would listen. “Mashiar is not who he seems to be…”

“But are _you_ who _you_ seem to be, lady Pathfinder?” Mashiar demanded, cutting into her words. “Because what I see is our great leader, Evfra, protecting you like _a lover_ from his rival.” The smile he gave Evfra taunted and the Resistance leader growled, but the damage was done.

Gasps and mutters filled the room and everywhere Ryder looked, she saw incredulity and shock, even revulsion on a few faces. Even Anjik studied her as if only just then seeing her clearly for the first time, though her thoughts on the matter were hidden behind an unreadable expression. She tried to gently pry Evfra’s fingers off her arm, but he wouldn’t release it; his eyes were also studying the room.

“This woman has been poisoning the Resistance!” Ashae said hotly, striding towards her as though planning to rip her away from Evfra the way he had from Mashiar’s grip, but she abruptly drew to a halt as Evfra rounded on her.

“Leave her, Ashae,” he warned coldly.

The lieutenant stared at him, stunned. “You can’t mean…”

“We’ve always been a giving, accepting people,” Evfra said to the room at large. “If you think this is wrong, you’re welcome to join the Roekaar. The Resistance doesn’t want you. We _can_ fight this war alone, we have for many years, but we don’t _have_ to. And if I can save angara by accepting help from the woman I love, by the stars I will!” To everyone’s shock, he drew Ryder closer and kissed her.

Sound exploded around them, voices of shock, awe, disgust and celebration all mingled into a tumult that washed over Ryder into oblivion as she struggled not to melt completely; but it was difficult to care about anything except the overwhelming joy she felt washing away the pain and fear of the past hours until she felt dizzy with emotion. He drew away slowly, his tempestuous silvery eyes filled with fierce certainty and love for her; he smiled slightly, scar pulling at the edge of his mouth and she couldn’t help but laugh in delight.

“What have you done…” Ashae said behind her, voice filled with anguish.

Ryder turned, expecting to feel vindicated, but the lieutenant’s face made her hold back. Evfra’s eyes had fixed on the woman as well, his expression grim, but he still exuded a rock solid certainty that left no room for doubt in his decision.

“What I should have done long ago,” Evfra replied. “All this secrecy has only served to divide us.”

“You should _never_ have let it happen!” Ashae spat at him, enraged and clearly struggling with herself. “I won’t let this happen…” she added in a lower, more dangerous voice.

“Ashae, control yourself,” Anjik said disapprovingly, also stepping closer. She hesitated for a moment, studying Ryder still halfway in Evfra’s embrace and the Resistance leader himself. “This was not what I expected,” she said after a moment, “but you have my loyalty, Evfra. I think it will take time for people to adjust to…”

“You do _not_ have mine,” Ashae interrupted loudly, taking a step back and casting a fierce gaze around the room. “Not everyone is blind to the poison this woman has tainted the heart of our Resistance with! I am no Roekaar,” she sneered, “but I refuse to let the Milky Way aliens drag us to our end!”

“Ashae! We stand with you,” a fighter stepped forward from the crowd and so did others. Many others. Ryder bit her lip. There was no taking back what had happened, but her heart still broke over how many separated from the crowd to join the lieutenant, which was easily over a quarter of everyone assembled there.

“Where will you go?” Evfra asked calmly.

“Away from you,” Ashae responded. “We will build our _own_ Resistance… and defeat the kett without you and those who foolishly place their trust in you!”

“So we are enemies now,” Ryder said sadly.

Ashae snorted. “You never were my friend, human. Have him if you want, just know that _you_ are the reason why our people have divided against themselves here today.”

“Enough!” Evfra forestalled her from continuing. “ _She_ isn’t the one recruiting followers or running away. Get out,” he pointed towards the hangar bay and waited until all of them departed before speaking again. “I knew this would happen,” he said to no one in particular.

“I’m sorry,” Ryder said, but she couldn’t help but feel immense satisfaction that she could hug him closer to her in comfort without having to fear who would see the gesture.

“Don’t be,” he said to her, then raised his eyes to everyone remaining. All eyes were on them now, quiet with expectation. “We are different now than we were before,” he said to them, “and our brothers and sisters have left us because they believe in fighting alone. I don’t share that belief and I will still lead you if I still have your trust, but know that from now on we will not do it alone.”

“Are we going to fight them?” someone from the crowd asked. Ryder looked for the owner of the voice and saw that it was Veraan, eyes somber with concern. Clearly he meant Ashae and the fighters that had left with her.

“No,” Evfra replied. “Not unless they give us a reason to.”

“We stand with you to face whatever may come, Evfra, and with the Initiative as our allies,” Veraan replied. Others joined him, echoing his sentiment. Ryder was a little in awe at the intense loyalty in their eyes; maybe Evfra had been right to keep secrets, considering Ashae and her followers, but seeing the response of those who remained warmed her soul. _Nothing_ could take this away from him, not even Firaan could do it and that filled her with satisfaction.

One of the fighters stepped out of the crowd and looked directly at her. “The Resistance stands with the Initiative!” he said loudly, nodding his respect. She returned the gesture, startled and grateful, and more of them repeated the phrase.

“Evfra is our true leader!” a fighter said fiercely, glaring around the room to dare anyone to contradict her. “If he trusts the Pathfinder, then so do I!” More cheers joined her voice.

“It would appear that the Resistance still stands with you,” Anjik said, her expression serious. “Voeld is yours to command, Evfra. It always has been. Ashae will not find more allies here while I draw breath.”

“I will not fail you,” Evfra said to the room at large.

Ryder’s eyes searched around the room, a sudden panic seizing her. “Where is Mashiar?” she asked, looking up at Evfra with horror.

“Did anyone see Mashiar leave?” Evfra demanded. There were mutters and exchanged looks, but eventually all shook their heads.

“So Firaan slips away yet again,” Ryder said darkly. “Tajix died for nothing…”

“Tajix is dead?” Evfra asked, voice hardening. Ryder nodded sadly in answer. He considered for a moment, then addressed the room again. “If anyone finds him, he is to be taken dead or alive.”

“What has he done?” Anjik demanded, startled by the severity of the command.

“He has murdered our own and committed treason. It’s a long story,” Evfra said, already looking weary at the prospect of explaining it all. “I will tell you the whole thing later. Before that, we must focus on what we need to do to hold what remains of the Resistance together before Ashae can shatter it completely.”

“As well as help our friends in need?” Ryder asked.

“The Resistance will always stand with its friends,” Evfra smiled. “Especially at the human Pathfinder’s request.”

“Well, this human Pathfinder does request it – don’t even try to resist!” Ryder grinned.

“Your humor has not improved, I see,” Evfra grimaced.

“You know you love it.”

“I do,” he said unexpectedly and Ryder smiled.

Firaan had done his work thoroughly, she thought, looking around the room. The Resistance was divided, skirmishes between the Roekaar and their allies were probably rampant, but they knew who he was now and that would prevent him from continuing the kind of damage he had done so far. Despite all they had failed to accomplish or prevent, Ryder knew one thing for sure as she looked up at Evfra: they would face the coming storm together… and it felt _right_. 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I want to thank my family, my Taoshay ReignitedN7, my family on the BSN and all my wonderful readers – your comments, likes, exclamations and affections you have poured into R&D are what made it real and kept it alive, thank you for spending this time with my story! Keep an eye out for me, darling ones, I have plans!


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